April 11, 2011
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Insipid Conversations With A Reformed Dreamer
This weekend was quite interesting. I got my haircut Friday afternoon so now it doesn't look like my mom mated with a baboon. As I described in my Celebrity Round-Up, I went shoe shopping. I have to go to a shop about an hour or so away from my house because they deal all sizes mostly because the owner does a lot of business with the University of Wisconsin, in fact this guy almost got the Badgers put on sanctions from the NCAA because of how he was gifting players with shoes. I walk through this store with the eyes of a kid in a candy store. I'm like that. I'm like the stereotype of the woman shoe shopper but I'm that way because I can't find shoes in my size at your rinky-dink stores. I make my rounds. Hmmm do I completely sell my soul to the devil and purchase a pair of Crocs? Do I need a pair of workboots? Do I need new football cleats? Do I need golf shoes? Oh wow, snake skin boots, I wonder if they will fit my calf and if not I wonder if rattlesnakes will become endangered if they make me a pair. Wow, this shark skin feels softer than the ostrich skin. Oh there's the sandals. Summer is quickly approaching. I think I need a pair of black shoes and a pair of another. Sweet. They have a pair in the bargain area in my size. 16 4E. Oh and a pair of all black hightops in a 164E? Why thank you? And a Madison Mallards hat with their original logo? SWEET! Overall it was a good trip.
Saturday I was driving around, don't ask me why. I run this town so I have to represent and let the townsfolk know I have their best interests at heart. I happened across a garage sale of a World War II vet who was selling off a lot of stuff. He had a garage sale a few years ago and I had eyed a particular item but his price was a bit high for me at the time. I walk up and he pulls out his Japanese saber that he took off a dead Japanese soldier. "I know you want this." "How much this year?" "$25." "Shit...deal!" So I drive home and put it in my weapons cabinet. It's now between my replica samurai sword and my 12 gauge shotgun. I need to get some photos of the sword and my weapons and my shoes for a little old vlog tonight.
Saturday evening I didn't do much other than watch Crazy Heart and make a Caturday post. See people think I hate Maggie Gyllenhaal. I can't watch anything with her because someone that was a real big part of my life for some time is her twin and it pains me to see her and think of the "what if" thoughts. I fell asleep longing.
Sunday I did the church thing and what not. I find it easier to sit alone in the balcony because it helps me concentrate and I don't see the people whispering about what they're having for lunch, those who are sleeping, or those who are reading magazines or something other else not church related. After church I went to an aunt's house for lunch. She wanted me to come over because she needed to make room in her freezer and apparently since I'm fat then I must be a food disposal system. She made taco salad, parsnips, roasted potatoes, roasted squash and zucchini, corned beef, baked chicken, and freshly baked bread. I sat there about ready to explode and then she brings out a blueberry cheesecake that was covered in blueberries on the top and bottom. After I finished that I went to sit down and I fell asleep while watching Bait Car on TruTV. My mom and aunt wake me up and say they want to go for a ride. We drove all these backroads and there were a few times that I heard the Deliverance banjos. Driving around these country areas I noticed there were still patches of snow. We ended up at a state park. I love that place and they have this really awesome land bridge/road that crosses a lake and on the sides there are rocks and people sit on the rocks to fish. Well my mom and aunt are rolling down their windows and shouting "Are they biting? You catching anything?" I wanted to hide especially when they yelled at two guys wearing patches for a local motorcycle gang that has been featured on History Channel's Gangland. After a long drive, I get home and lay down and turn on the TV. The area where I had been driving got hit with a severe storm that included tornadoes.
