I was in stitches because The Purpose Drive Life is being used by so many churches to boost attendance and frankly I can't stand it. I like to refer to it as Christianity Lite. Also, I wish he were to stick to one version of the Bible in the book. Oh well, I was forced to read it and I am such a better person.
The funny this is that comes from a Christian radio station called WOTM(Way of the Master). I was hoping it was He Man but no. I would rather read the porpoise driven life instead of the actual one.
this is real??!?!?! wow....really?? and here i thought that the church of Scientology was the funniest damn thing i have ever seen. i stand corrected.
This is a mockery of a very popular Christian book called The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. In it he says that God has five purposes for human life on earth. If you like reading books that have substance stay away from that one.
A while back Sundance Channel ran a documentary on the snakehandler movement in the Appalachian area. That was some strange stuff.
I love it. Having been raised evangelical fundamentalist (I even went to Moody Bible Institute) I saw so many of these types of books and heard so many promotions and devotions based on them. This is a riot. Thanks.
And speaking of porpoises. (This is better if you read this aloud.) Did you hear about the scientist in Tampa, FL who thought porpoises were so smart that he wanted to teach them to speak? He was working so hard, but he realized that with the short lifespan of a porpoise, just as he was making progress, they would die. So he decided to work on a syrum that would make popoises live forever. He worked on this syrum but then found he had a problem: he needed very, very young sea gulls. And the problem was when he would order sea gulls through the sea gull network, they were already too old by the time they were delivered to his laboratory. Then he found a sea gull hatchery in Jacksonville where he could get them immediately after hatching. So he loaded his van and drove to the hatchery. He picked up 10 dozen newly hatched chicks, put them in his van and started home by way of Tallahasee. Now on this day, Florida State football was playing the University of Florida. The mascot for Florida State was a lion and during the half-time show, the trainer was running down the sidelines with the lion mascot. All of a sudden the lion broke away from the trainer and bolted for an exit door. The lion continued to run and tried crossing the expressway when it was hit by a Mack truck. This created a terrible traffic jam as all traffic was stopped for several miles. And the scientist was getting worried. He knew he had to get back to his laboratory in Tampa as soon as possible before the sea gulls got too old. So he pulled onto the repai lane on the side of the expressway and started passing all the parked cars. When he reached the site of the accident, the police had already pulled the lion to the repair lane. So the scientist was right in front of the lion and didn't know what to do. But he knew he had to get home as soon as possible. So he pulled ahead and drove right over the lion. As soon as he did, the police arrested him. Do you know what they charged him with? "Transporting young gulls over state lions for immortal porpoises".
Thank you for that. I use humor as a coping device. It takes my mind off the serious and makes it rest easier.
I was/am affiliated with the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod(WELS). I think they are/were one of the most conservative Christian denominations. I went through their college(MLC, graduated 2003) and was a teacher/minister for three years. Taught one year of high school religion and the church shipped me to a grade school to teach 5th and 6th grade. I had some interesting experiences but financial problems arose in the church where I served and I was cut because I was the youngest person on faculty. That sort of made me fall out of faith well more of my taste for church bodies. When a pastor tried using P.D.L. for devotions I was against it but he went ahead and it hurt church attendance. The people who went to the Bible classes where they discussed this book ended up going to a nearby mega-church instead.
@godfatherofgreenbay - I should tell you that while at Moody Bible Institue, I quit one semester short of graduating. The reason was this: A fellow-student and I had befriended a derelict on skid row. Over a period of time, we would take him into a restaurant for a meal and listen to him tell us about his life - or former life. After a while, my friend and I wanted to do something with him besides eat. His coordination was shot so we couldn't take him roller skating or even bowling. So one night we took him to see the movie "Around the World in 80 Days". While sitting in the theater, I realized that there was something wrong with this picture. Here we were, helping this friend and basically "doing a loving act", yet had my friend and I been caught in the movie theater, we would have been kicked out of Moody. (Movies weren't allowed along with smoking and drinking or even putting your arm around your date as you ushered her through an open door.) I realized that these people who preach love, don't know what love is. They won't befriend or even associate with an unbeliever unless they are trying to convert them. And that isn't love. So that was one of many realizations that I had that any religion that couldn't truly love, was apostate.
By the way, I'm familiar with the Lutheran Missouri Synod but not WELS. My background was actually independent Baptist.
I hope both you and your Dad are all right after Thanksgiving.
If you would like to continue a more personal exchange, please feel free to e-mail me at David.Kimball@att.net
Comments (9)
sorry for your lack of sleep.
the vid was hilarious though and almost made my wife choke to death on her tea she was laughing so hard.....ha.....
OMG, my mom has both of those real books.
