November 16, 2009

• Monday Mash-Up Madness

  I was going to post this last night but time get a better hold on me.  Did anyone watch that WWII in HD on the History Channel?  Great show.  They restored footage of WWII time film and made it HD.  Now if only I had an HD TV to view it.  Oh well it made me have hope that History Channel is going to attempt to show programs of a historical nature instead of non-historical programs about lumberjacks, truck drivers, UFOs, and car racing...wait the car racing program debuts in January. 

  This one combines Prodigy's "Smack my Bitch Up" with "Orrinoco Flow" by Enya.  Creepy mix, even creepier is that it works.  I can remember how controversial that Prodigy song was when that album was released.  MTV only showed the video at certain times late at night.  If I remember now the video is very tame compared to today's videos.  I mean sometimes watching the MTV Jams video channel it's like watching Skinemax. 

  This bootleg uses "Slave 4 U" by Britney Spears and mixes it with some "Wherever, Whenever" by Shakira and "Staying Alive" by The Beegees.  I actually love this one.  I have a strange fascination with Shakira.  Of course some will say it is because she is "hot".  Well that is partly it but I like her accent and sometimes that leads to awkard listening sessions.  For instance when I first heard her song "Underneath Your Clothes" I didn't hear it as such.  I thought I was hearing her sing "Underneath Your Balls".  Acents are so sexy yet misleading.

  I am having problems with this one.  I can't remember the vocal part.  I think it is "Next Episode" by Dr. Dre but I am not sure.  I am fairly certain whatever song it is, that it comes from Dr. Dre's Chronic 2000.  Anyway it is mashed with "Paradise City by Guns N Roses.

  Oh and I read a comment last night that made me remember some pick-up lines I once collected.  They weren't your regular pick-up lines however.  These were the pick-up lines of historical figures.  Don't understand?  WEll here they are:
  "Space-time isn't the only thing that is curved."-Albert Einstein
  "Fetch me some calomel, Ms. Hemmings, I think I may have come down with jungle fever."-Thomas Jefferson
  "I believe in the separation of church and state and the separation of you and clothes."- Thomas Jefferson
  "Would you support my agrarian society and let me plant my oats in your fertile fields?"- Thomas Jefferson
  "How would you like to be Beethoven's fifth?"-Beethoven
  "You know, there are certain things I could eat during my hunger strike."-Gandhi
  "Let’s shake off our imperialistic oppressors and your panties."- Ganhdi
  "Your palace looks like it could use a sturdy column."-Julius Caesar
  "United we stand, divided we fall...catch my drift?"-Abraham Lincoln
  "Why don’t I emancipate you from the bonds of your clothes? "- Abraham Lincoln
  "You’ll never want to secede from our union."- Abraham Lincoln
  "Baby, you're the bomb."-Harry S Truman
  "Your name must be Grace because you are irresistible."-Martin Luther(yes, all my years of theology are being put to use in writing a pick up line for Martin Luther)
  "Come with me and I'll make you the Princess of Wails."-Prince Charles
  "I'd like to drop anchor in your lagoon."-Magellan
  "Avast! Prepare to be boarded."-Blackbeard
  "I like my women like I like my DNA: unzipping my genes."-Linus Pauling
  "Let's have a debate: I'll be a cultural relativist and you can adopt the missionary position."- Franz Boas(I didn't know this guy until tonight but I found that pick up line so I had to use it. He proposed the theory of cultural relativist)
  "Yes, I am proud of helping to repeal the Stamp Act but I'd rather repeal that dress from you." Benjamin Franklin
  " If you sign this non-aggression pact I promise to only blitzkrieg your western front."-Adolf Hitler
  "Stalin means “made of steel”.  I didn’t get the nickname for my ruling ability."-Josef Stalin
  "You’re making a Civil Rights Movement in my pants." Martin Luther King Jr.
  "You wanna hear about my dream about you and I?"- Martin Luther King Jr.
  "You’ve seen my face on Mount Rushmore, but wait till you see my face when I mount you."-Theodore Roosevelt
  "I'd like to finish plowing your canal"- Theodore Roosevelt
  "When I said, “I’ll be back,” I was giving your booty fair warning." Arnold Schwarzenegger
  "I banished all the snakes in Ireland…except for the one in my pants; that one I saved for you."- St. Patrick
  "I’d love to aerial your backside."- Tony Hawk
  "Actually, the happiest place on earth is my bedroom."-Walt Disney
  "What time do you get off work because I feel an uprising in my lower class?"- Karl Marx
  "I lost my telephone patent, can I have yours?"- Elisha Gray
  "Want to take a midnight ride?  I'll give a signal for when I am coming: one if by pink, two if by stink."- Paul Revere
  "I'd like to thank you ahead of time for the fun we will have tonight."- Nostradamus
  "I've got a huge part for you but only if you dress like a man."- Shakespeare
  "Ich bin....how do you say 'hard as a rock' in German?"- JFK
  "I'm going to split you in half."- King Solomon
  "The piano is a string instrument, but I prefer if you play my wind instrument and blow me."- Mozart
  "Baby, I don’t mind that you’re a B Flat, I’ll still orchestrate orgasms for you. "- Mozart

  If you have any that you would like to submit, please send them my way in a comment.

  Oh and I am taking off in a minute or so because there is a funeral in a town for one of the Ft. Hood victims in a town about 7 miles away.  It's in the town where I used to attend grade school.  I figure that despite my disdain for the media hounds that have descended in this area that I should attempt to be patriotic.

  • 3:44 PM
  • 33 Comments