January 10, 2011

  • The Dwindling Beginning

    Because I'm going through some shit and I've come to some realizations...here's a survey

    When's the last time you ran?
    The last time the cops came knocking on my door

    Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?
    I actually have this pair that has patches sewn on them, I bet they aren't in style

     What are you dreading right now?
    Atlanta

     Do you celebrate 420?
    I'm 12 and what is this?

     Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night?
    No, it varies, some nights I can go down for 8 but then some I can only eke out 3 tops

     If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would ya'll do?
    Show my music ADD and then watch movies and then find a dive bar and then we'll take it from there

    Have you ever been on your school's track team?
    No, although when I was teaching high school, I was a weight coach for the track team

     Do you own a pair of Converse?
    I did when I was in grade school or high school...they were a pair of Dennis Rodman's

     Did you copy and paste this survey?
    How else does one do a survey

     Do you eat raw cookie dough?
    certain kinds, yes, I will just make the cookie dough to eat or I buy it in the tube after a night of drinking and eat it like a banana like a boss

     Have you ever kicked a vending machine?
    Once and it was all over youtube

     Don't you hate it when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over?
    I'm 12 and what is radio?

    Do you watch Trading Spaces?
    No, but I like wife swaps

     How do you eat oreos?
    Oh I hate Oreos but I love to eat Hydrox by twisting off the cookie part and then taking as many creme fillings to make super Hydrox cookies

     Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone?
    Currently I am waiting for you because we have to talk about where were are.  I bared my soul and told you that I have a heart on for you and you didn't say anything.  I hope you don't think I'm psycho but I really feel a connection.  Can't you?  It's like we were brought together by fate and we shouldn't tempt the fates so we should succumb to our basic instincts and go wild by calling each other on the phone and maybe having a tickle fight.  I doubt you kept on reading this especially after "heart on" because you realized I was making a reference to The Office which happens to be one of my favorite TV shows, how about you?  Really, it is?  I think we should hang out and watch The Office.  I just got season 6 from the library.  Want to come over?  I'll make supper.

     Are you cocky?
    I have a pet rooster named Cocky

     Could you live without a computer?
    Probably not although sometimes I think I am done

    Do you wear your shoes in the house?
    I live in WI and it is winter, what do you think?  Actually I don't.  I wear two pairs of socks, one thermal and one regular.  I am also wearing four layers of pants and I alternate...shorts, pants, shorts, pants.  I have on a pair of Zubaz.

     Who or what sleeps with you?
    NO ONE...unless the weather is bad after we finish watching The Office, you can take the bed and I'll sleep on the floor.

     At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real?
    WTF?!?!!?!  Santa isn't real?

     How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house?
    5...I am trying to go through my parents attic to find their old rotary phones because I want a rotary phone and don't want to pay American Picker prices

     What do you do when you're sad?
    Well obviously I don't watch porn because that only makes me sadder...usually I eat a lot of chili and drink a lot of water so I go to the bathroom so much that I forget I'm sad

     Who would you call first if you won the lottery?
    The lottery board

     Last time you saw your best friend?
    Well when are you coming over to watch The Office

     Are you in high school?
    No, I'm at home

     What jewelry are you wearing?
    My eyebrow ring

     Is anyone on your bad side now?
    well one of my cats is sitting on my right side and that is the ear I don't hear so well out of so yes, my cat is on my bad side

     What's the first thing you do when you get online?
    make sure I have plenty of hand lotion because I have very dry skin and I don't want my keyboard to get covered in skin flakes

     Do you watch Grey's Anatomy?
    No...I really don't have a joke for this one since I have never seen a single episode

     How do most people spell your name?
    m-a-t because people try to walk all over me...oh my god I am so funny...see you should really come over to my house to watch The Office because not only will you laugh from watching episodes of The Office but you will also laugh at my zany antic.  My name is Matt but people walk on mats and so I joked that they spelled my name m-a-t because they try to walk all over me...I'm such a stinker.

     Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes?
    I'm not into crossdressing

    What is your favorite planet?
    I expect you think I am going to make an anus joke here but you are sadly mistaken.  I like Saturn because I put a ring on it.  Hahaha...a topical joke!

     What are you doing tomorrow?
    wishing you were here watching The Office with me

     Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson?
    let's hope not and if he is let's try to keep him away from the little kids

     Favorite name for a girl?
    Wife

     Favorite name for a boy?
    Rozencrantz or Guildenstern

     Will you keep your last name when you get married?
    No, I have thought about starting fresh with a new name for Wife and me.  I wonder how much Xanga would pay us if we changed our last name to Xanga.

     When was the last time you left your house?
    Left my house?  What is this?

     Do you return your cart?
    Yes, unless I am planning on shenanigans that involve shopping carts

     Do you have a dishwasher?
    I never use it because water is expensive

     What noise do you hear?
    DETHKLOK but only out of my good ear

     Would you survive in prison?
    yes, because I own an anti-rape device

     Who is the youngest in your family?
    My parents say they have no children and my brother say he's an only child so I don't exist

     If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would most likely overpack?
    Me, I have so much personal baggage

     Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
    there were like 7 of us in my high school class

     What's the last thing you purchased?
    Four Loko

     Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you?
    no he claims he's an only child

     What brand are your pants right now?
    the tag has worn off but I don't wear brand name clothes

     Ever been to Georgia (the state)?
    No but I really want to go to Russia one day because I hear they want to watch The Office with me

     What irritates you most on the internet?
    You are on the internet and not watching The Office with me

     What brand is your digital camera?
    digital

     Do you watch movies with your parents?
    NO!  It's such a chore...who's that guy, why is his thing in her mouth, are they really that big? 

    What song best describes your life right now?
    Monster in my Pants

     Do you own expensive perfume/cologne?
    No, the Dollar Tree cologne is good enough for me

     Are you taking college classes right now?
    no, I am dragging my feet with USC because I want them to offer me a football scholarship since I have all my eligibility left.  I think it would be awesome to play college football for a coach who is only two or three years older than me.

     Do you like sushi?
    I am actually trying to become a sushi chef or at least make it for myself at home but I haven't got myself a pretty bandanna yet

     Do you get your hair cut every month?
    no, I'm getting older so there isn't much hair growth

     Do you go online everyday?
    why must you make me feel so bad about myself

     Will you pass this survey on to 5 people?
    No, you have to copy and paste it yourself.  My name is spelled M-A-T-T not m-a-t, jackass


    Just a couple more weeks until this year's season of "As the Favre Turns"

    Packers win and it's on to Minneapolis to play the Vikings.  What's that?  The Vikings didn't make the playoffs?

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