May 8, 2009
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Lukewarm Links
Sorry about not getting this out last night but I was in a funk. I just felt down all day. I don't know what it was. Maybe with all the trees and flowers blossoming, my allergies and asthma are in full swing. It could have been that I went to three shops yesterday looking for this new Pepsi called Throwback and the reason why it is a throwback is that it contains natural sugar which Pepsi did back in the day. I'm convinced that all these artificial sweeteners are what is leading to America's problem with obesity and diabetes but I am not a doctor. Well here are the links.
Celebrities are some very interesting people. They live in the spotlight and sometimes that spotlight catches them doing something illegal or disgusting. Well of course to save face, they have to apologize. One wonders if they are truly sorry. Well here are 6 of the most insincere apologies from celebrities. I wonder how many of these people have actually had a career since they apologized.
Celebrities are like us. They have sex and because they are constantly in front of the cameras they bring those cameras into the bedroom. Well here are 10 celebrity sex tapes that people didn't want to see. Bret Michaels made the list. I am surprised that he hasn't had more sex tapes come out with all the reality series that he has been in constantly filming his every action.
Celebrities also have causes. One of the new causes that everyone seems to be jumping on is the green movement. Celebrities aren't always the brightest and here are the 7 strangest ways in which they try to go green. I am still shocked at Sheryl Crow's suggestion. There is no way I ever want to go near her.
Games: This first game is probably one of my favorite, Pick the Perp. Follow the directions and you will have fun. Mr. Mullet, I had to include this game because they have been advertising it on Adult Swim. Mental Floss gives us quiz: Doogie Howser's Diary or Twitter update. So maybe this isn't a game but it's fun, Drink Wheel, find out how much you can drink and still be considered sober. This German game is called Home Run. Use your mouse to keep the drunk upright and walking home.
I have always wanted to get into journalism because of the horrible editing I have seen in some papers. Here are 12 unintentionally funny sports headlines. Some of those couldn't be saved with editing. I will probably never work in a foriegn market but if I did I would try to avoid misinterpretations of product slogans. Also if I was a journalist I would pray to God that I wouldn't have to work for the Kansas City Royals because the only excitement that comes from their games is interviewing celebrities in the stands. Too bad the celebrities aren't real but just a look alike.
Guys...here is a list of movies that when watched will make your penis smaller. Also, if you say these movie quotes, it will make your penis smaller. Also, guys, if you go out to the strip clubs, don't have your picture taken and then post it on facebook. Thanks to Kachino for that site. And if you are going to look at porn, don't do it on your roommate's computer. He'll just find out how pathetic you are.
This swine flu is still causing people to be insane although it isn't as bad as what I thought it would be. Swine flu has caused people to become artistic. See what I mean here. I read this article and thought it was real and then I think I read from some of the "patriotic" Xangas about this. It's fake. I thought this article was fake but it wasn't. Those nutty Muslim countries! Oh and just when you thought it was safe to go outside, we have to worry about the WINE FLU. I think I have suffered from that a few times.
This isn't FML but it is truly an FML moment. I just think back to college and the numerous people I caught...ugh...speaking of college, I have often talked about the pranks that M.I.T. pulls. Here is a history of their pranks. Oh and I guess while I was talking about wanking, B-Money sent me this timeline of the male mastubatory life. And then thanks to suggestivetongue, I have this website promoting abstinence only. Make sure you check out the anal abstinence page.
Here's a fun little picture site of some apartment complexes in Vancouver. I haven't been able to find anyone doing any sexy times. It's amazing how advanced technology is.Have you ever thought of planning a vacation and wondering how you could get to your destination? Don't use Google Maps. They give some bad travel tips....look at how one is to cross the Pacific. Speaking of Google, sometimes when you ask it a question, Google can be very deep.
So I am quite anxious for the new live action G.I. Joe movie. This makes me want to see it all the more.
