July 28, 2010
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Attempt at Poetry
I’m not really feeling like writing tonight so I am pulling out an old poem that I wrote sometime last year. Anyway I’m not much of a poet and don’t have a way with words so don’t be too harsh.
Can anyone out there
Understand all those dark desires and
Needs that I crave as a man?
No one out there gets it.
I am searching for “the one”.
Lately that has been difficult,
Impossible as some may say.
No matches, no love.
Gonna be alone the rest of my days,
Unless by sheer luck…maybe,
Some day but not today.Inspired by Song of Songs 7:2 שררך אגן הסהר אל יחסר המזג
Comments (31)
it’s expressive, and i think you have 2 different text sizes in the first 3 lines.
@Paul_Partisan -
Thanks, yeah I hate timestamping things from over a year go so copying and pasting is the way to go but I must have formatted the other one differently.
I think it is pretty good.
Thanks for the comment.
Is your profile picture really you?
(I’ve always wondered that…)
Very sad like the lone wolf.
I will stand near you and then we can be alone in unison.
I think you did pretty good. I don’t know the passage you were inspired by but I have read the book of songs. (i just can’t remember anything)
Pretty good
@Shining_Garnet -
Thank you…I guess I shouldn’t give away the meaning.
@onlyxlovexremains -
No it’s not me. It’s a character from The Sopranos. I have this thing about using my real photos because I have seen students and former students here.
@POETIC_ISIS -
Would you pissed at me if I said this was an acrostic poem?
@TheGiantSlayer -
Alone in unison…I like the sound of that.
@lyhome123 -
Thank you
@NightlyDreams -
Song of Songs has many different ways it can be read. In the ancient Jewish times, the book was not allowed to be read until a person was 30 or married because it is very sexual.
Look at the first letter of every line and you will get an idea what the verse is talking about. The NIV translates the Hebrew as “Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine. Your waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies.” However the Hebrew word that they translate as “navel” actually is a Hebrew term for vagina. Here is a site that contains more sexual imagery in the book.
@godfatherofgreenbay -
Not at all. Acrostics are hard. I suck at them.
@godfatherofgreenbay -
I’ll have to check your link out later. I’m getting my quick xanga fix before going right now. I’ve never interpetted anything in my life. I am horrible at that and I think there’s a lot of interpretations in literature that are just fluff to make someone else look smart. But I’ll look at this with an open mind
@godfatherofgreenbay -
I understand now.
@POETIC_ISIS -
Well this is an acrostic and fully displays that I am not mature.
@NightlyDreams -
Yeah…I’m evil
@godfatherofgreenbay - i was getting nervous there for a sec… reading your poem and thinking you were all, ya know, GOOD and stuff …then i read this comment …whew! that was a close one right there! =P
anywaaaay, enough of that silliness… i like it, your poem… great job =)
@Peridot21 -
Tee-hee…yeah, I pass myself off as intelligent and knowledgeable on the Bible and the languages in which it was written. I just know the dirty parts. I have found it amazing that modern Christianity has tried to suppress that side of Song of Songs.
@godfatherofgreenbay -
Same goes with me my puns.
@godfatherofgreenbay - probably not evil just a normal guy that actually seems to have some religious values mixed in with crude humor. least that’s the gist of what i see here.
@NightlyDreams -
Yeah…very crude but I get fed up with how that book is treated.
I liked it. That’s how I feel a lot of the time. Before I met my girlfriend anyway. If it doesn’t work out, that’s how I shall feel again. I’m no stranger to it.
Oddly enough I read this because I thought it said “Attempt at Pottery” I said to myself.. reeeeally?
You’re doomed!
@Dust_to_Dust84 -
Yeah my pottery would be worse than my poetry. I figure I need a girlfriend at the least to achieve the main point of the work.
@windoftheforest -
Yes…I probably am. I’m old and have no prospects. I’m destined to be alone and die alone.
Do you go out and socialize so you can meet a young lady? Im guessing you do, I mean, as long as they can find you… you could meet someone.
@theladyofabundance -
Yeah I go out but the ladies I see aren’t the ones I look for or at least not ones I can converse with.
@theladyofabundance -
Oh and I possibly forgot to mention that it was an attempt at a specific type of poetry…an acrostic.