May 23, 2009

• Help Wanted: Fact Checker

  This is from a Detroit news station. 
  
  I wonder if anyone got fired for that.  I can't wait for Mrs. Eaton Beaver and her husband Dick N. Beaver announce the birthday of their daughter Anita Beaver.
  

  OK so I am beat.  Last night I was planning on going to an Amish greenhouse with my mom to look at plants.  Well we got there and a sign said closed.  Then my mom goes, "OH DUH!  Thursdays are the days when the Amish get married."  So then we went to this other greenhouse down the road.  They had all sorts of flowers and trees.  I tried to convince my mom to buy some grape vines but she said I was "stupid".  I am an only child for a reason.  I went nuts picking out tomatoes and peppers.  I got all these black Russian tomatoes and then some Cherokee Purples.  I have no clue what that means for tomatoes but the descriptions in the greenhouse sounded pretty tasty.  I also picked up some Anaheim peppers, Chinese peppers, Jalapenos, habanaeros, and green peppers.  I also am going to try to grow onions this year so with my black Russian tomatoes and habanaeros, I can make some kick ass salsa.  Oh and pickles, I'm going to grow lots of pickles.  My mom had to stock up on ground cherries.  I was also tempted to try to grow watermelons but I don't know if my little garden is big enough to handle watermelons.  

  I got home and was tired but couldn't sleep so I did some writing and reading but that didn't do much.  I think I finally got to bed around 2AM and I got about 3 hours of sleep because today was the last day of school for the seniors in this town.  They have this strange tradition that on the last day of school for seniors(graduation in this town is always the Friday of Memorial Day weekend) where they go around town honking their car horns at 5AM.  My town is only about 1300 people so you can hear this pack of high school kids celebrating their new-found independence.  The honking startled my cats and they started attacking each other.  I was up.  I had to stay up because I took my dad to the doctor's in La Crosse.  That was a fun trip through Amish country.  I swear one of these days I am going to try to get pictures of these communities but they don't like being photographed and I am worried about a pitchfork in my no-no places.  My mom had to take today off so she went with us.  The hospital where she works is cutting hours so I don't know how this works but my mom had a surprise vacation day today. 

  Apparently my dad's kidneys are holding steady at their current functioning rate.  So after, they wanted to go shopping but the specific stores they wanted to go to were on the other side of the town/city.  My mom had to hit up a Dollar Tree.  I admit it, I go there for my shampoo and other stuff.  $1 a bottle of shampoo, yes, I am frugal but not with my Citronen vodka, cherry schnapps, and lemonade drinks.  You know what I am talking about Croat!  I have yet to be able to top that bar tab. 

  Then my mom wanted to go to Walmart.  I bought myself a paper shredder because I have a stack of documents that is highly confidential or just old...whichever.  I was walking down an aisle and saw a random bottle of Throwback Pepsi next to a video game chair.  I thought that was some sort of social commentary.  Then my jaw dropped....MOUNTAIN DEW THROWBACK!  I can't find that stuff anywhere and apparently the Pepsi bottling company in that town won't distribute the Throwbacks at Walmart.  I was upset but I had my paper shredder which will give me hours of mindless entertainment and the possiblity of having confetti at my next birthday. 

  My mom then suggested lunch but I was getting pissy because the place she suggested was back by the hospital.  UGH!  Oh well, it was quite excellent.  We went to a place called Pizza Doctors.  It is a medical themed restaurant.  The staff were all dressed in scrubs, the bathrooms were called Emergency Rooms, the forks were called forceps, the knives were called scalpels, and the soda(god that makes me feel dirty) fountain was wired so that it looked like it flowed through IV bags.  If you care, here is a website review of Pizza Doctors.  Also if you want to check out more of the medical themed madness check out there menu.  I went to high school in that town so every once in a while we went over there for the Exploratory Surgery buffet.  They just made random pizzas.  I remember one that didn't fly; it was a chili cheese hot dog pizza.  But the menu...yeah that is some crazy stuff.  The reason it has the medical theme is because there are three colleges with nursing programs, one of which my mom attended.

  Then on the way home I took my parents through the grand cities of Coon Valley and Westby.  Then back home through the Amish communities.
  You my remember a blog I did about Coon Valley...wait no, that was in one of my early posts.  I found this photo and had to talk about it.
  
  No not me.

  I finally get home and have peace and quiet.  I lay down and start to fall asleep.  BOOM!  Both my cats decided it would be best to sleep on top of me.  Then as the three of us started to fall asleep BANG BANG BANG!  MY STALKER!  He came over and started babbling that my dad said that he should see me and I would pay him for something with a drink.  I made him a drink and we talked and he left....I think he wanted me to cook for him because he kept dropping hints but I was filled from lunch.  I am back trying to sleep but my mom calls and says I need to get ready because she wants to go to that Amish greenhouse. 

  She picks me up and we head out there.  This place was disgusting.  I think they were using horse manure in the greenhouse itself either that or it was funky from all their BO from earlier this week when it was in the 90s.  Remember the Amish do not believe in glorifying the body so they do not wear deodorant.  I told my mom I couldn't stand much more and she agreed.  She thought the prices were high.  $7 for a single rosemary plant.  The only redeeming thing was that there was a smelly little Amish boy singing and of course being a snob or nerd or what have you, I sung along:

  Alle Vögel sind schon da,
  alle Vögel, alle!
  Welch ein Singen, Musiziern,
  Pfeifen, Zwitschern, Tireliern!
  Frühling will nun einmarschiern,
  kommt mit Sang und Schalle.
  Wie sie alle lustig sind,
  flink und froh sich regen!
  Amsel, Drossel, Fink und Star
  und die ganze Vogelschar
  wünschen dir ein frohes Jahr,
  lauter Heil und Segen.
  Was sie uns verkünden nun,
  nehmen wir zu Herzen:
  Wir auch wollen lustig sein,
  lustig wie die Vögelein,
  hier und dort, feldaus, feldein,
  singen, springen, scherzen.

  Then I threw a quarter at the kid's bare feet.  I don't think he understood what I was doing.  My mom looked at me and said, "You're probably going to hit me but lets go to that greenhouse last night."  She got the remaining plants she wanted and revealed to me that this place was cheaper than any other greenhouse she has been to.  I shook my head and asked why she hadn't thought about getting all her plants there to begin with.  "You never know what to expect at Walmart."  True, I didn't expect to hear a woman arguing over custody of her children with an estranged husband or walking down an aisle and being told I was a prime candidate to take a survey and sample a new Walmart brand hangover cure.  Yes, apparently I looked like I was hungover.  I asked the lady if I did the survey and took the stuff if they got me drunk first.  She said no and I just walked on by.

  I finally got home and tried to sleep.  No go.  I watched some basketball and messed around here on Xanga.  Now, I write and I tire.  Press save changes and off to bed for me.  Sorry to bore you, Celebrity Round Up tomorrow.

  • 2:09 AM
  • 18 Comments