Full of hilarity! The leaps of logic, puns and biblical references were insane. Now that's a trinity I can get behind!
@choralone -
I was in stitches because The Purpose Drive Life is being used by so many churches to boost attendance and frankly I can't stand it. I like to refer to it as Christianity Lite. Also, I wish he were to stick to one version of the Bible in the book. Oh well, I was forced to read it and I am such a better person.
@methodElevated -
The funny this is that comes from a Christian radio station called WOTM(Way of the Master). I was hoping it was He Man but no. I would rather read the porpoise driven life instead of the actual one.
this is real??!?!?! wow....really??
and here i thought that the church of Scientology was the funniest damn thing i have ever seen.
i stand corrected.
@choralone -
This is a mockery of a very popular Christian book called The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. In it he says that God has five purposes for human life on earth. If you like reading books that have substance stay away from that one.
A while back Sundance Channel ran a documentary on the snakehandler movement in the Appalachian area. That was some strange stuff.
I love it. Having been raised evangelical fundamentalist (I even went to Moody Bible Institute) I saw so many of these types of books and heard so many promotions and devotions based on them. This is a riot. Thanks.
And speaking of porpoises. (This is better if you read this aloud.) Did you hear about the scientist in Tampa, FL who thought porpoises were so smart that he wanted to teach them to speak? He was working so hard, but he realized that with the short lifespan of a porpoise, just as he was making progress, they would die. So he decided to work on a syrum that would make popoises live forever. He worked on this syrum but then found he had a problem: he needed very, very young sea gulls. And the problem was when he would order sea gulls through the sea gull network, they were already too old by the time they were delivered to his laboratory. Then he found a sea gull hatchery in Jacksonville where he could get them immediately after hatching. So he loaded his van and drove to the hatchery. He picked up 10 dozen newly hatched chicks, put them in his van and started home by way of Tallahasee. Now on this day, Florida State football was playing the University of Florida. The mascot for Florida State was a lion and during the half-time show, the trainer was running down the sidelines with the lion mascot. All of a sudden the lion broke away from the trainer and bolted for an exit door. The lion continued to run and tried crossing the expressway when it was hit by a Mack truck. This created a terrible traffic jam as all traffic was stopped for several miles. And the scientist was getting worried. He knew he had to get back to his laboratory in Tampa as soon as possible before the sea gulls got too old. So he pulled onto the repai lane on the side of the expressway and started passing all the parked cars. When he reached the site of the accident, the police had already pulled the lion to the repair lane. So the scientist was right in front of the lion and didn't know what to do. But he knew he had to get home as soon as possible. So he pulled ahead and drove right over the lion. As soon as he did, the police arrested him. Do you know what they charged him with? "Transporting young gulls over state lions for immortal porpoises".
A merry heart doeth good like a medicin.
@curiousdwk -
Thank you for that. I use humor as a coping device. It takes my mind off the serious and makes it rest easier.
I was/am affiliated with the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod(WELS). I think they are/were one of the most conservative Christian denominations. I went through their college(MLC, graduated 2003) and was a teacher/minister for three years. Taught one year of high school religion and the church shipped me to a grade school to teach 5th and 6th grade. I had some interesting experiences but financial problems arose in the church where I served and I was cut because I was the youngest person on faculty. That sort of made me fall out of faith well more of my taste for church bodies. When a pastor tried using P.D.L. for devotions I was against it but he went ahead and it hurt church attendance. The people who went to the Bible classes where they discussed this book ended up going to a nearby mega-church instead.
@godfatherofgreenbay - I should tell you that while at Moody Bible Institue, I quit one semester short of graduating. The reason was this: A fellow-student and I had befriended a derelict on skid row. Over a period of time, we would take him into a restaurant for a meal and listen to him tell us about his life - or former life. After a while, my friend and I wanted to do something with him besides eat. His coordination was shot so we couldn't take him roller skating or even bowling. So one night we took him to see the movie "Around the World in 80 Days". While sitting in the theater, I realized that there was something wrong with this picture. Here we were, helping this friend and basically "doing a loving act", yet had my friend and I been caught in the movie theater, we would have been kicked out of Moody. (Movies weren't allowed along with smoking and drinking or even putting your arm around your date as you ushered her through an open door.) I realized that these people who preach love, don't know what love is. They won't befriend or even associate with an unbeliever unless they are trying to convert them. And that isn't love. So that was one of many realizations that I had that any religion that couldn't truly love, was apostate.
By the way, I'm familiar with the Lutheran Missouri Synod but not WELS. My background was actually independent Baptist.
I hope both you and your Dad are all right after Thanksgiving.
If you would like to continue a more personal exchange, please feel free to e-mail me at David.Kimball@att.net
Comments are closed.