January 9, 2009
-
Lukewarm Links
Well this is my usual Thursday night post. The problem with it being this late is that last night I totally crashed. I was watching some Iron Chef Japan around 10:30 and the next thing I know it's 3 AM and Vince is trying to get me to buy a Sham Wow because the Germans make Sham Wow and we all know that the Germans make great products. I shut the tv off and go to bed. I slept and I slept. I guess the stress of not knowing what is wrong with my health caught up to me as well as the stress of my dad going back in the hospital because he is having infections all over his legs. Since he went in last night until this evening, he's lost 16 pounds of fluid. It doesn't end. Well I have decided to post this week's set of links.
A friend of mine over at the micepace posted this link on his blog. Of course it was dealing with Christmas shopping but maybe you have someone's birthday coming up. I am sure you can find a lot of great presents over at the American Civil Defense Association catalog. My birthday is coming up in a bit and all I want now is a skin stapler available on that site.
My friend over at micespace also found this article about how evil Walmart is. It's from The Isthmus which out of Madison, WI. If you don't know, it gets cold around Christmas time in Wisconsin. I think this year the highs were below zero near that holiday. So when Walmart tells the bell ringers of the Salvation Army that they can't be inside, well that just tans my hide. I hate Walmart but it is so therapeutic. Best line from the article: "For a store that pretty much survives on the backs of struggling people, this corporate policy seems kind of cruel."
A story about a cat stuck in a tree becomes controversial. I want to say, Et tu, Brute but I was was reminded the cat's name is Brutis and that wouldn't work for the Latin language. Would it be Brutae? I know it wouldn't be Brutaeorum.
A while back I posted a video claiming to be from the tourism department of Milwaukee. I have been to Milwaukee and even I knew that it was nothing to do with Milwaukee. Now there are more clues about this video popping up all over the place. This is the wiki page about This is My Milwaukee. The most recent piece of this puzzle was a strange piece of paper left in a cafe in San Fransisco which is supposedly tied to this promotion or whatever you call it.
Have you ever thought about what are some of the greatest producers of greenhouse gases that are destroying our environment and leading to global warming? I bet you could never guess that farting cows are a huge contributor but they are and now cows are going to be possibly taxed because they fart.
Have you wondered why we are only seeing footage from the Israeli side of the recent Gazan/Israeli conflict? Well it's because Israel has banned foreign reporters from entering Gaza. Well Al Jazeera has gotten past that ban and has some incredible footage.
Have you ever wondered what people did for wiping before the advent of toilet paper? Well I found this article on the topic. Here I thought all those times my dad joked about corncobs in the outhouse were some sort of sexual joke. Apparently not...
Have you ever wondered how many horns a unicorn has? Well thanks to Google calculator you have your answer.
I have often said that people who collect dolls tend to be a little "off". Well I came across this site of a doll maker who makes celebrity lookalike dolls. The Golden Girls? Carrie? My god...those are creepy but not as creepy as the prices.
The Louisville Free Face guy is back. Um...I can't help but say I am intrigued as to the possibilities of starting my own site like that however I don't think I could get the clientele. First off, the Amish do not have the internet so I'd be at a loss there.Here's a little trick to make every website you visit look delicious. Let's try it with mine.
I am trying to remember what I was like when I was 6. I think all I wanted to do was collect Matchbox and Hot Wheels and G.I. Joes and baseball cards not run off to Africa with a girl in order to get married.
From time to time I enjoy Stephen Colbert. Here we see him imitating the infamous Bellow Really tirade.
My god! The Incredible Hulk actually exists and he wants blow up dolls. I don't want to know the DNA evidence they collected from the scene of the crime.
Ladies, if you're worried that your butt is a little too big, don't worry. It's healthy. Freddie Mercury knew what he was singing about.
OK, I think Reuters got duped here because I always heard this as a Polish joke when I was a high schooler.
This story makes me enjoy not having children or haven't babysat since my misadventure with Bambi. Want to know about Bambi, contact me.
