August 27, 2009
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And we all shine on
So I sat down tonight and started working on a second "Girl" post. I think it was funny but I had to put it down when Top Chef started. I decided to try my own Top Chef drinking game.
Take 1 drink every time they show a scallop or say the word "scallop"
Take 1 drink for every time a contestant says "I'm not here to make friends."
Take 1 drink if a contestant says they should win because that is their field of expertise.Take 2 drinks if the contestant above failsTake 1 drink if a contestant expresses concern about using something they are unfamiliar with.
Take 1 drink if the contestants all show complete shock to a particular challenge.Take 2 drinks if if is unwarranted i.e. "They have us cooking shrimp? WTF!"Take 1 drink whenever Padme says something which she is unqualified to say...use at your own risk
Take 1 drink when the guest chef is not well known outside of his region.Take 2 drinks if a contestant kisses the guest chef's ass in the diary portion
Take 10 drinks if a contestant asks "Who the fuck is this guest?"Take 1 drink every time Gale Simmons mentions Food and Wine magazine...use at your own risk
For some reason tonight's episode didn't have me drinking.
I have two cats sleeping next to me. Little do they know I am about to scream in order to keep them on their feet...er...paws.
Prepositions are fun to end sentences with.
Wisconics Lesson #1...counting
To say that there is a couple of something one must say "a couple, two, tree" The -th sound is unknown in the Wisconics language.Wisconics Lesson #2...ATM Machines
You may think Wisconsinites are strange and sci-fi fans because they frequently ask for ATMs by asking, "Hey youse guys, come here real quick once, where's yer Tyme Machine?" "Um?" "Oh der it is, I'm going by duh Tyme Machine and den off to Fleet Farm."Wisconics Lesson #3...drinking
A person from Wisconsin will ask for water fountains or drinking fountains by asking, "Hey youse guys, come here real quick once, where's yer bubbler?" "Um?" "Oh der it is, I'm gonna get me sum water over by the bubbler. Wanna come with er no?" The safest thing you can do in the event a Wisconsinite asks for a bubbler is to point them to the nearest bar that serves brandy old-fashioneds and then stay out of there way.Wisconics doesn't translate well to the world of the internet.
2012 is going to kick my ass.
It's offical, Vikings players hate Brett Favre and he has already caused a schism in the Vikings' lockerroom. It couldn't happen to a better guy. Good luck in the....hahahahaha...playoffs...hahahahahahahaha
"Every time I think about you, I touch my elf"....Actually I think he is trying to slide down her chimney.
Yes, that is where they got the concept for those awful movies.
Schadenfreude, noun, satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.
I can't decide which competition this comes from: Welcome to the 2009 Miss He-Didn't-Pull-Out Competition...or...Welcome to the 2009 Miss I Strip to Support My Fatherless Child.
Why must we discriminate against hookers?
"Homo Loco takes down Teabag the Terrible with his patented Coxygen Mask move." Seriously Japanese wrestling is crazy. I need to find some videos of a Japanese wrestling show I once saw called Stranglemania.
I think there is irony here.
Here's some more irony. Don't know what irony is? Well look it up.
Ice Cream? No. Culver's delicious frozen custard? No. That is chicken slurry. That is what unprocessed Chicken McNuggets look like.
Well...if you insist.
If a douchebag falls in the forest and no one is around, do we still laugh?
Turtle Power
Guten Abend
Comments (33)
Guten Morgen!
I think I've watched "Top chef" in Australia. My friend became addicted to that show and forced me to watch it a couple of times. It would have been so much more fun with your game! lol
Hey yooz guys!! hahah I use to say that all the time at work. I don't get Top Chef but I do watch Hell's Kitchen. It's a riot. I wonder what a chef could do with that chicken stuff. God, it looks like someone shit out 50 pounds of bubble gum. I can't think right now, haven't slept since Tuesday so......I'll be back.
"When I think of you, I touch my elf." Bahahahahahahahahaha.
Miss He-Didn't-Pull-Out Competition sounds perfect for them.
