So where have I been?  I really don't rightly know.  It's such a difficult question to answer because where have we all been?  Anyway, the last week I've noticed my mouse for my PC hasn't been functioning properly and the only place in town that sells computer accessories is a Dollar General and the only mice they have are the old fashioned ones with the big balls inside.  I had one of those with my first computer for about a week.  I went out and bought a state of the art optical mouse and I've had it ever since.  I guess 11 and a half years is a pretty long time for a mouse.  I was sad to see it go.  But Saturday I didn't get to a store.  I went out with a friend to one of the largest shoe stores in the Midwest.  I didn't buy any shoes because I've hurt my foot.  Sometime in my short time of sleeping last week I kicked something in my sleep and my foot is all bruised and swollen so needless to say it hurts.  My friend bought some boots and I found a baseball hat for a minor league team in this area named the Madison Mallards.  Turns out the guy who owns the shoe store also owns the baseball team.  I made my purchase and was handed a coupon.  It was for $1.50 off any drink of equal or greater price at a bar down the highway.  My friends and I figured what the hell but on the way we found a liquor store where I purchased one of my favorite beers, Ale Asylum's Hopalicious.  We then made it to the bar which was called Rookies.  It turns out that the guy who owns the shoe store also owns the bar.  It was filled with so much sports memorabilia that I went into sensory overload.  I enjoyed a Lake Louie pale ale and then I had some other beer but I can't remember the name.  On the way home I fell asleep.  I told my friend that it was because I'm still recovering from my illness.  We then stopped off at a bar in a town of about 25 to 50 people.  We decided to have some lunch and as I was browsing the menu another patron asked to see the remote so he could change the channel.  He flipped it to Will Smith's "Wild Wild West".  The bartender/owner says, "Oh man, a negro as Jim West.  That ain't right."  Then the patron said, "Yeah I didn't think a negro cast as Jim West was good but it's a decent movie."  After our orders were placed and I was still in shock from hearing these comments a scene came up where Will Smith encounters an Asian women.  The one patron who said it was a decent movie was playing a video poker machine and he asked, "Did that negro get that gook pussy?"  I was stammering but thankfully his friend answered him.  I was just silent the rest of the time because I got thinking how far we have come as a society.  I think five years ago if I was in that bar they wouldn't have referred to Will Smith as a negro but as the n-word.  I think that's a positive change President Obama has had on our nation.  Now if we have an Asian president then when I encounter that bar and Wild Wild West is on maybe the pussy will be referred to as "oriental".  Then after we ate the owner offered us his homemade blue raspberry moonshine.  That was delightful.  When I got home I was sort of tired so I laid down for a couple of hours and then turned on my PS3 and discovered Crackle.  It's not as good as Netflix but it has some good stuff.  I watched so many episodes of All in the Family and then I fell asleep for the night.  I woke up Sunday morning and went to church and then at church my dad said that he and my mom planned on going out for lunch and he wondered if I wanted to go along.  I thought why not because then I may get a mouse.  We went through an Amish settlement and went by the farm that was hosting church for the week.  That was neat to see all the Amish buggies.  There were over a hundred there.  Then my parents' decided that they wanted a fancy Sunday lunch and because they had coupons they decided to eat at Burger King.  I sort of laughed but they did have the Coke Freestyle machine.  I had too much caffeine with that thing.  Then we went over to Walmart but before I got out my mom said a couple of tires on the car looked low.  I said it was because I drank so much Coke but she insisted we fill the tires with air.  So my dad drives to a nearby gas station to fill the tires.  Of course my dad insists that I fill the tires and he parks in front of the air machine and with the snow melt I have to walk through a lake.  The puddles were up to my ankles but I got his tired filled.  Then when we got back to Walmart we ran into a cousin who was a sheriff's deputy.  We talked about the government and how awful it is and how I thought that I was just growing cynical and saw the country falling apart but now I think it actually is.  Then I go in back and find my mouse.  I got a wireless logitech.  I was sort of worried about it because the last time I got a logitech mouse my computer rejected it but I had some other computer issues going on at the time and it wasn't wireless.  I also picked up Argo and Skyfall.  My dad asked if he or my mom got me a birthday present.  I said no so he took my stuff and threw it in his motorized cart and sped off.  I went towards the front and picked up a pack of socks because I noticed that while I was sick so many of my socks had holes in them.  I then sat on a bench waiting for my parents to finish their shopping.  I was reading the package and was rocking back and forth because my foot hurt.  This 80+ year old woman sat down next to me and asked, "They let you out of the home today?"  I replied in a weird voice because for some reason my voice is going out even though I don't have any laryngitis, "Yeah, I'm lucky because I've been locked up in home this winter."  She smiled and said, "Well that's great."  Then she got up and left.  It dawned on me later that she must've thought I was mentally handicapped.  Then I saw another family member and we had a nice talk.  Then my mom shows up at the bench and asks if I got a birthday present from her or my dad.  I said no because honestly I hadn't YET.  She picked up my socks and then walked to the candy aisle.  She got me a couple bags of Cadbury mini eggs.  God I love them but I haven't cracked them open.  Then we came home backroads through another Amish community.  I saw so many farms selling eggs, rugs, and veal.  I think I'll have to go back on a day that's not Sunday because all the signs also had "No Sunday Sales".  Then I ended up in a town named Hustler at a bowling alley named Hooterbowl.  Larry Flynt would've been proud.  I didn't bowl.  I just had to use the bathroom and in a town of 175 that's all there was.  Then I saw a couple sun dogs and will have to post the photos later.  We were nearing home and went by a grocery store and I asked to stop so I could get some brats because this grocery store makes their own.  I bought a six pack of brats and as I'm leaving I run into another family member who was with his grandson.  They were picking out a pizza and I didn't get to ask the grandson how he was doing so I asked the grandfather but I couldn't remember the kid's name.  I thought for some reason it was "Junko".  Turns out it was Tyler.  Junko.  That would be an awesome name.  I finally got home and watched some Amazing Race and then America's Worst Cooks and the dude was literally grilling cheese.  I ended up falling asleep around 9:15 and woke up at 2AM and I watched the History Channel's Vikings show.  It was pretty good which surprised me quite a bit.  Then I went back to bed.  Today I didn't have anything scheduled so I got my mouse installed and it's working like a charm.  Well that's about it.  And people say  I never talk about myself.

Some people have basketball for March Madness....well this is mine.  I think we're going to have a non-European pope but that's just where my money's riding.

Just keep going, don't stop.  What?  I have no clue what this even means.

Your dvds and mouse and socks and Cadbury mini eggs won't heal my wounds

I'll make you smile one way or another.

I love this state

I laugh at Satan too

A very smart man in Wisconsin has started bottle brandy old fashioneds.  I'm so thirsty now.

OK...with pleasure?

I am too and I'm wanting to do a Rushmore-esque downward spiral.

Now we know where the missing leg on the table went.

Wow...they can't get "your" correct but they get "receipt".

In the Chinese translation of Disney's Cinderella the coach was translated as a blumpkin.

Ladies, would you wear these pants?  You may have to click on the photo to see the pattern.

This is what happens when we have loose gun laws.

I may have sounded quite negative in this post so I thought I'd end with a little positivity.