August 12, 2009
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Motivation
The heat broke and I got sleep. It was so nice. The only bad part was that I had a strange dream. I was cleaning out the gutters on my house and then something caused my ladder to fall. I landed on my back and broke both of my clavicles. I felt pain in the dream. I woke myself out of the dream because I was feeling the pain. It turned out that I had both my cats sleeping on my shoulders. Then my next dream involved me meeting a Xanga. It was strange because I had no clue with whom I was talking. I saw things from the Xangan's eyes. Basically it was boring and just me talking. Then I ended up falling out of faith and enrolling at Notre Dame which makes absolutely no sense. As I was buying books I ran into a guy claiming he was the head football coach. It wasn't Charlie Weiss but it was Jeremy Piven. He asked me to join the team and I did. Oddly Notre Dame's facilities looked exactly like the locker room and weight room and fields of the high school where I taught and coached football. Well even though I am old by college football standards I played. I dominated but my knee problems caught up with me so they asked me to think about becoming a coach at one of their minor league teams. No clue. I ended up coaching at a Catholic high school and was pitted against my high school coach. It was a tied game and then with one second left he took a time out. I knew the play he was going to send in because it was the play that knocked us out of the playoffs in an undefeated season. I signaled in what they were running and the outcome was the same. One of our defensive backs intercepted a pass and took it 100 yards the other way for a touchdown. After the game the coach refused to shake my hand and accused me of cheating because I was on the field when he used that play and also was a Catholic. I woke up because I was laughing. Anyway here's your weekly dose of motivation:
Well there you have it. I feel motivated to share a story I wrote. It was originally a reply. There was a question of the day by a Xangan whose name I can't spell right now. Anyway, she asked where would you want to be if you could be anywhere. I answered: In someone's loving arms. She asked if I meant anyone specifically. Well I started writing a reply and it turned into a little story. Maybe I'll share it tomorrow.
Comments (34)
/palmface Oh, Dane Cook...
LOL Dane Cook and his loud noises that are supposed to be funny.
Is that porn in the background? Is that shemale watching hardcore porn? This one's for Mancouch.
Thanks. I especially like the "Real Americans" and the "sandwich maker".
Hilarious movivation stuff.
Somehow this post reminds me of Vanessa Hudgens. I'm sure we all know that her latest nude photos once again got leaked out to the public. But this time less of her hairy vagina. Hehe.
(applause) I hate to pry, but whose loving arms would you like to be in?
Mmmmm... Sandwich...
furst of all yer dreem AWESUM seea therapist asap hahahahahahahahahaha i lovd it sekundly dane cook stopid stoopid stoopid but i wud let him hav hiz way with me inna hartbeet hahahahahahahahaha dont ask me why im justa freek for loudmouthd str8 guyz im shur i need me sum therapy
Lots of creativity in your dream! lol
HA
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
The best thing ever.
LOL "You cheated! Catholic!"
i wonder who you were talking to in your dream. i find myself talking when i wake up as well. although most of the time i couldn't tell you who or what i was saying. i usually like those kind of dreams though.
last night i was dreaming i was driving beside many waterfalls and rivers.
If my cat were sleeping anywhere on me I'd freak. Because you are Catholic!? Lol! My favorite is the Chapman poster! Definitely share your story.
@mZdejavuZ -
I think we are finally closing in on his technique.
@Olyachka -
I figure that I should somehow make my Xanga "loud" so I can be popular like Dane.
I think that is just a girl, handsome I must say, watching porn or at least she was and decided to take a photo for the old boyfriend.
@curiousdwk -
Those are two of my favorites not that I need a sandwich maker but it is just funny.
@RestlessButterfly -
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed.
@flowmorphiaslow -
You know I was tempted to post those new photos of Vanessa but they may have been taken before the batch where she was "hairy" which would make her very underage and I'm too cute for prison.
@bitterbittenrockinblonde22 -
Well I think you read it
@Lithium98 -
yes...I wish I had a sandwich maker right about now
@pansybradshaw -
There are so many times when I think I need therapy. Oh and I am sure you wouldn't have to ask Dane twice.
@nattata -
I do have some unique dreams. Like today I dreamt about moving into a new house and the old owners left all their stuff so I had to clean it out. NOw the strange thing is about it is that I left my TV on so the things I was moving around were things being discussed on TV like when they were talking about baseball I was finding baseball equipment and the same for football and then commercials I was finding toy cars and blenders and the like.
@Voltair -
This coach is a Vietnam vet and he routinely put us through hell. Our early football camp was equivalent of basic training. So many guys who went into the army and played football and also wrestled(he coached that as well) said that basic was a breeze after his camps. He sometimes had flashbacks and that got crazy. Oh and when we would play our rival school, which was a public school, he would wear a t-shirt and hat that said "Death to the Heathens". Ah...Christianity...it's such a loving religion.
@NightlyDreams -
One way I know that I have been talking in my sleep is that my mouth is extremely dry and it usually happens right when I am about to wake up. People have told me numerous times I talk. I had a friend that one night he started screaming in his sleep. It was something like "STAY ON THE PATH, STAY ON THE PATH!" I left out the expletives but yeah it was creepy hearing that in the middle of the night. One of my roommates in college said I laughed a lot during my sleep.
@TiRocKiinPiinK -
I actually like it that my cats sleep on me, it makes me feel close to them. Yeah that Dog one is hilarious. I never realized he copied his look from the Cowardly Lion. I think you did read my story so thanks.
@godfatherofgreenbay -
imma frayd i might hafta ask him to shut up hahahahahahahaha
I always love the Motivation entries, thanks.
LMAO, that's a funny series of dreams... and I love the Dog/Cowardly Lion photo. A great way to start my morning... Thanks! <3 SuZ
@dangerousdan58 -
Thank you. I love doing these posts because I detest the "real" motivational posters.
@VioletMoonDancer7 -
Yeah I laughed so hard when I saw the Dog?Cowardly Lion poster. I couldn't believe how close the resembled each other.
I am trying to figure out why my dreams are so vivid. I am off my medicine or at least I refuse to take it. Maybe it is my slow slide into vegetarianism.
@pansybradshaw -
Well I think that is what this is for.
@godfatherofgreenbay -
at least you were not having a night terror like your friend. laughing is good no matter when you do it.
I always have weird dreams too...lol But yours seem to make more sense than mine, haha.
P.S. I took me seven times til I really "saw" it.
@starrynite45 -
Usually I only remember the dreams that somewhat make sense. Normally I just forget them but these stayed with me.
Ah...so you saw it? Did you smirk in mild amusement?
@godfatherofgreenbay -
I feel like my cat & I are bonded for life. He left me with a scar on my wrist! He's freaking annoying and will constantly walk all over you.
I did read your story and cried! Thinking about it makes me want to cry.
Comments are closed.