June 25, 2010
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Lukewarm Links 6/24
I am so scared. I had a puddle of water in my car and five folding chairs in my back seat. I think I am sleep-walking again. I don't know when the chairs got there but quite possibly the water could have been there because a seal on my door wasn't tight. Oh well, I need to figure out where I got these chairs.
1. I was reading an article today about how a cookbook was promoting itself because of the oil spill and lack of oysters. The cookbook claims that the secret ingredient tastes just like oysters and has the same texture. Can you guess the secret ingredient? Yes, it's semen. I just want to know who decided one day to taste-test semen and oysters.
2. This game is called Canabalt. It is quite easily the most addictive game on the internet. Maybe it's addictive because I suck. My personal best was 1690m.
3. Here's a collection of ridiculous senior portraits. If the people who took my senior portraits would have let me pose the way I wanted, I would have ended up on that list. My idea was to pose with a newspaper and my rifle. They said that I may be visited by the FBI or Secret Service if I did that pose.
4. Cats are amazing creatures. They are so independent and sleep all the time and...well that's about it. But for being such independent minded animals they sure like it when people pile stuff on them. My cats don't like me to touch them while they sleep so I can't pile anything on them.
5. Here's a blog called Stuff No One Told Me. Some of that stuff would have come in handy in my life. Oh well, I'll have a few beers and get over it.
6. Freud said something about seeing penises and having cock on the mind but I think these really are accidental.
7. Here's a fun little quiz from mentalfloss: Presidential Nickname or Professional Wrestler. Here's how big of a nerd I am, I scored a 100%.
8. Do you remember Care Bears? Do you know what a hipster is? Well this site combines the two with hilarious results.
9. Are you trying to decide on which religion you should belong to? Do you realize that I speak with horrible Wisconics(the language of Wisconsin were it is common to end sentences with prepositions)? Well here is a quiz where you can discover which religion you should consider.
10. I find it hard to believe that there is a national mustard museum but what I don't find hard to believe is that it is in Wisconsin. And here it is. If you are in Wisconsin and planning on getting married, they host weddings. A local tv station aired some of the wedding ceremony. The song the bride walked the aisle to was sung to the tune of "On Wisconsin" and involved talking of love and mustard.
11. Who is the cutest Xangan? It's a 100% accurate.
12. And because I love this site so much and because I am so lonely, here's girls eating ice cream cones.
I guess my last post wasn't satirical enough or maybe people just needed to know whom I was satirizing.
Come on, ESPN!
Comments (37)
I love the Wisconsin accent. My hubby says the coolest things. "Bag" and "About" are my favorites!
@ShamrockLover -
"Milk" is another word that you can tell if a person is from Wisconsin.
Here's three lessons in Wisconics I wrote some time ago:
Wisconics Lesson #1...counting
To say that there is a couple of something one must say "a couple, two, tree" The -th sound is unknown in the Wisconics language.
Wisconics Lesson #2...ATM Machines
You may think Wisconsinites are strange and sci-fi fans because they frequently ask for ATMs by asking, "Hey youse guys, come here real quick once, where's yer Tyme Machine?" "Um?" "Oh der it is, I'm going by duh Tyme Machine and den off to Fleet Farm."
Wisconics Lesson #3...drinking
A person from Wisconsin will ask for water fountains or drinking fountains by asking, "Hey youse guys, come here real quick once, where's yer bubbler?" "Um?" "Oh der it is, I'm gonna get me sum water over by the bubbler. Wanna come with er no?" The safest thing you can do in the event a Wisconsinite asks for a bubbler is to point them to the nearest bar that serves brandy old-fashioned sweets and then stay out of there way.
Hmm, maybe the cats moved in the mysterious chairs...
so the question is, did nigeria and germany really have that match?
I live in WI...hmm my accent isn't too bad. I hope lol.
Canabalt got you hooked, huh. Personally I'm a fan of Robot Unicorn Attack.
Maybe you had nothing to do with those chairs. Is it possible someone is playing a joke on you? Maybe you should wear a gps unit to bed at night just in case. Don't they have some weird fangled gadget to track sleep walkers yet?
I thought that xanga link was quite accurate
Wow, you're right: That Canabalt game is addicting! LOL those senior pictures were hilarious and those cat pictures were ridiculously adorable
I think, tonight, my favorite was Stuff No One Told Me 
2683 on my first try.... canabalt is pretty fun.
also the cutest xangan is wrong...
Stuff No One Told Me is pretty cool for a spanish guy with poor grammar skills!
Nao excuse me while I go get some ice cream!
Stuff No One Told Me is pretty cool.
HAHA....yes, my husband calls it a bubbler. Crazy! He has lost some of his accent living away from WI for 13 years, but i can still pick it up. And i love those people who say they live there and claim they don't have an accent. They just don't know it!!! My MIL is from the U-P. I hadn't heard of Upper Michigan until i met her and her accent is STRONG.
@Shopgirl0393 -
Actually my cats will pile things on me when I sleep. One got into my teaching supplies and now carries bendy straws all over the house and sometimes in my sleep she will drop them on my body.
@quodmenutriut -
I thought they played in this world cup but it was the under 20 world cup.
