January 14, 2011

• Lukewarm Links 1/13

  I don't know if you like these links that I find but I like sharing them and seeing them get reposted on Facebook.  I love that exposure although I am not mention...sad face.  So I was out driving around in a snow storm tonight and talking with Amish.  I took my camera and wanted to interview one for a "documentary" but he said "Nein.  Geh zum Teifel."  I answered "Fick dich!"  Hahaha...German.

  1.  This is the perfect website for the anal retentive.  It's called Things Organized Neatly.  I don't know any jokes to go with this one but let's just say I will never make that site unless they count my condoms stash.  They are all still organized neatly within the box.

  2.  I live near a tourist town, probably the largest in Wisconsin and for all of you Midwesterners interested, I want to get a head count...hahaha head...for a potential Xanga meet-up in said tourist town of Wisconsin Dells.  Hit me up.  Anyway, living and working in this town has made me hate tourists and their fancy-assed vacations.  One of my goals when I worked in tourist spots was to have some one say "You've ruined my vacation!"  I have had a woman and man scream at me that I've ruined their day.  Never vacation though...sigh.  Anyway here is why I hate tourists, prepare yourself for Hatecation.  Yeah that stuff is stuff I put up with on a daily basis.

  3.  I don't like going to a restaurant and eating alone.  It's actually sort of depressing.  I think it's odd to take a long a book and people don't like it if I sit there and carry out a conversation with myself.  I know some of you think I'm joking about how depressing it is so for those doubting Thomases here's Table for One.  God, that makes me want to curl up into the fetal position but my knees ache.

  4.  I saw this one today and it was a blast from the past.  It is a collection of the oldest websites on the internet.  It's hard to believe that the oldest have only been around since 1995.  What did we do before internet porn?  Oh yeah, magazines, VHS, dvd, laser discs, 8mm, Betamax, imagination.

  5.  Today I saw someone upload numerous spoofs of the popular "Keep Calm and Carry On" posters.  Well here are some that weren't uploaded today.  Keep Calm and keep reading my damn posts.

  6.  I know I have a few fans of the zombie genre out there and I found the perfect gift to teach your children the ABCs with a zombie curriculum on Etsy.  Get your child, or hell get yourself, the Zombie ABCs.  I bet you'll never guess what letter Z is.  OK, I'll spoil it, it's zabaglione. 

  7.  Manny Ramirez doesn't have a team for the 2011 season so it looks like he has a new gig.  Psss....it's from The Onion like that video of congress' censored session where they talked about putting residents in concentration camps and a Christian group on Facebook thought they were coming from them.  Yeah, totally real.

  8.  I know I am quite boring.  Want to make my vloggy-vlogs more interesting?  Well if you said "yes," here's the Benny Hillifier.  You stick in the url and it will make me Benny Hillesque.  YOU'RE WELCOME!

  9.  Here is an interesting site where a man chronicles how R Kelly is moving into his office building.  It's called I Work Down the Hall from R Kelly.  I just hope they don't share a bathroom.

  10.  The bizarre, as if the others aren't bizarre enough for you, website of the week is Bread People.  Words can't begin to describe.

  11.  The adult website of the week is simply called Christmas Porn.  I was going to make a special post of Christmas themed adult situations but...I didn't have time.  I figure Christmas has been commercialized by the stores so why not let the porn industry have a slice of the pie.

  12.  This week's Rob_of_the_Sky website is a collection of made-up words from The Simpsons.  It's a totally outrageous proactive paradigm.  Wait those are real words...I'm so ashamed, time to go rest my legs because my Chester A. Arthritis is acting up.
  
  
  I don't know which is creepier.
  
  Because I'm totally fair and mentally unbalanced.  Maybe the reason why Obama is hiding the birth certificate is because...no, it can't be.  Maybe Glenn Beck can get people to shower the White House with letters and emails to have the president explain why he resembles Ted Williams.  They could call it the Golden Shower Movement...ok so not my best effort.
  
  I know a certain someone who'll be getting this as a Valentine from me.
  
  Yep, it's like staring in a mirror.
  
  I am flying to Germany for an emergency session of Bundestag to make this the new official flag of Germany.
  
  Yep, that is where I see the church going these days.
  
  And I got this in the mail from a mamabear99654.  Apparently I've angered Palin fans with my rhetoric in my pulse flare up as well as a facebook flare up...sounds like I was spreading herpes.  Attached with the photo was a note..."Only socialists like the Red Sox".
  
  Maybe it had something to do with my posting of this.  Good thing that idea of being in politics was only a phase.

  • 2:36 PM
  • 21 Comments