July 2, 2009

• Lukewarm Links 4

  Here's another edition.  I don't know why but I sort of have a writer's block for my old Wednesday feature Questions with the Godfather and his Cock.  Maybe it is because I have had so many other things I am working on.  I forget when it was but after a few beers and trying to discuss conjoined twins with Skinny Wolf and the Croatian Sensation we all came up with a great idea for a tv show and I have been actually trying to work on it.  It's a modern day Honeymooners meets Todd Browning's Freaks.  I play the husband and I am married to conjoined twins.   I have also been working on world religions and I am never quite satisfied with that.  Of course then I am also writing down my autobiography as things come to me.  It's awesome when I have these memories sprout up while reading other people's blogs.  Well I am rambling.  Here be the links.

  #1.  Russian energy company, Gazprom, recently purchased Nigeria's state run oil and gas company.  What do you imagine they call this new joint venture?  If you guessed a racial slur then you guessed correctly.

  #2.  A while back there was a popular photo circulating the internet featuring a cat called Ceiling Cat.  Turns out Ceiling Cats actually do occur in nature and here is a harrowing story of how one guy rescued a ceiling cat.

  #3.  You know, CNN.COM can be very deceptive.  I was actually expecting a church where they used prostitutes to worship Christ.   So many world religions have used sex with prostitutes as a way to worship their deity.

  #4.  I am still not sold on getting my own Twitter.  I barely use the Xanga pulse and all Twitter is, is a glorified pulse.  Another reason I haven't gotten a Twitter is that people on Twitter can be quite naive.  Here is a list of fake news stories that went viral on Twitter.  I think recently, during all these celebrity deaths, someone reported on Twitter that Jeff Goldblum died and all the news agencies jumped on board.  I think some people at Twitter were using this site.

  #5.  For no reason, here's a list of the top 20 special needs characters in movies.  I was sort of upset that no one from The Ringer made the list.  One of my favorite movie quotes of all time comes from that movie and I love to randomly insert it into conversation..."WHEN THE FUCK DID WE GET ICE CREAM?"  Anyway, it's a good movie.

  #6.  This is a list of the 20 sexiest ugly people...bit of an oxymoron.  I don't get why Daisy made the list.  Maybe she is ugly because of all the plastic surgery. 

  #7.  The people over at Zug.com have given us some memorable pranks as well as experiments that have turned into pranks.  One of the recent experiments they did was trying the weightloss supplement Alli because of the warning of oily discharges and recommending that people have spare underwear and pants handy when on the supplement.  It's quite the funy experiment but not as funny as when he tried the "medicine" that increased the amount of semen released during ejaculation(damn I can't find it on the site now).  Then there was the Walmart prank which has inspired me to pull shenanigans every time I go to Leviathan.

  #8.  Are you in the market for a new house and either live in the Chicago area or are willing to relocate?  Well Cameron's house featured in Ferris Bueller's Day Off is listed for a low, low price of $2.3million.  I would buy it but I would probably get all depressed and then try to roll back the odometer on my dad's antique Porsche by putting it up on blocks and putting it in reverse but then my depression will get the best of me and I will kick the block and it will crash through the living room windows.

  #9.  The Improv Everywhere group is up to it again.  This time they gave spontaneous wedding receptions to people who got married at a courthouse.  That is such a clever idea.

  #10.  I am going to open the curtain and reveal a little bit about myself.  I enjoy old time blues as well as ragtime music.  Then I found this video of a piano player performing 80s songs in ragtime style.  I am thoroughly satisfied.

  #11.  Sometimes racism happens and it can be unintentional.  Well here is a list of tv scenes where the racism was intentionally unintentional. 

  #12.  The recent movie The Hangover may be based on a true story.

  #13.  Since Conan moved to his new slot, I have been holding on to this link featuring the best of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.  Is he on the new Conan?  How about the masturbating bear?  Or Pimp-Bot 3000?

  #14.  Here is a list of the worst lays in movies.  Some of them I understand but I wish there were explanations to go along with each photo. 

  #15.  I don't have kids and babies some times scare me.  I think it all goes back to my cousins.  One of my cousins was holding his younger brother and while he was holding him, the baby went into SIDS.  Thankfully he was revived because the next door neighbor was a fireman who just had training in this new fangled thing called CPR for infants.  Anyway, my cousin can't speak but he is alive.  So I fear holding babies.  I also fear dropping them.  So here's a blog, your baby is an asshole.

  And tomorrow I will have another entry like this one...lucky you!
  

  • 1:38 AM
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