@YeahHer -
Well I think it depends on what part of Wisconsin you live in...urban or rural. I live in a rural area surrounded by Amish and of course people talk like that pretty bad. Well I should judge based on urban or rural because I've had friends from Milwaukee and Fond Du Lac that have horrible accents. It's worse in MN though.
@Chinese_Sait0u -
I'll have to check that one out. There was just something about Canabalt that hooked me. Maybe it was the simple gameplay.
@NightlyDreams -
I have no clue if they have things to target sleepwalkers but I don't think it's a prank because if it were someone would have had to come into my house and grab my car keys to disarm the car.
@mZdejavuZ -
Oh no...I got someone addicted. Those cat photos are hilarious but my cats pile stuff on me. I've probably told you this before but one of my cats got into teaching supplies and she started carrying around bendy straws. So whenever she brings me one I give her a treat. Well at night when I am sleeping she brings them to me but I don't wake up to give her treats so she will crawl up on me and drop them on my back.
@TheGiantSlayer -
See I am not that adept at that game. Oh well, it's still fun.
@windoftheforest -
MMMM...what kind of ice cream?
@Shining_Garnet -
Yeah I like that one too
@ShamrockLover -
Accents are worse in MN. Fargo got it pretty accurate but of course people claim they don't talk like that but they do. There was a Rene Zellwegger movie that was set in the town where I went to college and taught. They had the accent down too. One thing that defies my logic and makes me batty is when people say "I'm going over by ______" instead of "I'm going to ________". I don't know why but it's like nails on a chalkboard. I think that is a Milwaukee thing though.
@godfatherofgreenbay -
No you didn't tell me that before, but awww that's soo effin cute... I can just see it in my mind, thanks to my active imagination! =P
@godfatherofgreenbay -
Yeah, the bubbler thing REALLY threw me off when I first moved to Wisconsin *LOL* Luckily I didn't encounter too many people who refer to them by that name.
Re: #10... If I ever get married again, I want it to be at Voodoo Doughnuts in Portland. http://voodoodoughnut.com/weddings.php
Re Wisconsinic. A man was walking around Harvard Square looking in vain for the library. Finally, in desperation, he stops a student with a backpack slung across his shoulder and asks "Excuse me, could you tell me where the library's at?" The student eyes the man as his jaw drops and finally explains, "Sir, around here we do not end our sentences with a preposition." The man looks at the student and then responds, "Oh, pardon me, let me rephrase the question, Do you know where the library's at, shithead?"
@ithiliya -
You know I saw that Voodoo donuts on the travel channel and I thought that was pretty cool for weddings.
What always throws me off is when I go out from Wisconsin and here people refer to Pepsi and Coke as soda. When I was growing up, soda was always something that contained ice cream or some form of cream.
@curiousdwk -
Oh yes, I love that joke. I use it as an example quite often when I end with prepositions.
So what I'm dying to know is, did you ever solve the chair mystery??
@quodmenutriut -
I examined them yesterday afternoon and they had a church name on them. The worst part is that I don't go to that church.
@godfatherofgreenbay - that is a fantastic story. did you return the chairs, or are you keeping them, as evidence of the fact that you can be sneaky even in your sleep?
@quodmenutriut -
I am thinking of maybe returning them and going to confession because they come from the Catholic church in town. The only downside is that I'm not Catholic and the chairs say "St. Al's". They shorten it because they are St. Aloysius.
I stopped in to tell you something, but now i forgot what I was going to say..
@godfatherofgreenbay - St. Aloysius, the patron saint of youth. Dude predicted his own death. That's pretty awesome. If you have to steal chairs from someone, why not someone who had to fight to follow their faith AND who could tell the future? I approve, sir. I approve.
HA HA! I am the cutest... wait, you say that too all the girls.
The seniro pictures... the girl with the frog is so awkward! *LOL* and the boy with the flute or what have you.... Wow... how do you get a young man... on a pedastal and hand him a lacey fan without someone laughing on set?
And after looking at the hispster bears... I dont think Im cool enough to be either. Maybe leaned towards intellectual bear or blogger bear.... but art bear using menstral blood... too extreme. I think Im probably too lukewarm myself to be hip.
The "Stuff no one told me" is touching and sentimental at times.
Still... one of my favorite links you posted was that of the porno bloopers.
@godfatherofgreenbay -
See, now that's the exact opposite for me. I moved up to WI and SOME people referred to it as "pop" which I bloody hate (they say that here, too). It'd always been "soda" to me.
Soda with ice cream is a "float". As in "root beer float" or "orange float" etc.
(And Travel Channel is where I saw the Voodoo Doughnut thing too :] )
@theladyofabundance -
Ah...yes, I told all the girls who read this article that they are cute so I guess that makes me a big flirt.
Maybe the kid wanted to be with the fan...just thinking that it's possible.
Yes, I am getting to old to be a hispter anymore but I did find myself talking like the music guy the other day when I was talking about how I loved a band's earlier work and the person looked at me with disgust.
I keep checking out that porn blooper one but they haven't updated in a long time.
@ithiliya -
Yeah I've heard it called a float as well but the ice cream is more of a liquid in the soda or at least that's what I've been lead to believe.
Comments are closed.