Oh shit! That donnatello blog had me cracking up! I'm in the break room at work and startef to laugh out loud. People were turning around to look at me and see what's so funny. How do you explain to someone that the you where laughing at the purple ninja turtles blog? Awesome!
That's unprocessed chicken nuggets? Seriously? That's so sick.
The rest are funny though.
You sure do find the funny pictures, don't you!!
I used to be a big Ninja Turtle fan . . . back in the days of Shredder and BeBop and Rocksteady . . . ah . . . those were the days. I got my 3 year old into it and it was always a hoot to hear her cry "Cowabunga, Dude!"
This was like motivation! Too bad the only thing I need to get up and do is brush my teeth. This was funny stuff. If those are nuggets, ewwwww! I'd still eat them though.
and they say we talk funny in texas...
ah yes, top chef. this season is full of whiny bitches. already tired of those two brothers.
I think the two santas are both girls...of course I could just be stating the obvious
Regarding the preposition comment: A man was walking across Harvard Yard looking for the library. After 15 minutes of searching, he sees a male student with a backpack walking briskly. So he stops the student and asks, "Excuse me, could you tell me where the library is at?" The student jerks to a stope, drops his jaw, and then says with a scowl, "Sir, around here we do not end our sentences with a preposition.". The man takes in what the student has said and then exclaims, "Oh, pardon me. Let me rephrase that. Could you tell me where the library is at, shithead?"
Love the Hooker pic, I have to say I still don't quite get the Coxygen mask (I think I'm afraid to get it), Little Hope irony, the George Orwell irony, and the Parking Wank pic. Thanks for the chuckles.
I was gonna make a couple two tree comments but lost my train of thought while touching my elf
I keep tellin the boys at work about Farve, he who laughs last,,,,
@nattata -
Wie geht es Ihnen?
I had to drink when I watched it a few seasons ago. That made it enjoyable. Last year I tried but I feared I would turn alcoholic.
@dikdoktor -
Oh yes, Hell's Kitchen...sometimes it is hard for me to understand the show because they have to edit out have the dialogue. This current season has been halfway decent. I loved when that one chef yelled and swore at Ramsay.
So what keeps you from sleeping?
@YossariansWingman -
I love that one. I love that song. A while back when I was at a bar and they had kareoke some drunk guy got up and tried singing the right words but I remember one time he sang "When I think about myself I touch myself," and there was also mention of touching himself while looking at Playboys. So whenever I hear the song now, I sing those lyrics.
@RestlessButterfly -
I like that contest name as well.
@Lithium98 -
I can't remember where I found the Donatello blog but my initial reaction was extreme laughter. The Turtles have went downhill ever since the third movie came out. Turtles in Time? I can't believe I actually found that movie on cable a few weeks ago.
@C0ll33Ncorps -
Yeah I have always been disgusted with McDonald's chicken products. I think I had my first chicken product about a year ago and that was after they introduced their new higher quality products. I avoided chicken from McDonald's because of that photo and also the poor quality chicken they used. They would purchase the worst chickens and use them. Some of those chickens actually contained cancer and that is what was processed into McNuggets.
Sorry, I guess that is a bit too much.
@florida2008 -
I try but for every funny picture I think I post two that aren't funny.
@jacksoncroons -
aw that sounds so fun. I never knew parents could bond with children over cartoons. My parents tended to avoid anything that interested me. I miss those old Turtle cartoons with Be-bop and Rocksteady. I was cleaning out some boxes a few weeks ago at my parents and I found all my old Turtle figures. I have my Shredder on display now.
@TiRocKiinPiinK -
Well I am glad you enjoyed and were motivated. Brushing your teeth is important. My dad avoided that when he was in his 20s and when he was in his 30s he had false teeth.
@BranmacFeabhail -
Yes, Wisconsin is a crazy place for speaking. I am currently living in a town of 1300 and when I go to the grocery store I usually hear 4 languages spoken: English, German, Czech, and Spanish. Then I drive about 25-30 miles to my second hometown which is a major tourist town and I can hear at least 10 different languages. It gets crazy up here.
I am sick of those brothers as well and I am dreading that in future episodes they will milk the sibling rivalry for all it is worth. Colicchio made mention of the rivalry and he is a producer so I am just assuming it is going to be shoved odwn the viewer's throats much like last year they force fed us scallops.
