Day: January 5, 2012

  • Terrible Tattoo Thursday 1/5

    It's time for a new year with all new bad tattoos.  Did anyone here get tattooed after New Year's Eve?

    Ride safe or suffer from a leaky drive shaft.

    Dieting?  Getting rid of cellulite?  Not being my girlfriend?  Attacking the wave of butt ripple?

    I'm sure Ashton feels the same way

    Stuff white people like...Nutella and stupid tattoos.

    He's obviously talking about former U.S. representative Anthony Weiner's diminutive stature.  I'm pretty sure I'd have to get this tattoo.

    Unless your fiance dies in a car accident.

    I love Wisconsin but I'd never get it tattooed on my body nor would I admit to being from south of Milwaukee on the shore in tattoo form.

    I'm sure he's popular at the local police station.

    You're stupid.  You are much too heavy to be tossed about by the wind unless it is in excess of a 100mph. 

    Yesterday I went outside with my mama's mason jar, caught a lovely butterfly when I woke up today looked in on my fairy pet she had withered all away no more sighing in her breast I'm sorry for what I did I did what my body told me to I didn't mean to do you harm every time I pin down what I think I want it slips away the ghost slips away smell you on my hands for days I can't wash away your scent if I'm a dog then you're a bitch I guess you're as real as me maybe I can live with that maybe I need fantasy life of chasing butterfly I'm sorry for what I did I did what my body told me to I didn't mean to do you harm every time I pin down what I think I want it slips away the goal slips away I told you I would return when the robin makes his nest but I ain't never coming back I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

    Larry may have been a legend on the basketball court but he's not a legendary tattoo

    Oh Otis...I hope you're sitting on the dock of the bay wherever you are.  I forgot to go to pay respects to you this winter but maybe when it thaws.

    I can't make out this tattoo the best but it's supposedly the Mount Rushmore of rock.  I think it's Eric Clapton, John Lennon, Bob Marley and Neil Young.  Maybe you have a better guess.

    I hear he has to re-install that tattoo every time he gets sick.

    I hear if you sing into that mic you will sound like Elvis and immediately be taken to the mental hospital.

    Oy vey...even though he got a profile tattooed on his body I bet that will keep him out of the cemetery.

    And there's most definitely a long line of sinners standing behind you.

    Oh how I long for the Glory Days when this tattoo would've been more relevant.  I guess you have to be Born in the USA to get it.  Well I guess I'll just have to head down the Tunnel of Love in my Pink Cadillac to reminisce in My Hometown and then maybe I'll go Dancing in the Dark.  I'm on Fire.

    Jesus riding a raptor...where is your science now?

    I think there's better ways to remember Jesus than tattoos.

    Thank you for indulging my eprop addiction.

  • Music I Wish I Owned

    @roscoes_farm recently did a post about funny music album covers.  Well this reminded me that I had some that I was going to post a while back buried somewhere in a flash drive.  I posted some a few years back so I thought I would dig those up and bring up these new ones...ALL for your laughter.

    And because I'm told all my posts need a warning because some of you work at the Vatican...NSFW


    You know what?  The world needs more singing cops.  I bet a TV show about cops that is a musical would be a huge hit.

    Well the rhythm method is accepted by the church but I don't know about "Danny Boy".

    "No problem, Mike.  Yours truly, God"

    I think I have found a new occupation.  Seriously, I once watched a TV show on one of the screaming preacher stations and saw these guys who lifted weights, tore phone books, bent metal rods, etc. all for the glory of Jesus.  To this day, I am still trying to figure out how ripping a phone book into two pieces is supposed to be preaching about Christ.  Maybe someone will see the feat and think, "Hey if that guy believes in Jesus and can rip a phonebook in two then I will be able to as well but only if I believe in Jesus."  Oh and that person must live in a trailer park.  But isn't it a little odd that he's using a pseudo-Asian religion to promote Christ?

    Is his name intentional or did he give birth to this crap?

    Yeah...I'll pass on feeding

    I have a request.  STOP! 

    I hope no one gets addicted listening to their music.

    Geez...how many times did Dustin Hoffman do drag?

    I hope the "something special" doesn't involve the hook.

    Apparently he was on his way to his job as a rose bush impersonator and stumbled onto the cover of this album.

    But he doesn't look real.  Actually I like some of their work so NEXT

    I'm pretty sure he borrowed that song from The Simpsons so he'll end up needing to borrow a lawyer.

    They don't even look Austrailian, mate.  He has a sinister look that tells me that he's planning on something more than a massage.  LADY, LOOK OUT!

    Hmmmm I wonder if their wives know they're playing with each other.

    Dear lord...WHY?

    Dad?

    And I hate your album cover.

    That has to be the best album title of all time.

    Two of the worst things known to mankind: Disco and Ethel Merman.  I have heard that the military has been using this album on detainees at Guantanamo Bay.  Yeah, that probably is too torturous but I guess if it keeps me safe and able to drink beer in my backyard on nice sunny days then I don't really mind.

    So which ones are the lesbians?  It is so hard to spot the lesbians because I have been conditioned by Cinemax to believe that all lesbians are voluptuous blonde nymphomaniacs and not the plaid wearing, mullet sporting, man-haters that I actually see on the streets of my little town.  Although the stereotype of the voluptuous lesbian is solidified when the local chapter of Dykes on Bikes rolls into town...they're a great group of gals...Curse you, Cinemax.

    I seriously want to hear this or at least become a country rock sensation and cover this song.  I think country has some of the funniest songs.  "Dropkick Me Jesus", "I'm Out Getting Hammered(while she's out getting nailed)", and "I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling" are some of my favorites.  If you want to hear some of my other favorite country songs look up the artist Larry Pierce.

    Well Freddie, maybe they are just pretending to be dead because did you ever take the time to look at what you wear for footwear?  I think if the album cover was black this may be the greatest selling goth album ever.

    What did you think?  Leave feedback.

    And because people are posting photos of themselves as youngsters...

    Oh and I want to do a vlog one of these days and need some questions.  I also want to talk with my cock so leave some questions.