I thought I'd share some haikus and limericks with you.  Remember I am very alone.

We had hours of great sex, we must stop.
We’re both spent; you’re lying on top.
After just a short breather,
What peeks out from beneath her?
It seems I’d like to have one more pop.

Black light engulfs day
The moon bleaches the darkness
I sip on some scotch

Banana crotch shot
Bus full of weird Eskimos
Cucumber wizard

In a 69 she’d bestride him
A great oral delight to provide him
He enjoyed it, of course
But she sucked with such great force
That his balls are now way up inside him

I melt in your hands
and I drip through your fingers
will you ever hold on

Your smile makes me
Melt slowly on the inside
I miss you too much

As we basked in the warm, morning sun
I gave you some twat licking fun
Through the window sunlight streamed,
In my mouth you creamed
And I didn’t stop ‘til you were done.

Somebody told me
To watch out for you, they knew
I wouldn’t listen.

And you decided
To take advantage of that.
Now I feel so used.

She knows that I would never hurt her
Hold a gun to my head, I’d never desert her
I want her by my side
Through all this life’s crazy ride
But if she gets on her knees then I’ll squirt her

I love you so much
please tell me you feel the same
we’d be amazing

One day I wish to
be awaken by the sun,
and your loving arms

At the beach we were feeling quite randy
But we had no refuge for privacy handy
Overwhelmed by emotion
We fucked right there by the ocean
Taking much care not to get our parts sandy.

A PB&J
washed down by a PBR-
midnight lesson plans

I love Wisconsin
Hear rustling outside my house
It’s a herd of deer

She met two guys by the pool
The sight of her made each of them drool
They said, “Come here and sit between us.”
She took hold of each penis
And began to expertly jerk them off like at school

Boobs, tits, and hooters
I desire more topless pics
I am so lonely

painful memories
drown in pools of agony
wash away like rain

Gave this cutie a ride home from school.
“For an old guy, you seem pretty cool!”
I loved her high-pitched giggle…
Wait… what made her skirt wiggle?
Holy shit, now I feel like a fool. 

Thank you very much
It means much when I hear this
stay tuned for some more

My love, I miss you
Your scent, your eyes, your beauty
And of course your boobs

Saw this lovely girl actively brushing.
To her side I was already rushing.
Luscious boobs sweetly swaying,
I envisioned us playing…
Then one detail just left me blushing.

Your life will not be
erased from our memories;
I will remember

You were so lovely
And it grieves me to confess
I wish you were still

I love when you tease my junk
And hearing you laugh as I dribble out spunk
After all that is through
There’s no way we can screw
My dick bounces around like it’s drunk

Las tnight, in my dream,
My soft lips were pressed against
Your porcelain skin.

You sound like Yoda
But you are not very green
And you are taller

Would you like to give me a new treat?
Please jerk me off with your feet.
I must say, heaven knows,
You’re quite skilled with your toes
You make other girls seem obsolete

Thank you very much
Yes, there is a distinct theme
I know these things best

I'm no good with them
Mine start with "there once was a
Man from Nantucket

Shema Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad Baruch Shem Kevod Malchuto Leolam Vaed Nananana Batman

Now that he's retired I wonder what he's going to do for recreation.  Probably bowl, drive around, and the occasional acid flashback.

That show on A&E called Shipping Wars is a real hoot these days.

Lohan/Sheen 2016

Love is two sweet four me.

History Channel is so awesome.  I hear for July 4th they're planning an Ancient Aliens marathon.

The updated vice presidential portrait.

I'd love to hear the songs she comes up with when they break up.


And that's probably the only way someone could get me to appreciate the arts.

Hugh Hefner trained everyone who lives and works at the Playboy mansion how to perform CPR on his junk.




Accurate movie posters.

I'm sorry...just sorry for everything.