And we're back to the rankings and points system that mean absolutely nothing unless you want them to mean something.

25.  The Baseball Hall of Fame  75pts
The sports writers didn't elect anyone to the hall of fame today.  I somewhat agree with that stance because of all the clouds surround the players that were up for induction.  I think Pete Rose will make the Hall before Barry Bonds.  I just hope they finally elect Jack Morris.

24.  It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia  80pts
It's currently on my TV.  I love this show.  Rock Flag Eagle!  Did you know they are launching a beer?

23.  Working Body Parts  100pts
I always took fully functioning knees for granted.  I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to be better to my limbs.

22.  Starship and Foghat 103pts
they are playing at the nearby casino the weekend of my birthday.  I'm totally going to go mosh with people in their 50s but only if my knees allow me the pleasure

21.  Gifs 112pts
Without them how would Tumblr exist?

20.  Porno Parodies 169pts
Pulp Friction...Lord of the G-Strings...Bi-Tanic...Breast Side Story...Buffy the Vampire Layer...Clockwork Orgy...Edward Penishands...Jurassic Pork...The Poonies...The Penetrator...these are all real titles.  I should really do another porno parodies post for your enjoyment.

19.  Masturbating 222pts
It's really confusing.

18.  Dan Patrick 225pts
I really love listening to his show.  It's just so awesome and so much better than anything ESPN offers.

17.  Django Unchained/Quentin Tarantino 237pts
I haven't seen this movie but with all I've seen of it on Tumblr I'm fairly certain I've seen everything.  I might go see it this weekend.  I'm fairly anxious to view it just because Tarantino is a master of dialogue.  I'm in the theater watching Death Proof and my jaw is hanging open because here's a movie about a guy that kills women with his car and it has some of the best dialogue in any movie I had seen that year.  Now I'm imagining that dialogue coupled with Leonardo DiCaprio...yeah I hope it's good.

16.  Phish 250pts
You don't have to be a stoner to enjoy their music...but it helps.

15.  Posture  275pts
I remember how my teachers always warned us to sit straight up in our desks otherwise we'd be slumped over as adults.  I ran into one of my classmates whom the teachers always nagged about sitting up straight.  She's all slumped over these days.  My gawd...my teachers were telling the truth.

14.  Teachers' Lies 276pts
I attended a Lutheran grade school and part of the curriculum was Bible history.  I don't know how many times from kindergarten through 8th grade I heard the story of Phillip preaching to the Ethiopian eunuch.  Every single time someone asked, "what is a eunuch" and every single time a teacher said, "a high ranking government official".  If having your junk cut off is what it takes to make it in government then I'll be happy being a nobody.  This may explain things in D.C. though.

13.  Magnets 295pts
How the fuck do they work?

12.  Money 750pts
I like money too.  We should totally hang out.  The first person to give the answer to this reference will make next week's power rankings.

11.  American Horror Story: Asylum 969pts
Amirite?  That show is amazing.  I won't give away any spoilers here because I know some of you may watch it but haven't seen recent episodes.  But the last episode, the creator Ryan Murphy, sent a Tweet about there being a clue as to what the next season would be.  My guess is a circus, a funeral home, or a darker version of Glee.  Pepper Pepper bo-bepper, Banana-nana-fo-fepper, Fee-fi-mo-mepper, PEPPER!

10.  The Number 9 999pts
Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9 Number 9

9.  Assault Rifles 1250pts
I was thinking of buying one but the price tags are a little out of my range.  I mean I don't think I want to shell out $1400 for a gun.  It's amazing how people are buying into the paranoia of banning the weapons.  I was told that recently a large sporting good store featured some sort of sale and there were people lined up for a mile just for the chance to order a gun.

8.  Milk Duds 1300pts
Two of the best things in candy...chocolate and caramel...in one candy, a candy that when eaten outside in a Wisconsin winter will shatter your teeth. 

7.  The lead singer of Smashmouth, Violent J of the Insane Clown Posse, and Guy Fieri 1500pts
Have you ever seen them together in one place?  No.  It's because they are the same person.

6.  Cats 1685pts
I don't know where mine are right now and that is scaring me because I'm afraid that once I leave this room they are going to attack me.

5.  Alex Jones 1776pts
The dude is insane.  Sometimes I don't think he could tell rat shit from Rice Krispies.  He believes that the government is flying planes over us and spraying us with chemicals to keep us in line.  He feeds on paranoia.  Oh and is it any surprise that he and Charlie Sheen are good friends? 

4.  The Green Bay Packers 6000pts
They are America's team.  They are the best team to ever take the football field.  You can't argue these facts and if you try well I won't respond because you're obviously a lummox.

3.  Xanga 6502pts
Thanks for getting rid of chat.  Thank you so much.  Now if you could just bring back the ability to leave blank comments and still get eprops.

2.  Cunnilingus 6969pts
Come on, it's the closet thing to heaven on earth...worshiping at the altar of Venus...spreading the Gospel of St. Likalotapus.  Yeah, I'm a freakshow.

1.  Xanga Erotica Contest  1,000,000pts
Do you have a hankering to write some naughty stuff?  You have one month to submit so get to writing.  Oh and here are the contest details.  Check out that awesome judge.

These aren't my glasses

I'd watch a musical if it involved chips.

I don't know which is funnier, the bear or the box.  Either way, I know what some lucky lady is getting for Valentine's Day.

I doubt there is a photo that is more iconic than this.  The King of Rock and Roll and the most corrupt president in American history...both had their birthdays this week.

Once TLC is done with her, MTV 2 plans on airing episodes of Honey Boo Boo Pimp My Ride

Zero Dark Smurfy

Without gifs and Tumblr how else would I have discovered this gem and then spend the next 10 minutes laughing my head off?

Crazy Uncle Joe...your hand is getting a little high there.  Is it me or does that cop look like W.C. Fields?  Am I expecting too much that Xanga might know W.C. Fields?

Have a great time period.  I'm watching to make sure you leave eprops.