May 1, 2009

• Lukewarm Links

  So here I am, swine flu free.  Yesterday I didn't do my regular post, Questions with the Godfather and his Cock.  My helper with that post, Cocky, has been up to his regular self lately.  I tried to wake him up last night but no matter how much I shook him he would get up.  I think he has been taking some medicine lately that has made him quite fatigued.  I wish I had some medicine for him that a half hour after giving it to him he would be up and ready to go but no such luck.  HAHAHAHA Innuendo!  Don't worry, he'll be back next week.

  This evening I went with my mom to the airport in Madison to pick up my aunt who was visiting North Carolina this week.  My mom has been a nurse for 30+ years and she has totally bought into this swine flu craze.  She reminded me to bring my hand sanitizer, she was constantly reminding me to wash my hands and then to use my hand sanitizer.  That really took me back to the days when I was 5.  We ate at McDonald's which was the first time in ages for me.  I have to admit, I miss the Big Mac.  We then get to the airport and walk in.  I barely recognized it because everything had been remodeled since the last time I was there.  They had a family waiting lounge with high quality leather seats...too bad Richardo Montalbon wasn't there to tell if they were fine Corinthian leather or not.  After 2 minutes my ADD kicked in so I went over to the "market".  I walked in to look at their magazines.  THEY HAD HUSTLER!  How the hell are you going to have Hustler in an airport?  Am I supposed to buy it and then rub one out while waiting for my aunt's plane to depart?  I had to admit they had quite the selection of pornography.  I looked through the marked up books.  One copy of Twilight cost $10 and another was $15 but upon inspection they were the same damn thing.  I was also disappointed to see that the Madison airport no longer had a Cheesehead store...fucking economy!  I was also pleased to see that the swine flu hysteria was in full effect at the airport.  Every ten yards they had a hand sanitizer station.  Anyway back in the lounge I kick back with a free issue of The Onion and to listen to my mp3 player.  My squidbilly themes came up and not realizing I was in public I started singing along with this:
  

  My mom poked me and told me to shut up.  She should be thankful I wasn't singing along to this:
  

  This song may have been adequate in Madison:
  

  Then I watched as people came down the escalator to meet the people waiting for them.  I was sort of taken back.  I wished I could have been this guy and my girlfriend was coming to see me and she ran down the escalator almost knocking over an old lady to run and hug him and then after the obligatory greetings she says quite loudly, "Take me home so I can get that dick inside me."  True story.
  We got my aunt to the car and then stopped near home at Culver's for some wonderful frozen custard.  Now I am at home with two cats staring at me while I type.  sorry for wasting your time, here are the links:

  Have you ever seen a commercial on the TV that was so bad because it insisted upon itself to an extermely high degree?  Well here are 7 of the worst.  I love how the Apple Computer ad is on the list.  I have seen lists where that is voted as the best commercial of all time...the lsit must have been compiled by a Mac user.

  If you have followed my blog for some time, you would know that I have a deep disdain for Scientology.  Hell, I once even published my class notes on the pseudo-religion which were "borrowed" by a pastor that I know for his Bible class...I need to copyright that stuff...Anyway, the charlatan that is L. Ron Hubbard was a great liar and here are five of his most impressive lies.  So why do people give millions upon millions of dollars to that "church"?  Oh yeah, they're bat-shit crazy like Tom Cruise.

  Have you ever found yourself watching a movie and realized that the evil character had really crappy workers and if they actually did their job the evil guy might win?  Well here are 6 evil henchmen who sucked at their job.  I love that they had the Cobra guys on the list.  I remember watching that show as a kid and my dad made the comment, "The blue guys are the worst shots in history."  I wish they would have had a shout out to the 80s ninja movies when the black ninjas would circle around the good guy and then attack ONE AT A TIME!

  SWINE FLU SECTION:  If you are a map dork like me then you will enjoy this, Google maps has a map to see where all the reported cases are located.  Two of the games I have been playing are sort of swine flu related.  First, we have Swine Flu Sneeze!  The object is to sneeze on people and get others infected.  The next game is Pandemic and though it is not about swine flu it simulates the spread of an illness which you get to create.  Finally here is a website that will tell you if you ahve the swine flu.

  While the world is going into hysteria over the swine flu, two stories have scared the shit out of me.  These two stories have told me that the future in the Terminator series is more fact than fiction.  First, tehy have designed a computer that will take on contestants at Jeopardy!  Second, this story just goes to show that artificial intelligence is poised to take out mankind.  Forget swine flu, start panicing about robots and computers!

  I found a fun quiz over at Mental Floss: Ben & Jerry's Flavor or Pottery Barn Paint Color?  I didn't do so well on that quiz.  It's not like I hang out at the Ben & Jerry's store that often.

  Have you seen those new Cheetos commercials with the huge Cheetos?  Well this guy somehow got one and decided to eat it over one of the most expensive keyboards on the market.

  This game, When the Bomb Goes Off, is a cute little game in which you have 5 seconds to do random tasks.  It sort of reminds me of the Wario game cube game.

  They have crazy game shows in Japan.  I don't speak Japanese but I gather the point of this game is to not ram the boobs or you will get an electric shock.

  You know, I was just talking about the programs on the History Channel and how if I wanted some real history I had to watch real early in the morning or catch the History International Channel.  This program pie chart is pretty accurate.
  
  Bill gives us a pretty accurate guide to the internet.

  Forget swine flu...why am I not seeing this story plastered all over the network news?

  DAMN IT!  THE COMMIES NOW HAVE BATMAN!

  Remember Teletubbies?  This guy likes them a little too much...wait Teletubbies kick ass!

  So sometimes it is fun to go online and brag about your sex life but never brag about your video game system while bragging about your sex life.  Oh just read it.  By the way the rest of the site is pretty funny as well.

  Blog of the Week:  Awkward Boners.  Good thing I never had a photo taken of me while I was giving speeches in high school. Also, I'm thankful I had a podium in front of me.  High stress situations...why can't Cocky have been under stress this week...maybe that is why he is fatigued.

  Comedian Paul Scheer has decided to share with us his favorite items from the Michael Jackson auction.  Too bad I think they canceled that.

  Thanks to B-Money, I now know that I can combine vodka with gummi bears or gummi worms....SUMMER IS GOING TO ROCK!  Skittle vodka+vodka gummi worms=a FUN godfatherofgreenbay!

  I have been thinking of a possible topic for my master's program when I get there to do a study on the long term effects of putting children on a leash.  This is so demeaning.  If my parents put me on a leash when I was a child, it would look a little something like this:
  

  Sorry about this being so long, brevity is my enemy.  I am debating about my Celebrity Round Up.  Those applications have kept me busy and I haven't had time to research.  Well I probably won't sleep tonight because I am too worried about the computers and robots taking over the world.

  • 2:34 AM
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