Religion News: Apparently when the Mormon missionaries aren't calling me or making visits to my house, they are producing calendars. And of course the Mormon moms have entered the calendar business. I wonder what Joseph Smith and Brigham Young would think. Oh and speaking of church fathers, after reading this article, I imagined Martin Luther standing in heaven with the biggest grin on his face. Of course he was probably estatic that a fellow German is the pope. You know what, us Germans need to stick together. Porn stars are an interesting lot. Here are 10 porn stars that quit because they became Christian. I find the woman named Houston interesting. She bangs 620 guys in one setting and then becomes a Christian. They do say that God works in mysterious ways.
They certainly do have a unique way of swearing in Australia....FUCK MUPPETS!
Want to see a visual of how much sugar is in that drink you jsut had to have? Well this site will show you how many sugar cubes are in your beverage.
This new blog is fun. You give three reasons why your ex sucks. I can't believe some of the things people say about their ex and some of those things makes me happy that I am single. Actually I'm not. I am thinking of trying out this answer to eHArmony but for people in jail...Conjugal Harmony.
WTF...do you need a cover for your cellphone? How about making it a giant foam banana? Seriously.
Prom season is upon us. Don't make the mistakes these people made.
A while back a certain racist against white people wrote about how Segways were douchebaggery. Why must she oppress the Segway community. Now if those Segway owners showed up at her house with light sabers...TOTAL BADASSERY!
You know how people use tinyurl to make their urls smaller to fit in the xanga pulse or twitter? Well I say a pox on that. I use Dicken's URL to make my links read like they were written by Charles Dickens. Here's a sample using my xanga page.
A while back I posted a link to an Amazon review of milk. Well I thought that was the coolest until I read this review of a Wolf T-Shirt and then I thought it couldn't get any cooler but then I saw the reviews for a Sea Cow t-shirt. I need to buy these shirts!
Here are some examples from Twitter of things you probably shouldn't say on Twitter.
As if my entries weren't time consuming enough, here's a site that shows the email communication between a scammer and a scam baiter. That is hilarious stuff. I am going to start trying that.
I think it was last week when I posted a link to some creepy insistent commercial and nattata informed me that the people who compiled the list hadn't seen German television. I have proof that German television is quite different.
I have talked about writing my autobiography. I am going to have some major competition if these celebrities release their autobiographies.
I haven't hid the fact that I admire Quentin Tarantino's movies. He injects some great music into his movies to match the excellent dialogue. Here is a mixtape of his music and dialogue.
Yeah...a muscle massager...read the first review.
Remember your first dictionary? I do. It was just a few words for each letter with a picture showing the word. I iwsh I had this for my first dictionary.
I have watched a lot of gory and gruesome Asian horror movies. Now I have witnessed how the Asian gore from movies has overtaken their bakeries.
WHAT! FOX NEWS MANIPULATES VIDEOS TO MAKE IT SOUND LIKE PEOPLE SAY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT THEY ACTUALLY SAY?!!?!?!?! Oh yeah, FOX News of course they do, no surprise. I was shocked that they might have gained standards.
Well that is it for this week. If you have a link for me, email it. I'll be back for my celebrity round up.
Comments (20)
-Giambi! LOL, everybody knew he was juiced. I still remember seeing him play and he was slim at his beginnings...
Fun game...
-LOL @ celebrities "trying" to go green...
-Man, I suck at Pick the Perp game... I guess I'm not really good at judging people based on their appearance
-Mr. Mullet, are you talking about Jared Allen?
-51 meters in my 4th try...
-LMAO at the sports headlines!
-"Nothing Sucks like an Electrolux.","Are You Lactating?" & "Happiness in the Mouth."
-Well I'm glad I've never watched those movies
-Who's Kachino? He's sounds so awesome
-Wine flu? What's next? Ine flu?