Ladies, I already talked about butts so I might as well cover the chest. Hmmm...that may sound like some innuendo there but it isn't. A Japanese company is claiming they have a cookie that when eaten will make your breasts grow larger and they call the cookie, the F-Cup. In case the comments aren't there, someone left a comment that says "I bet they go well with...milk...mwahahh Maybe a couple of JUGS of it? heheh"
In my last Lukewarm Links entry I had a link to a site that claimed 2008 was the gayest year on record. Well, this week I bring you another site that makes a high claim for 2008. 2008 was the greatest year for men humping inanimate objects. Strange thing about that list is that I think I posted 3 of those stories before.
I am glad I never had to make a Course Evaluation paper for my students. When I had to fill those out in college, I was really blunt and wrote with my opposite hand so they could never tell it was me. Thank you Lord for making me ambidextrous. This evaluation or grade change form is hilarious.
Supposedly the xenophobic, neo-con masturbation fantasy 24 is coming back for its season premier and this site has a little game to describe 24 in 24 words. Is that show still in real time? I think I have only seen one episode.
Last time I found the Black Bird web browser and wondered if it was real or a joke. I think that it must be a joke since this week I found the White Bird Browser.
Did you play with Barbies growing up? Well it turns out that the creator was a total perv.
I know some of you are going to have a couple of drinks this evening and if you are, try something new or something exotic. If you can't drink but want to learn something about cocktails, try this site out. Also if those two drinks aren't your style, here's a site with a few hundred drink recipes, enjoy!
Well that is it for this week. I will be back later with my celebrity round up.
Comments (20)
I'm sorry about your dad, hope he gets better soon.
Good that you got some rest!
What is a Sham Wow? Okay, going back to reading and clicking your links.
lol I recommended your site because of its "delicious look". Where do you find such stuff?!
@nattata -
Thank you. I don't know when my dad will get home but 16 pounds in one day is quite a bit. ShamWow is a special towel. Here is the site complete with the commercial I was talking about: Vince Explains ShamWow
Great first cocktail, I bet it's yummy!
@godfatherofgreenbay - lol It's always entertaining how they try to make usual stuff exciting. A while ago I caught myself watching for a long time something about kitchen tools that cut vegetables in nice shapes (presented as if they had invented the first knife lol). Such stuff fills your kitchen, does tricks you never need but it's still so fascinating.
@nattata -
I find the links on comedy sites and also when I can't sleep I just surf around the web looking for random stuff and some of my friends send me links.
Really, Free Face guy? Wow...
@spicyhotcoffee -
It's sort of creepy isn't it but it always makes me wonder if he gets ladies contacting him for some fun.
@nattata -
I think my favorite one was this chopper where you put something in and chop it into perfect cubes. I was sort out of it and I ended up ordering it because the commercial was so funny. I also have one of those pocket fishermen which worked until I tangled with some large fish.
@nattata -
I was actually planning on trying that first cocktail later but I don't have any coconut rum so I will experiment with spiced rum and then regular rum.
Hey, in reference to the last part, check out http://www.webtender.com
it's a great site for drinks and drinking games, and even more
THIS ISN"T SPAM =]
@geegooman2323 -
I will have to check that one out. I usually use The Bar, Shot Drinks, and Super Cocktails for my drinks and Drinking Decks for my drinking games. I didn't list them all because I didn't want people to think I had a problem or something like that.
Okay, I'll bite. What's the story with Bambi?
Women can eat my cookies any time, and I'll see that their breasts either enlarge or at least get erect.
The story of the Polish man reminds me of this story of three American guys in a bar. Man 1 says that this is pretty good. You buy three drinks and you get the fourth dring free. Man 2 says that's nothing. He knows of a place where you can buy only 2 drinks and get the third one free. Man 3 then says he's heard of a place where every drink is free and not only that, but every time you go, you get laid. Men 1 and 2 get all excited about the prospect of going to that bar and ask him where it is. Man 3 says he doesn't know - his wife won't tell him.
