July 15, 2011

• Lukewarm Links 7/14/11

  I am exhausted but I can't sleep.  I hate this feeling.  My dad came home this evening because the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong but they ruled out his heart.  My mom was pretty upset but then she finds something wrong with everything.  Nothing pleases that woman.  She is always so negative but I have to agree that the service at the hospital was lousy.  I think it's because it was a Catholic joint and we're #Lutheran and they're still upset because our boy exposed their sale of indulgences being a crock of shit.  Time for links before I create new Xanga drama.

  1.  Have you ever started a sentence with the phrase, "I'm not #racist, but..."?  I've said that a few times myself but never on facebook so I haven't been featured on I'm not racist, but.  Oh ignorance, you are so funny.

  2.  Have you ever started a sentence with the phrase, "I'm not #sexist, but..."?  I've said that a few times myself but never on facebook so I haven't been featured on I'm not sexist, but.  Oh ignorance, you are so funny.

  3.  I've come to enjoy this site called Sorry I Dropped Your Baby.  It looks at childcare from the aunt/uncle/godparent point of view.  And because I find that site funny, I will never have kids.  Well that isn't the only reason but I'll make that site the scape #goat.

  4.  I've been seeing signs all over the place around here advertising something called Harry Potter Adventure.  A local historical society has decided that kids no longer care about history so they are converting their historical re-enactment village into a Harry Potter re-enactment village for a day.  You know I'll probably end up attending or driving by and hurling insults like "You are all muggles." 

  5.  People think there's too much Xanga drama.  Earlier this week, former baseball player and drug user, Jose Canseco, posted his ex-girlfriend's cell phone number on Twitter along with a message telling people that she'll trade sex for pot.  The Miami Herald confronted #Canseco and he said he'd do it again and wasn't sorry.  Well the Miami Herald took the high road in this matter and posted Canseco's phone number.  I hear if you give him drugs he'll give you home runs.

  6.  My last Caturday post featured a photo of a cat asking "What part of carnivore don't you understand".  That got me thinking about cats' diets.  #They need meat and so I was shocked to see a website offering vegan cat food.  Is there nothing they won't ruin with veganism?

  7.  I found this epic crank text message on CrankTexts.  I've had texts come through like that accusing me of cheating but they always turned out to missdial.  I want to shake the hand of the guy that has broke up all those relationships or do I?  He's probably a walking #STD.

  8.  So there's this movie #out about friends with benefits.  Here's a handy guide on how to have one of those type friends.  I think I'm too old for something like that.

  9.  Remember how Courtney Love had a Twitter and she got in trouble for things she posted so she quit?  Remember how #CourtneyLove had a facebook and she got in trouble for things she posted so she quit?  Well Courtney Love is back in a social network and this time she went to the most crafty social networking site...ESTY.  Here's her site.  I hope to hell she starts selling things.

  10.  When I was in college, a few of my friends and I would make Simpsons references whenever something would come up.  It was always #natural and never forced.  Yes I know this makes me sound like a gigantic nerd and you know how to defriend and block me so there.  Every once in a while when I go out and about I will see something that reminds me of The Simpsons.  Well this author went to Costco and found 11 Simpsons references.  Some were forced but from now on whenever I go to Walmart I will put ranch dressing with the hoses.

  11.  And while I'm on the topic of The Simpsons, here's a site that released some leaked drawings from Film Roman of Simpsons characters as characters in Pulp Fiction.  #I really dig Milhouse's mom as Mia Wallace.

  12.  I'm not much of a fan of religious billboards along the highway because I have yet to hear of a successful conversion.  "Hey, I'm a motorist driving along this highway and I have no purpose in my life and what's that a billboard with Jesus and Bud Light?  Looks like I'm going to have one last hurrah before I give my life over to Christ."  Here are some very unfortunate Jesus billboard locations.  I was referencing #7 because I was thinking I've seen that one in #Minnesota but maybe that was a church advertising above a Miller Lite billboard.

  
  I am so eager for the NFL strike to be over but I doubt the Detroit Lions are anxious because those Random Girls will demolish them once again.  The NFL players' union must be stopped.  Where is the Tea Party outrage?
  
  Our girls are going to win some World Cup this Sunday and Hope Solo will do it looking all hot.  I wanted to say "I'd love to have her swat at my balls" but I'm not into that pain stuff.
  
  Yes, our girls are going to bring back the world c cup.
  
  Finally someone made Tumblr make sense for me.
  
  Yes, I completely understand #Tumblr.  Maybe I'll have to quit Xanga with this new-found knowledge.
  
  They really are running out of Mountain Dew flavors.
  
  I'm not sexist but that's stupid.
  
  Casey Anthony jokes will never die despite her attempts to smother them with #chloroform.
  
  Even without a foreskin I can fap...probably too much.
  
  Thanks for reading.

  • 2:09 AM
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