Where is this racist!? I demand a link! Let everyone go to her site and call her names! *grabs a torch* Great links, btw
@kachino -
Yeah I was shocked to hear that people were surprised that Giambi did steroids.
Oh I saw that mullet on Jared Allen while watching NFL Network last night and I could not stop laughing.
Oh and don't watch those movies or say those quotes. It will hurt you in the...long run.
@SucioFuego -
Well she got plenty of trouble a couple weeks ago so we will let her recover.
@godfatherofgreenbay -
Psh. Weak sauce. And this B-money needs a link too. Discussing wanking? Tsk, tsk, tsk.
@SucioFuego -
OK, I will post links of this racist and B-Money my next lukewarm links if said racist and B-Money give me links.
@godfatherofgreenbay -
Psh. That racist coward won't!
@SucioFuego -
Well I will just go check my email to prove you wrong.
Again with the hotness: Giambi is effin' HOT!! MMM...daddy! You are baaad! C'mere...mama's got a little somethin for YOU!!!!!
As is Alec "I have made an ass of myself.." Baldwin. Mmmm. I would DO him, hypertrichosis and ALLL, baby!
Holy SHITE! I just pissed myself laughing at this: "Paris Hilton is one of the least attractive famous people I can think of. On a scale of Gary Busey to Salma Hayek, I put her just below Steve Buscemi." LMAO!
" The only thing they did that deserved complimenting was not hurting each other with Tommy Lee's gigantic bone." el em ayo!
OMG: "Her husband looks like an Auto Zone manager."
" After watching this video, I am absolutely certain that given enough money, this woman would eat a turd."
LMAO...ok, yes, I'm impaired...or is it ENHANCED? Mmm-Hmm! But seriously...this "John Cheese" is making me QUIVER!
FUNNY is the new BIG DICK.
"Zack Morris can eat my shit."
*laughing out loud*
Fred Durst is sexy. I DO want to see that sex tape!
@godfatherofgreenbay -
Yeah, IIRC, Allen had a skullet during the season. That was honestly one ugly hair cut...
@Another_Perfect_Wonder -
See I love those cracked.com articles. I'd be afraid to get near Giambi with his steroid abuse. When I was on a legal form last year I suffered from horrible rage. I couldn't drive for most of the summer because the effects remained in my system. I have so much respect for Baldwin as an actor and a political mind. He can be quite an ass but hey he has made millions. And you know that guy is so true about Paris. I don't find her attractive. Maybe it is her whorish nature or her rotten personality or her creepy face. I can't stand her. I can't believe Screech actually made money off a sex tape. Fred Durst...saw it, wasn't impressed. If funny is the new big dick..well that is why I strive to be hilarious.
WOW! I wish I had a stylish banana to speak into! And for prom, I think I was one of the few girls that didnt dress in some pageant knock off covered in a billion rhinestones. Even so, I looked like I sprang out of the 1940's. I didnt have a date either... I went with a troupe of people and afterwards we all got stoned. It was fantastic!
And didnt you know "muscle massagers" is the new term now. You dont buy a vibraating dildo... how crass... you get a "tension releaser".
@theladyofabundance -
The more I see that banana phone cover the more I think of all the fun I could have with it. I could get a sultry 1940s style vixen ala Mae West to hu me and say in said sultry voice, "What? Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" And then I could pull out the banana phone and go into a Groucho Marx style routine.
My prom...well my private school didn't have one. We had a junior/senior/faculty banquet. It was just a lame circle jerk. I didn't go partly because my girlfriend at the time didn't go to my high school so she was forbidden from attending. I think half my class didn't show up. It was somewhat of a cool deal because it the banquet was on a Mississippi river paddle boat. My friends and I canoed out to some of the islands in the river and got drunk and stoned.
I am so crass. I remember buying wrestling magazines and comic books as a kid and they had these ads with a lady in a bathrobe holding what was called a muscle massager. She held against her face and had this smile on her face. ALl these years later I finally realize what they were selling.
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