That ShamWow commercial is mezmerizing. Whenever I forget to hit the forward button on my old TiVo knockoff and accidentally catch that commercial, I just can't stop watching it. Things flick through my head like "Do those women know how unconvincing they sound?" and "Of course the camera guy is following him... he's moving a whole four inches" (that's my favorite line in the whole commercial... yes, it has such a grip on me that I have a favorite line...) and "My car is German, and I like it, but what the hell does that have to do with shammies?" and "Does that whole 'if you order in the next 20 minutes' line actually work on people? Do they not realize this ad runs all the time and they have no way of knowing when you saw it?" and such.
Many people would say that this is evidence that the commercial has worked (because I remember it) but honestly, despite the fact that it's strangely my favorite commercial because of its ridiculousness, I haven't even a small desire of picking up that phone and dialing now.
@ithiliya -
I think I mentioned this but sometimes if I have had too much to drink those ads can get me to buy stuff. I once purchased a Vidalia chopper and then that pasta cooker for the microwave. That must make it sound like I am alcoholic. The line that always gets me with the ShamWow is the whole German line. Isn't that a derogatory comment, sort of stereotypical?
I am freaked out by current commercials because they just seem so absurd especially those Geico commercials. I think the more absurd the commercial the better the product sells. we're just getting closer to what the movie Idiocracy predicts.
@godfatherofgreenbay - "we're just getting closer to what the movie Idiocracy predicts."
You're not jokin'.
Well, I think the German line is stereotypical, but not derogatory. They're trying to say Germans make good stuff. Of course, what do they make besides cars and beer steins? I don't know...
I've bought some pretty stupid stuff in my time, but I've never bought any of those informercial things. Not because I'm not that weak (I do love to spend money) but because I have a TiVo thing and can skip commercials.
My mom used to buy nearly everything she owned from QVC, and god were most of those things horrible. When I was complaining once about how I couldn't find a jewelry box around here (why do they only sell them during Christmas time?) she sent me an old one of hers just loaded with crappy QVC jewelry that looked like it had never been worn. It still hasn't, for the record 
One thing about commercials: I don't think I've ever bought anything because of a good ad (the funniest were the Snickers ones for me, but I think my Snickers purchasing has actually decreased) but I HAVE refused to purchase from a particular store because of shitty commercials. That store was Gap. To this day, I refused to walk into a Gap, and just the thought of their commercials makes me want to vomit.
@ithiliya -
This will sound strange but I wonder if Snickers is feeling the effects from that one commercial with the two guys eating the Snickers from each end and then they end up kissing and then starting saying how gross that is. I did know people that said they were going to boycott Snickers but I didn't think that it would last because of the deliciousness of a Snickers bar.
@curiousdwk -
Oh sorry about not replying sooner. The Bambi thing...I was babysitting a young cousin and he refused to go to bed for me. I asked what he wanted to do and he said he wanted to watch a movie so I gave in thinking he would fall asleep during the movie. He picked Bambi. I had never seen that movie so I agreed. Well Bambi's mom dies and he starts crying and asks me, "Why did Bambi's mom die?" I looked at him in all seriousness and said, "Because Bambi didn't go to bed when Bambi was told to go to bed." He ran up the stairs and went to sleep. Apparently his parents have never had to fight with him over bedtime since and that was something like 10 years ago. That is probably why I shouldn't have kids.
Love that joke.
@godfatherofgreenbay - I love the Bambi joke also. Although maybe you just showed why you should have kids where many, many, many others I know should not have had kids.
@godfatherofgreenbay - *LOL* I have no idea... personally, I thought the commercial was freakin' hilarious. I think those in the GLBT community who were mad about it misunderstood it... the commercial wasn't picking on gays, it was picking on bigotted morons! I mean, c'mon... the guy was so insecure about his own sexuality/manliness that he ripped his chest hairs off (or in an alternate version, slammed his head in the hood of the car) to prove he was a man! *LOL* To be fair, though, I guess a lot of people (who might rip off their own chest hairs were they in the same situation) would misconstrue it as an anti-gay message, that gays are so icky that just the thought of them should send you into fits.
Comments are closed.