March 10, 2009
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Stuff
So I am not doing the power rankings tonight because I was going to unveil my tournament, my feeble tribute to March Madness. I have yet to find a website that will host online voting or polls. I actually haven’t been looking because I am wondering if people would vote in this tournament. Oh yeah, did I mention that you, my faithful readers, determine the outcome of each match-up? Yes, it is a grand-scale effort. I have 4 brackets, 64 entrants, and a round-table discussion group to analyze match-ups.
One reason why I haven’t done the work is that I am not feeling my best so that is why you got a survey earlier. Also I am trying to erase from my memory a conversation my dad had with me yesterday. I was eating lunch with my parents and enjoying some Salisbury Steak and freshly baked bread. It was quiet. It was spitting ice and snow. My dad blurts out, “My balls are really swollen.” Apparently that is a problem he has been having with his kidney failure. I stop eating and set my utensils down. He asks, “Have your balls ever been swollen?” GOD! I wasn’t about to discuss my nether region with my father especially not with my mother in the room. He then goes on and on about all his ball problems…I lost my appetite and have been hearing that phrase, “My balls are really swollen,” over and over in my mind.
I should have said, “Yes, dad, my balls have been swollen but not since high school when I played football and one day I forgot to pack my cup with the rest of my gear and I got a knee in my groin. It was excruciating pain. My balls turned into grapefruits. I couldn’t wear jeans because when I sat down the enormity of my fun bag put too much strain on my pants and they ripped. Yes, dad, my balls were so swollen that they caused me to split my pants in the crotch. Did I quit playing football? Well just that day. I went out and bought an extra cup so I would never forget to protect my balls. The sad thing is, dad, that my balls were still swollen the next day so I had to wear sweat pants to school and then when it came time for practice I had to wear two cups because my original cup floweth over. Yes, dad, my balls have been swollen so can I enjoy this wonderful meal and stop talking about balls.”
Now if only I had the…balls…to actually say that.Anyway, if I can get the voting stuff set up, the first two brackets will be up tomorrow. I’m going to go unwind and try to sleep.
Comments (5)
hhhmm your convo with your dad reminds me about my weird convos with my mom and lil sis haha so hilarious…
@tweeny_tear -
Yeah it was so weird. He does bring up strange things and I sometimes don’t want to be around him because of his weird conversation habits. Like one time he found out I was dating this one girl and he starts asking me if I used protection and all that. Then he found her phone number and called her up one morning after she had worked a night shift and started asking her about me and what we did. OH I was furious.
hahahah. that would have been fantastic to tell your father that.
@abcxunt -
I am still trying to figure out why he thought it was appropriate to mention balls at lunch. I will never understand my parents.
@godfatherofgreenbay -
maybe it was just on his mind. sometimes you don’t realize you’re talking out loud until too late.