After watching some tv I fell asleep. I can't believe I'm admitting to this but I was having Xanga dreams. Oh they were fun but I won't go into specifics because Google adsense is a family oriented deal. They will break up with you if you give sex advice. WTF? If it wasn't for sex, then there'd be no families. They were offended by my photos of Kirsten Davis. I'm offended by Sex in the City but I don't block it from my TV. If I could I would. Oh well, there goes a few bucks a month. I guess it's back to gambling for the godfather. If you follow my Twitter and you totally should because it's the cool thing to do, you'll know what happened next but play along, please. I hear one of my cats crying and it sounded weird. It was muffled and I feared that she had crawled underneath my blanket and couldn't find her way out. I woke up and there was Lua sitting on my coffee table with a mouse in her mouth. "SHIT!" She dropped it and it took of running so the rest of the night my cats and I are hunting for a mouse. I set up some mouse traps around the house. I was thinking I should get my CO2 pistol involved but I'd probably shoot up my house and if I'd miss I'd get frustrated and grab the 12 gauge.
It was 50 today after it being 80 yesterday. Wisconsin, I love it.
TL;DR I did some stuff, bought some stuff, ate food, cats caught a mouse, hate weather. Now is the part where you laugh.
But are the eggs "being"?
I don't know why but this makes me laugh like a madman.
It's a yodeling pickle. While the Jolly Green Giant was out plowing the fields of LeSuer his wife was at home working with this pickle.
My mom stops on green or at least slows down when she gets to a green light so she thinks the traffic lights are bananas.
I'm OK with girls stoning me but I don't like when things that appear to be sperm are hurled at me.
You really get what you pay for at the Dollar Tree.
Why can't I be driving a monster truck when I need to?
I think I'd be wary of eating here.
Ummm shouldn't we look into false advertising here?
Yeah, that's about right.
God, they're such pigs.
WORD PLAY!I'll be back later this evening with a homework assignment for you.
Comments (43)
I got my haircut Friday afternoon so now it doesn't look like my mom mated with a baboon <-I hate when that happens.
Lol
Makes me laugh ! Now everyones looking at me. My fave pic is the dude at the concert. lol Have a good evening.
I too had a Xanga dream last night. I can't remember much of it though, but it involved a certain person and I was disappointed when I woke up.
very interesting insipid-ness
... sounds like you had quite the fun and productive day 
I bet I can tell you what time los tornados blew through your area. The bastert things hit here about 3 hours later. I devised a formula for predicting the weather here a long time ago. I'm pretty accurate too, especially if there's shit coming from the west.
Grabbing your pellet gun to shoot vermin sounds like fun. I remember my old man taking me out to a farm where this old geezer that butchered and sold homemade hooch had completely destroyed his place. He had a .22 rifle, decided to shoot the flies instead of swatting them.
I'm just getting into my second drink, trying to find a way to get myself motivated. I'll come back later - be prepared!
Love the banana one. Very Mitch Hedberg.
May I please have the pink car..?
I'm cleaning out my food cupboard, I'll gladly trade my ants for your mice. I'll take cute over crawly any day, lol.
yeah i know the area you are talking about too. thankfully my childhood home wasn't damaged much. i would have been terribly sad over that.
haha i'd repaint that car for those girlies in the middle of the night with some horrific-cool word. xD
never load a toothpick into your pellet gun to shoot a mouse. i learned that lesson from my brother.
i had the same issues with kate beckinsale and that chick who plays hermione.
good update. glad you didn't blow away.
That was the most detailed rendition of someone's weekend I have ever read. Makes me wanna hit a garage sale.
The pigs are definitelty a nice touch.
1. I totally know the shoe store.
2. Why do ALL of the GOOD storms completely miss my hometown? Seriously - it's like we wedge apart the fronts. I guess I should be grateful for this, but I just feel like Mother Nature loves to taunt me.
3. I realized #1 before I realized you'd linked to it. Go me.
I'm very interested to see the pictures of your newly acquired Japanese sword. I used to be really into collecting swords and other militaria. $25 is 1940s era pricing for Japanese swords. They sell on the market for much more these days, especially the finer katanas.
@TheInappropriateSkirt - Yeah and you get all these science people taking your photo because they think you are the missing link.
@livexlovexlaughter - glad you lol'ed
@translucentchicka - Sweet...I am making you look weird to all the people around you.
