I was going to say something funny here but I have nothing so you get to look at tattoos.

Looks like he really does enjoy Popeyes.

Her cleavage isn't showing much loyalty.

So the story behind this one is that a group of guys had a fantasy football league and the person in last place had to get a tattoo and this was the loser's tattoo or should we say winner's tattoo.  I really do need to invest in a laser removal clinic.  I'm also thankful there's an NFL lockout so I won't be drawn into fantasy football.

Oh yeah, she's a star.  Here's a interesting fact: she is a model at the local planetarium.

How special!  I would too but you don't see me tattooing it on my body although maybe I should.  It would be good advertisement and probably help me get over this dry spell.

I bet his "famlee" is proud of that work.

I wonder if he gets money or discounts for those tattoos.

If you can't make it out, it's one of the songs from a Legend of Zelda game.  I tried playing that game and doing that tune but I guess I'm not far enough in the game.  Does anyone still play N64?

I feel his pain. 

Wait 'til she sees my death star

Hey, I get it!  I can have a 10 inch dick too if my ruler on my leg wasn't to scale.

"Fra-geel-lee"...must be an Italian tattoo.

I always thought Jesus was perfect in all aspects.  This certainly can not be the Christ I have learned about.  He looks like something Picasso might have doodled on a bulletin in church. 

Meat Curtains???? Get it????  I am sort of understanding the cobwebs and broken glass but the fly, what is up with that fly?  Oh now I think I get it but then I never get "it".

More meat curtain tattoos.  This is just too scary for even me.

Yeah I sort of compiled this one.

1. Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo?
I would hope they would use both to cleanse the pores and then they'd have to liberally apply the turtle wax to get a nice shine.

2.  Would you ever have plastic surgery?
No but as I age I'm considering lipo or because I'm lonely I was thinking of getting lipo and ribs removed.

3.  Describe to us what you wear when you sleep.
Well I usually wear a pair of gym shorts and a smile

4.  Can you roll your tongue?
No but I'm looking for a wife who can

5.  What did you dream last night?
I think last night was the first time in a while that I didn't dream

6.  Do you think the media sensationalizes things? (i.e. Casey Anthony)
Of course they do all in the name of ratings and not innocent until proven guilty

7.  Are you racist?
As if anyone will answer this question...no, I'm a lot like Crayola

8.  What is the best way to begin a conversation with a member of the opposite sex?
Nice shoes, where did you get them?

9.  What type of porn is most enjoyable?
The type that doesn't make me cry because it makes me feel alone

10.  Do you think illegal drugs should be legalized?
Some.  I think we should legalize crystal meth, LSD, and crack but forget weed, that stuff is a gateway drug.

11.  What was your easiest course in school?
It was social studies and religion.

12.  What was the most difficult course for you?
Latin but once I got the hang of it...look out.  I also hated science courses

13.  What was your favorite course during school?
German, Russian history, a class about minorities because this one kid made me laugh and every time I think of it I actually laugh out loud...he said that he understood the sufferings of African Americans because he was a waiter at Denny's

14.  Would you rather be known for saving 500 people’s lives or being the sexiest person in your town?
I'd like to be known for saving the lives because then girls may find that sexy and I could save a girl's life and trick her into marrying me.

15.  Would you rather have an alarm clock that woke you by dousing you with ice water or one that shook your bed violently?
ice water because then I'd get woken up and have a bath all in one shot.

16.  If you could fly, how would you fly? (i.e. fairy dust, wings, cape etc.)
There was this one time in grade school when we were having track practice and I was staring at my girlfriend's butt and of course I became engorged.  There is a point to this.  I was wearing a pair of shorts and my dick didn't want to stay in place.  I was called to run and my dick made it's way out and started flapping around like a helicopter.  So...helicopter dick.

17.  If your body odor was a food scent, what would that scent be?
eggs benedict and chicken kiev

18.  What is the strangest food you have ever eaten?
see I don't think any food is strange but people cringe when I talk about eat caviar or alligator.  I think the thing that grosses people out the most is eating a raw deer heart after I killed the deer.

