September 8, 2010

• You Laugh, You Lose

  
  We're going to play a little game.  If you laugh, you lose.  It's as simple as that.  PREPARE TO LOSE!
  
  What sort of doctor are you?  HELP ME!
  
  That IS what she said.
  
  I once worked for a taco.
  
  mmmm chicken.
  
  What else could it be?
  
  Science has become so easy since the Juggalo Theory was introduced to the world this summer.
  
  Hey, it's a bidickle.
  
  OH NO!  Not only is he invading our dreams, but now it seems he's invaded our viral videos.
  
  OH NO!  Not only is he invading our dreams and viral videos, but now it seems he's invaded our politics.
  
  OH NO!  Not only is he invading our dreams, viral videos, and politics, but now it seems he's invaded our classic album covers.
  
  OH NO!  Not only has he invaded our dreams, viral videos, politics, and classic album covers but he's also invaded our Polands.
  
  Imperialism is so cute.
  
  In Braunau in Austria born and raised, in Vienna was where I spent most of my days, Chillin out, maxing, relaxing all cool, and thinking of ways to annihilate the Jews, when a couple of kikes, who were up to no good started raising loans in my neighborhood, I set up one little camp and Russia got scared, they said ‘if you invade Poland can we at least share?'  I whistled for my car and when it came near the license plate said "fuhrer" and Eva Braun was in the rear.  In germany fucking your own cousin was rare, but i thought "nah forget it," yo home to Berlin!  I caught millions of jews, about 7 or 8, and i yelled to hymies "yo holmes, smell ya later".  I shipped em to camps, when they were finally there, I took em all out, with some gas in the air.
  
  Little known Hitler fact:  He shredded that axe.
  
  Is it too soon?
  
  Because a TV sitcom set in a Nazi P.O.W. camp is HILARIOUS!
  
  Did you buy one yet?  I bet the next step is take a page out of Hitler's game plan by burning copies of "On the Origins of Species".
  
  Better go all in because you must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.
  
  My cat, Kiki, is such a slut.
  
  
  Remember when I said I was working on a parade float?  This is the finished product.  We won first place in the religious entry competition and we won for best overall entry.  All those "flowers" are hand folded and made with tissue paper.  I don't even know how many I made.  There are at least 100 on each length and 50 on each width so just on the sides there are 300.  Plus with all the ones in the "flower pots" there would be another 100.  And then the "mountain" under the cross must have 200.  600?  Yeah that's a lot.  Oh and the local newspaper put a photo in the latest edition.  They didn't ask what it meant so they said the watering can was watering the garden of life.  My original thought was that God showers us with his love.  Oh well, we won two trophies.  I know, I know, I know...some of you are saying "RELIGION?  ARGH!"  Let me have it, please.  I won't force my beliefs on you.
  
  I like to think this post was brilliant.

  • 11:55 PM
  • 80 Comments