@ChocolatMenier -
Well now that you mention it...I actually thought it was a guy and a girl but you are probably correct.
@curiousdwk -
That joke is hilarious. I wish I could use that when teaching.
Oh the Coxygen mask...I was just trying to make an off-color joke seeing as the guys face was buried in the shorts...sort of like Cock plus oxygen...Coxygen.
@ElevenStones -
I shouldn't laugh because it will blow up in my face but it just feels so good especially since the Packers have looked so good in the preseason.
Wonder Woman, Superman, and Pinocchio were walking around a town and they happened upon a beauty contest. Wonder Woman says, "Well that is the contest for me." She walks in and then comes out with the 1st place trophy. As they continued walking Superman sees a strongman contest and says, "That's the contest for me." He goes in and comes out with the first place trophy. Then after some more walking they came across a lie telling competition and Pinocchio says, "Well that's for me." He goes in and then comes out with his head hung in shame. Superman asks, "What happened?" Pinocchio said, "I lost." Wonder Woman asks, "Well who won?" Pinocchio replied, "Brett Favre." (yes I know that needs some work)
@godfatherofgreenbay - Mir geht's gut! Und dir? Darf ich überhaupt "du" sagen? hehe
I like the idea of calling it a Bubbler!
WOW! That underwear over his face?! The guy on the floor, look sknocked out, while the other guy looks as though he might have pulled those man panties over his face, for his own reasons. When I lived in Hawaii my friend told me about this Japanese wrestler... I gforget his name, he was old school... but he could, at any time, spit a spray of colored spit. It was more like a gush of water, or when a whale shoots water out it's blow hole... but he never had a drink. He's just be wrestling and spray that stuff in the air.
The pregnant bikini show... I have no idea what to think about that. A part of me wants to say pregnant women are cute, but when you walk them in a circle like cows on parade. I just dont know.
I used to be a HUGE Ninja Turtle fan! My friend and I would get off the bus from school, race like animals to her house (because it was closer than mine) turn on the television, just to catch the intro to the show. That show was crack cocaine for us! Since there was only two of us on the street... we had to take turns being certain turtles.
As I got older I made another friend that was obsessed with them. Had their cartoon heads tatooed to her back. She was already kind of awkward... a 6ft tall, hispanic girl that had problems holding herelf up straight... and here she was, with ninja turtle bedding at 21 years old.
At some point it helps to evolve.
@godfatherofgreenbay -
oh you know they're gonna. tom probably thinks it's funny.
@nattata -
Was I using the wrong form? Oh I just realize I used the formal. Well see I am a novice. You may call me "du" as long as you put up with my mistakes.
@theladyofabundance -
We call them bubblers because the water has bubbles in it. Another reason is that it was a trademarked term for a drinking fountain by the people at Kohler. One of my roommates in college had a t-shirt with a drinking fountain and it said "Where's the Bubbler?"
Yes I think I know who that wrestler may be. I want to say The Great Muta. He would spray this green mist during the matches and actually it was used as a finisher because it would "blind" his opponents but if the referee saw it then it was illegal. The strange thing was about it is that the ref would have to see the guy with all this green junk on his face and chest. I remember reading how they did that. I want to say he had caplets taped on the inside of his pants or in the tape on his fingers. When he would be beat, he would quick sneak one into his mouth and work it in with his salvia.
I have to be careful what I say about pregnant women. A few of my friends who aren't on Xanga read this and they either have had babies or are trying. I am strangely attracted to pregnant women but what creeps me out is that there are genres of porn devoted to that.
A friend and I made our own weapons like the turtles. Except we couldn't make real swords. We just went to the lumber yard and bought a bunch of round rods. We would saw them down and hammer and nail them to make it resemble their weapons. It was actually fun. Then my friend went into this phase where he made a bow and arrows and he would get pissed and shoot them at his brother.
@theladyofabundance -
Oops I mean to say saliva not salvia although some salvia may be fun about now.
@godfatherofgreenbay - No, there was nothing wrong, just really polite. lol