19.  How many pets have you had throughout your life?
4, 3 cats and 1 dog

20.  What do you do when you receive bad service at a restaurant?
I will sit there all calm and not tip unless it's bad food.  I'll tell the waitress that it was bad and I'll tip her because it wasn't her fault.

21.  Do you enjoy the smell of your own farts?
No, this evening I learned that Italian sausage and gnoochi are a lethal combination

22.  Have you ever popped another person’s zits?
No, some things are sacred

23.  Have you ever let another person pop your zits?
No, out a guy popped one without asking me.  I was in high school and the guy came into my dorm room.  I was sleeping shirtless on my stomach and had one on my shoulder.  That was a hell of a way to wake up.

24.  When was the last time that you got dressed up in formal attire?
two Sundays ago

25.  Why did you get dressed up in formal attire?
I went to church and didn't want to feel like some sort of fake Christian who wears jeans and t-shirts to church

26.  When showering, what body part do you wash first?
My left arm

27.  Who was the most beautiful teacher you ever had?
This is nearly impossible for me because my kindergarten teacher was in her 60s, preschool teacher in her 70s, 1st and 2nd grade teacher had an afro, 3rd and 4th teacher was sexist because she hated boys, I think in all my high school years I only had three female teachers one was a drunk, one was a man-hater, and the other was 500lbs and farted in the middle of class.  In college I had a piano teacher that was decent but I hated piano so no go.  I think the only teachers I'd consider beautiful were the T.A.s

28.  Why haven’t you made out with @godfatherofgreenbay yet?
My lips can't be inverted

29.  What is the strangest talent you possess?
I drink liquids quickly

30.  Do you parallel park or drive around the block hoping extra spaces will open up?
Because I drive an SUV and find it difficult to parallel park it I drive around or I just find a place where I can park and walk

31.  Which shoe do you put on first, the right or the left?
Left

32.  List one thing that all your ex’s have in common.
They all wore the same perfume

33.  Have you ever been cow-tipping or snipe hunting?
Snipe hunting is the best, I retired from cow-tipping.

34.  Do you think of @godfatherofgreenbay before you fall asleep?
I think about things I want to post or say but never do

35.  Has anyone written a song or a piece of poetry about you?
the closest I've had is someone gave me a mix CD where every song was supposedly about me

36.  Have you found anything disgusting in your parents’ bedroom?
I found my dad's drug paraphernalia and condoms.  I would've said porn but for some strange reason he kept it in cardboard boxes in my closet.

37.  List any nicknames that you have been given.
Tank, Wurm, Tiny...that one hurts

38.  When was the last time you played air guitar?  What was the song?
Today, "Free as a Bird" by The Beatles

39.  What is the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
Let a friend urinate out of the passenger window.  I almost crashed because I was laughing so hard.

40.  How many drinks does it take for you to become drunk?
I haven't really tried this but if I keep up a regular pace then it could take about 20 to 30.

41.  How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
42 and don't even argue

42.  How often do you clean out your ears?
Every day, I need something to do to keep me occupied while in the bathroom

43.  Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
I had nasal problems when I was a kid and the doctor looked up my nose and said, "Well here's your problem." He pulled out a balloon.

44.  Have you ever stuck a foreign object in your ear?
I had to be taken to the emergency room to have an orange seed removed

45.  Describe for us your most embarrassing situation.
A friend and I went with my parents to visit a high school I planned on attending.  It was a private school and my parents told us to be on our best behavior.  My friend and I took that to mean that we had free reign to be asses.  We were at Pizza Hut for lunch before our scheduled tour and my friend and I started acting like we were wrestling...throwing fake punches and elbows.  Well he threw a punch at me and I started acting like I was knocked out and I staggered and fell into a door.  I fell into the fire exit and set it off.  Everybody was staring and then the cops showed up and then the fire department.  Then there was the time I was in football and one of my teammates who was a freshman was complaining of having a hurt finger.  He thought it was broken so I said, "Let me take a look." He held up his hand and I blurted out, "Holy shit, dude! No wonder your finger hurts, it's missing."  He was born with only 4 fingers.

