The 20 Most Powerful Man Names

1. Matt
2. Adam
3. David
4. Peter
5. Barry
6. Shawn
7. Timothy
8. Connor
9. Phillip
10. Taylor
11. Alex
12. Michael
13. Jonathan
14. Daniel
15. William
16. Colt
17. Lucifer
18. Blake Fistcrunch
19. Dirk Hardpec
20. Slab Bulkhead

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF 
1.  I chew my fingernails
2.  I can’t remember my birthday so thatis why people forget it this year.
3.  I am not the largest cephalopod onearth.
4.  I never have made a girl fart throughsilk but it is a goal
5.  I cry when I watch certain movies.
6.  Even though I am 6’2” and even thoughsome consider that tall, I feel short.
7.  I am so Raven
8.  I think I’m addicted to the internetbecause I’ve started using internet lingo in my regular speaking. 
9.  Even though I don’t display it, I amrather musical.
10.  Lately I’ve been seeing how long Ican go in a day without speaking English. Typing is another story.

NINE THINGS YOU’VE THOUGHT ABOUT RECENTLY
1.  What would the world be like without me andwould it be better off?
2.  I think I should finally tell her howI feel.
3.  No, I won’t say anything because Ilike her in my life as a friend and don’t want to lose that.
4.  Boobs
5.  Why do people enjoy anallingus
6.  Tornadoes suck ass
7.  Why are people so enamored by realityTV?  Your life is reality and there is noway I’d watch my life on TV because it’s boring or at least parts of it areboring and not TV worthy.
8.  Why do people de-friend me onfacebook?  Oh well, no loss but seriouslyI’m not that difficult to love.
9.  Why am I single?

EIGHT WAYS TO WIN YOUR HEART
1.  Give me attention
2.  Laugh at my jokes
3.  Like me for me
4.  Dress up like a cheerleader
5.  Do math
6.  Boobs
7.  Dance like they dance in the CharlieBrown cartoons.
8.  Wear that one perfume I like

SEVEN FAVORITE SONGS YOU’VE HAD
1.  Wish You were Here- Pink Floyd
2.  Keep Me in Your Heat for a While-Warren Zevon
3.  Gigantic- The Pixies
4.  Army of Me- Bjork
5.  Given to Fly- Pearl Jam
6.  Nowhere Man- Pearl Jam
7.  10,000 Lakes- Kid Dakota

SIX THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU GO TOBED 
1.  Laugh at Darko Milicic.
2.  Watch Adult Swim.
3.  Eat some fruit
4.  Check my phone
5.  Brush teeth.
6.  Ponder my future.

FIVE THINGS YOU DO ON YOUR DAYS OFF. 
1.  Xanga
2.  Boobs
3.  Weep
4.  Vidja games
5.  Realize that this will not find melove

FOUR THINGS YOU’RE DOING RIGHTNOW. 
1.  Listening to Family Guy
2.  Braiding my chest hair
3.  Wondering what happened to Tim Tebow
4.  Trying to figure out how to play thesad walking away music from The Incredible Hulk

THREE THINGS YOU’RE SCARED OF
1.  Birds
2.  Dying alone
3.  Kidney failure

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOUDIE 
1.  Be loved
2.  Participate in a month longintergalactic orgy

ONE CONFESSION
1.  The word "love"doesn't necessarily mean shit to me.

Sure, they have to put something I'm allergic to where I live.

His shirt says "She wants the D".  I guess that means "She wants the disaster relief".

Oh, honey girl, you better work.

Well, are you?  Or since it's almost over...did you?

A man defeated


I loved the new season of Arrested Development but I was sort of upset there wasn't any chicken shenanigans although George Michael was about to do his chicken but didn't quite get to it.  I hope there is another season.

Yeah...pretty much life right now.  I was going to do an entire post about my health but I'll sum it up.  "Oh, hey, I gotta take a dump."  *sit on toilet, opens ESPN Magazine, relaxes, explosion*  "OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT?!?!"  *explosion subsides, relaxes, switches to Maxim Magazine, explosion*  "OH DEAR LORD WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!"  *cries, pain intensifies, breathes like I'm in labor, wipes, stands up, sees toilet bowl full of blood, faints, wakes up minutes later, cries, pain, flushes*  Then I'll just be sitting around and have pain stomach pain and then start vomiting what is probably stomach bile or acid or whatever the hell it is.  This was all going on years ago and the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong.  They think my pain is from ulcers now but they can't figure out why I'm losing so much blood and why I'm anemic and why I have little to no iron or potassium and why some of my blood cell numbers resemble those of a cancer patient.  Fun times, people, fun times.

Well I better get going, I have a lot to accomplish tomorrow.  I wish I had the medical marijuana because that might help with the pain.  At least let me have some Flintstones Chewable Morphine.

Sorry I had nothing better