@Rob_of_the_Sky - I hate those type of dreams when you wake up feeling disappointed and they always seem to be a precursor to the type of day I'll have.
@Peridot21 - I forgot to mention that the store had a size 23 Nike and this girl tried it on. I was laughing at her but her boyfriend looked like he wanted to hit me. I don't know why. It was cute. Then he must have saw the shoes I was packing and he backed off.
@godfatherofgreenbay - lmfao
@DickDoktorII - yeah 3 hours is a pretty good time table although this last storm wasn't moving that fast which somewhat made it more dangerous.
You know, I've heard about a guy using a 22 to shoot flies too. He also did something with using shells to put in his power box instead of a fuse.
@GodlessLiberal - And just when I finally get over Mitch, you bring him up. Have you ever noticed how many comedians came out of the Twin Cities in the early 2000s? I'm always amazed by it.
@jiazy_1 - TAKE IT!
@Melissa___Dawn - I think it's easier to get rid of ants or at least it is for me. My two cats are good at catching mice but they don't kill them. They leave that up to me. I usually trap them in a box or trash basket and then throw it outside.
@StrawberrySunrises - Oh you are from WI?
I think painting it black would be pretty badass.
@distractedbyzombies - Oh yeah, those two. I could really get behind one but not the other now that she's turned 18 hint hint.
A toothpick in a pellet gun. I hope it wasn't too gruesome like my friend and his brother with their homemade crossbow. The one brother was testing it and it misfired and the arrow ended up going into his shoulder. He pulled it out and made the other brother promise he wouldn't tell. As they are sitting in the car with their parents the mom notices blood on his shirt and asks and he tells her it's ketchup. A half hour later he's turning grey so the brother told the parents about him shooting himself.
@SuperLuc - You never know what you can find at a garage sale. I've found antique music instruments and rare baseball cards
@ZepBlueEyedGirl - The Shoe Box! You ever shop there? I was sort of taken back with all their Amish food and Madison Mallards apparel. I suppose the owner is now a sponsor so he has swag in his store.
I remember going there and seeing Badgers there. Remember Sam Okey?
@UR_MUSE - I've been finding info on it and I think it's a cavalry sword.
@godfatherofgreenbay - AAAAAAAYYYYYY....I'm a huge fan of the garage sale. I found the coolest 2' bongo once.
I gotta get more profile pics...
@SuperLuc - Try My Face When. They have a lot of face pics that I use and they are under the requirement for upload.
@godfatherofgreenbay - First I need to get more than 3 slots to put them in.
I love the one with the boys. lol
@godfatherofgreenbay - Wow! Just like that. thanks..Tehe..
@godfatherofgreenbay - Sam Okey was the MAN. For like 4 months! hahaha Then he went mental or something. What ever happened to that kid?
Least you were gone when the storms hit.
@ZepBlueEyedGirl - The last I heard, he was playing overseas somewhere but that could be heresay. I've often wanted to go down to Cassville and find out from residents where he's at. When I was a freshmen in high school, my private school was part of their conference. I also remember how every year my hometown would be in the basketball playoffs and they'd always go against Okey in the sectional finals and would lose. The last football game of the season, one of those idiotic Thursday night games, we were playing at Cassville and I remember Okey showing up and he had people crowding him asking for autographs and photos. When we ran back to the locker room, he was being interviewed by a TV crew. He wasn't even playing football. HE WAS JUST THERE! A couple of guys from our team bumped into him and said, "You ain't so tough." Well when basketball season came along, they played us at our gym which held about 2000 and it was filled way past maximum occupancy. He was held to a career low that game, 15 points, and the guy who guarded him was a sophomore and that sophomore scored 22 on Okey.
@SuperLuc - Ah, yes, one would need the premium. I think I'm at the limit.
@nattata - I figured you would
@NightlyDreams - Yeah, I should be happy about that.
love the word play, and the banana thing is genius!! hahaha
@raspberryjade - When I first saw the moray one, I laughed so hard that pretty much threw out my back.
It's never too lately to meliorate your information and your listing has me.
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