March 25, 2011

  • BLOGATHON (Rebecca Black)

    If you haven't read my other blogathon posts then you are a big stupid doo-doo head but I will give you a chance to redeem yourself: Mischief, Wisconsin Town Names, Question for Christians, and Terrible Tattoo Thursday.

    Please leave me some money because this blogathon is all about helping those who love money and I'm a man who loves money especially money that belongs to me.

    You're probably thinking, "Oh jeez the godfather is a drunk and is going to say inappropriate things about Rebecca Black."  To that I'd say, "I can't pass a breathalyzer about now so can you drive me to the 24 hour grocery store that's 25 miles away?  I need some cheese curds and some onion rings and maybe some sliced bread and sliced cheese and when we get back I'll make you a grilled cheese but only if you promise to watch me cook so I don't burn down the house and take me to the grocery store that's 25 miles away because I can't pass a breathalyzer and don't want a DUI because I'm begging for money from the blogathon.  Blogathon?  What the hell is that?  It sounds like something some jerk in Sweden made up and marketed as some sort of sauce to go on meatballs.  I like meatballs but it's too bad I can't get them at the local grocery store.  The good ones are at the grocery store that's 25 miles away by the way you never answered me if you would take me.  It's a fun trip.  I'll even let you drive my car because that is how awesome I am.  Did I ever tell you that you have nice hair?  It smells pretty sort of like kiwis and lemons and speaking of kiwis and lemons you can only get fresh kiwis and lemons at the grocery store that's 25 miles away.  We can even stop at a bar and I'll order you a hamburger at this one bar but I won't let you drink because you need to drive me to the grocery store that's 25 miles away.  This burger is the best.  It's a half pound of meat and it's grilled sort of like the grilled cheese I want to make you.  Your eyes are sparkly.  Then they top it with grilled onions and then top that with some hashbrowns and then they top that with cheddar cheese and then it's put on a bun and then you eat it.  Of course if I buy you a burger it may count as a date.  Of course it will count as a date because I say so.  Do you realize you ahve the world's most beautiful face?  That's an awesome song because it's by the Flaming Lips and I like that band.  This one time I was in the grocery store that is 25 miles away I heard them playing the Flaming Lips over the in-store radio system but it wasn't "Do You Realize".  I like that song but it's no "She Don't Use Jelly".  Speaking of jelly there is this one type of garlic cheese that I like to use in grilled cheese and I'll dip it in some grape jelly and it's in a word orgasmic.  So there I am in the grocery store 25 miles away listening to the Flaming Lips and I'm overcome with tears because the time I saw the Flaming Lips in concert after the show I stopped at the grocery store 25 miles away to do some shopping.  So are you ready to go?"

    You didn't read that.









    Sorry...I hate that song.

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