May 20, 2011

• Lukewarm Links 5/19

  This evening I was planning to go to an Amish greenhouse to buy some tomatoes and peppers for my garden.  I got about 5 or 10 minutes outside of town and I'm talking with my mom about an incident that happened while I was working last summer explaining how I had a gun pulled on me when out of nowhere a HUGE turkey glided across the road.  I came within a few feet of hitting that thing.  I'm pretty thankful I didn't hit it because it was so huge that it would have came through my windshield and probably broken my neck.  So I pulled over to watch that monster strut around a corn field acting like he owned that shit and I was nothing.  I also wanted to make sure there weren't any hens following him and I also had to make sure my heart slowed down.  I also had to tweet about it because all 4 of you had to know I almost died.  I get over to the Amish greenhouse and see a little girl jumping rope in the parking lot so I figured they were open.  I turn into the property and the girl takes off running into the greenhouse and puts the closed sign up.  We were the only vehicle there and then it hit me...it's Thursday.  That's one of the Amish days of rest, typically Thursday is a community day for weddings and funerals.  I turned around and went to another greenhouse in the country.  This one isn't Amish, it's Lutheran.  I bought tn tomato plants and ten bell pepper plants.  I'll probably go back tomorrow or Saturday to get some jalapeno pepper plants.  I just needed to get some planted before I got any more.  I also got myself 2 raspberry plants and a garlic plant.  I was going to plant garlic but they said if I planted it now it wouldn't grow so I have to plant in fall.  Remind me this fall that I have to plant my garlic.  Then I came home, watched The Office and even though it was a great episode I was disappointed.  I also learned that I shouldn't drink a lot of water after taking my evening medicine because now I am a walking firehose every ten minutes.  And how was your day?  Link time.

  1.  This might be the greatest porn site ever...It's All About Bacon.  Seriously, it's not porn, it's just bacon.  It's just so hot and makes me feel tingly...wait that's a stroke from eating so much bacon.  Why do I smell burning hair?

  2.  I remember reading somewhere where a Xangan thought she could be a stripper just because she was a good dancer.  There is so much more to stripping.  I won't tell you how I know here but if you ever want to know, message me and I'll dish.  Anyway here is a site called Life as a Stripper.  It may make you change your mind about stripping.

  3.  I enjoy Twitter and so does 50 Cent.  I'm not saying that this makes me as good as 50 Cent but I'd like to see how he works with the Amish and wild turkeys.  Anyway if you follow him on twitter (and it's hard to follow him because he's about as mush-mouthed on that as he is in his "rapping") you will notice that he likes to flirt with his female followers.  Here is a collection of some of the best at Fiddy's Biddies.  Someone needs to make a Xanga page chronicling all the times I flirt but then that would probably be used against me.  Nevermind, don't do it.

  4.  I don't really know how to build this one up.  It's a collection of cartoons about trees and different ways to see them. 

  5.  This may be one of the most interesting sites I've come across in a while.  It's a collection of 35 roles that Jim Carrey auditioned for but was not cast.  Some of those roles could have changed Carrey and made the movies more enjoyable especially Austin Powers, Garfield, The Da Vinci Code, and The Three Stooges.  And then don't get me started with the sequels.

  6.  Since Newt Gingrich has pretty much lost the GOP nomination, you better enjoy these awkward photos of Newt now before he fades into obscurity.

  7.  Do you have an iPhone, blue tooth, Fidel Castro hat, or Guitar Hero and think you're cool?  Well you're not and here's why.  There are other items on there that might apply to you so check it out. 

  8.  It's always fun to go back and see the roles today's star celebrities had before they became famous.  Well here is a collection of stars that did commercials early in their career.  Some of the stars were also well-established at the time and probably regret doing those commercials.  Why is it that all these years later I remember Jason Alexander and the McDLT?

  9.  My birthday has come and went and no one gave me a present.  THIS IS WHAT I WANT and THIS and THIS and THIS and THIS and THIS.   Remember I teach history and these would be in my classroom because they had to happen, right?

  10.  I know I posted this link before but I thought I'd revisit it because it came up in a conversation this week.  It's called Natural Harvest, a Collection of Semen Based Recipes.  OK so there are no recipes on the site and it's just a site to promote the book but the URL is sort of funny and not the mention the concept of cooking with semen. 

  11.  I think I may have found the worst website in the world.  It's called Yvette's Wedding Dresses.  Trust me, you have to see this one.

  12.  Saturday is the end of the world according to a church in Florida.  They aren't the first to predict that the world would end.  Here is a website that has chronicled many of the predictions of the world's demise that didn't pan out.  Clear out a lot of time to read all the predictions.  And don't be so quick to laugh and say it's all Christians because they aren't all Christian predictions.  There's some scientists who thought the world would end.  I look at the year I was born and see one Christian prediction, one Ba'Hai prediction, a psychic's prediction and a scientist's prediction.

  
  I love my country.
  
  It was such a good episode tonight but they could have given me a little more.  I've been watching for a couple years now.  MORE!
  
  I am actually in the mood for a caucasian.
  
  Excellent choice...now I have a craving for Arby's.  Do they still have the stuffed jalapenos and berry sauce?
  
  Am I the only one who threw up a little when I first saw this?
  
  And there is your job creation people...FOUR MORE YEARS!

  • 2:04 AM
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