46.  List any phobias that you have.
I'm not looking up the terms but I fear birds and spiders and spider-birds.

47.  If you had to shove anything up your butt that was round, what would it be?
An alien probe because it would mean that I'm special. 

48.  Have you ever urinated or defecated in your pants?
There was this one time when I was playing football in high school and it was about 10 degrees.  The temps dropped unexpectedly and I was out there in my uniform.  Pee was the only thing that kept me warm that game.

49.  Is it OK for a grown man to admit he enjoys Coldplay?
Never and not even Coldplay cover songs

50.  What is your go to name when you forget someone’s name? (i.e. bud, man, chief, etc.)
Man, dude, guy, fella

51.  Have you had your wisdom teeth removed?
I had them removed when I started high school which would explain why I did so many stupid things.

52.  Do you whip your hair back and forth?
not the hair on my head

53.  Describe the outfit you are currently wearing. 
blue semi-mesh gym shorts

54.  What would you do if the person you were kissing had bad breath?
Keep on kissing...it's been too long to care.

55.  List 4 celebrities with whom you would like to have carnal relations.
Olivia Munn, Ellen Page, Zooey Deschanel but I don't know since she is a vegan and considers human beings to be animals and she can't swallow anything that comes from an animal, Sarah Silverman, Angel Melaku

56.  Do you currently feel like someone is watching you?  Why did you just look over your shoulder? 
My cats are staring at me.  I looked because my new air conditioner is talking to me again.

57.  What is your beverage of choice?
Honestly, I've been drinking so much water but I think my go-to drink is surprisingly not alcohol but root beer.  I love a good root beer.

58.  Name three material items that you currently wish you owned.
I've been craving a boat.  I also would love to have one of them 3D TVs.  I'd also like a wife.

59.  How many car accidents have you had?  How many moving citations have you incurred?
I have had 5 accidents, 4 involved deer.  I have been pulled over for a loud stereo and was pulled over for going too fast because a guy sped up when I tried to pass him and the cop saw my and blocked me from exiting my car at a gas station, he read me the riot act and let me go.  I got a written warning for doing 55 in a 25, I told the cop I was excited because I finally had access to my accounts after having my identity stolen and the cop also knew I contributed a substantial amount of money to the police department.

60.  What is your favorite sound?
Probably "Dark Side of the Moon" or geese flying over my house in the morning as I go to school

61.  What is your favorite scent?
Women, gasoline, and that perfume

62.  What is your porn star name? (first name= first pet’s name, last name= street name where you currently reside -or- first name=your middle name last name=first pet’s name or some combination))
George Mechanic or Edward George

63.  What is your Star Wars name? (first name=first 3 letters of your name and the first 2 letters of your middle name, last name= first 2 letters of your mother’s maiden name plus the first 3 letters of the name of the town where you were born, honorary title= reverse the last 3 letters of your last name add the make or model of your first car you owned or drove then write “of” and the name of the last medication you took)
Mated Slhil, Respontiac of Zinc

64.  What is your favorite social network?
That one with the kid from Superbad, the fidgety kid who was also in Youth in Revolt.  I think it was called The Social Facebook Movie.

65.  Would you ever want to date @godfatherofgreenbay?
He's pretty much a jerk so no

66.  Please describe your body.
I am fat, out of shape (well I guess that is redundant if I said I was fat), undersexed, balding, glasses, haven't shaved in a few days, hairy chest but not Magnum P.I. levels of chest hair.

67.  Why did you do this survey?
Because people told me I should write one and then I thought that I had better fill it out so that other people can see how enjoyable it is

68.  Did you feel awkward answering these questions?
Yes, because awkward is my middle name.  Actually it's not but it does rhyme with awkward

69.  Why do you love @godfatherofgreenbay?
because he buys me things and gives the best handjobs

Bernie is coming for you.

Only when he leaves Milwaukee

Well when he leaves Milwaukee next season he won't field because he'll be a DH and bloat up just like his father.

Thank you to a certain Wisconsinite who reads this site.

That's pretty much what's going on.