May 28, 2009

• Xanga Drama...Again

  I originally wrote this post in December of 2008 when a popular blogger asked a question that went something like, "Who is your least favorite person on Xanga".  It created quite a stir.  I happened upon a book of Mormon devotions that touched on the subject.  At the time I was doing research for an ongoing project that I am still currently chipping away at but I thought the words rang true for the situation then as much as they do now.

  In a Period of Pressure
  It seems that most of us feel that we are living in a period of pressure-a pressure that seems to be felt at every level of life: the pressure of complexity, the pressure of anxiety, the pressure of responsibility, and the pressure of competition, which is perennial and ever-present-for whoever finds something bigger and better is going to find something still bigger and still better.

  And one result of pressure is is impatience-impatience with all of its side symptoms: quick judgment, quick temper, quick criticism-which are so often in evidence from person to person, both in private and in public places.

  We often aggravate and irritate each other.  We all have better days than others, and some that are worse; and times when we wish we hadn't been so sharp, times when we wish we hadn't been so selfish, times when we wish we hadn't been caustic and critical; times when we say some things we we wish we hadn't said and make decisions we wish we hadn't made-followed by times to ponder and times to repent.  And likely there never was a time within the limits of this life, when men individually or collectively couldn't find much to criticize, much to misjudge, much to misunderstand. 

  Even in families there may be much to misjudge.  Sometimes children are misjudged as to the real reasons for their times of temperament-and parents may be misjudged in the matter of alleged preferences in disturbing privileges and penalties.

  People are not perfect; they are not omniscient; they make mistakes-and simply have to do the best they can, with all the circumstances considered-which calls to mind, from Abraham Lincoln, a single significant sentence: "I do the very best I know how-the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so."  And this is a plea, in an age of pressure, in an age of impatience, in an age of anxiety, to be more understanding, more reserved in judgment, more willing to withhold criticism until we know more fully the facts-and to be a little more kindly and considerate in all relationships of life.

  The Lord God after all is the judge of all of us-and while the rest of us may reserve the tight to criticize, we ought always to do so with some awareness that we seldom know the full facts.

  Impatience: As a Mark of Immaturity
  A thoughtful physician once said: "I used to think of impatiences as simply a natural part of some people's personality, but over the years I have come to conclude that habitual impatience is a mark of immaturity."

  The pressures of life are on all of us at times, and often it would seem that these pressures are the cause of impatience.  But there is also something of a cycle- for as the pressures increase impatience, impatience increases the pressures-and impatience on the part of one person causes impatience on the part of other people.

  Tense nerves, caustic comments, blaring horns, and black looks, and sometimes bad language, are both symptoms and results of pressure and impatience, as we say things we shouldn't say, and do things for which we are soon sorry.

  Robert Browning wrote: "The thing I must pity in men is-action prompted by surprise of anger."  And Aristotle offered this observation: "Anybody can become angry- that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way-that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."

  Too many of us often are too touchy, too quick to retaliate, too quick to shoot back sharp replies.  True, there is pressure; there is competition; and often there are seriously pressing problems.  But impatience is seldom the answer-for the person who lives impatiently is himself increasingly uncomfortable and adds to the tension and tempers of everyone around him, and often creates serious hazards for himself and others also.

  The whole temper of the times suggests that we relax a little and give ourselves time to think fairly and judiciously before we jump to quick conclusions and lose our tempers and show our immaturity with rude utterance or ill-considered action.

  In the words of Peter, who had to learn the lesson of patience: "...make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love."  And finally, remember that petty and impetuous impatience is a mark of immaturity.

  These warring factions...please think about what you are doing for a second.  You may not think that there is any collateral damage from your words but there is.  I am getting sick of this shit.  These so called adults are attacking each worse than what I saw when I taught middle school.  My fucking 5th grade students showed more maturity than I have seen on Xanga in the past few days.  It has made me sick.  I'm sure I am not the only one.  I have thought about quitting this thing because it has deteriorated into nothing more than back and forth attacks.  I know that seems immature on my part but why do I and all the people who just want to blog have to be drawn into these nonsensical fights?  We want Xanga to thrive as a creative community and not to falter as a home of bickering.

  • 1:55 PM
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