July 25, 2011

• Homework Assignment 7/18

  Class, I enjoyed reading the answers to your last homework assignment.  I made notes of some of the books listed and I put them on my queue for the local library and will read them in due time.  Thank you for so many good suggestions.  You grade is an A-.  Why an A-?  Because it's hot and I'm surly.  If you argue, it will just go down.

  Here's your next homework assignment:
  

  

  I'm hoping this is an easy assignment and I hope all of you will participate.  I am going easy on you because of the heat and I don't like to correct when it's hot. 

  Now get to work

  Since I had enough people participate here are some facts about me.  Class you made me proud so here's some facts about me, Matt.

  1. When I was younger I was able to slam dunk. Most people look at me and would think otherwise but being able to squat 600lbs and leg curl 300lbs helps develop the muscles needed for dunking.  I also could do a 1000lb hip sled and maxed out at 425lbs for a bench.

  2. At the height of their popularity, I wore nothing but Zubaz pants.  During that year of school I don't think I owned even one pair of jeans.

  3. I wear size 17(the American sizing chart, in Europe that's a size 53) for my shoes.  It is damn near impossible to buy shoes.  Most shoe stores only carry to a 12 or 13.  I have to go to a store that deals with the Wisconsin Badgers.  I remember my shoe size was always a source of rumors on the bus.  Yes, I rode the bus in high school.  I lived away from home during high school and my parents wouldn't let me have a car because they couldn't keep tabs on the car if I was away.  Anyway a group of girls asked me my height and my shoe size.  I told them and then I heard giggling and then gasps and then muffled, "I really want to see it."  I always tried to figure out their devil's math but they refused to tell me.

  4. I once got drunk at a party.  A friend and I coerced our designated driver to take us to a 24 hour grocery store.  Once inside I was stumbling around.  The dd tried to get me to sit down but I screamed, "I WANT CHEESE BECAUSE I'M FROM WISCONSIN!"  The check out guy gave me one of the motorized carts and all hell broke loose.  Driving up and down the aisles screaming, "Look at me!"  My friend crashed his cart into a bread display and I started laughing so hard I cried.  It was a fun time and I think our dd broke up with her boyfriend because she realized we were the type of people he hung out with.

  5. I once wrote a pamphlet detailing how to survive a zombie attack that I posted around my home town.

  6. I had chicken pox three times as a child.  It has left my skin allergic to numerous things which include nickel, ink, and Ivory soap. 

  7. I currently have 3 piercings, two in my left ear and my eyebrow.  I once had up to 8.  5 in the ear, eyebrow, navel and my thingee.  I worried about infection and my thingee falling off so that one came out plus it hurt to walk.  I accidentally ripped my navel piercing out and 3 of my ear piercings got really hard and my ear started growing over the studs so I took them out.

  8. I enjoy movies.  I have 1126 DVDs.  Thank you Blockbuster for being unsuspecting about my rental activities and thank you to the inventor of DVD burners.

  9. I admire James K. Polk.  He accomplished all his goals as president in 4 years so he didn't seek another term. 

  10. I have a fear of birds.  I was divebombed while on vacation as a kid and the bird crapped all over my face.  Also, my aunt and uncle raised parrots and they would attack me.  Birds hate me so I avoid them at all costs.

  11. I had 8 myspace accounts and 3 facebook accounts.  I enjoy making fake accounts even though it is against their terms.  I no longer check myspace and barely go on facebook.  I also creeped out my students with myspace because I was a member before the "boom".  I heard about it because I am such a devoted Weezer fan and Rivers Cuomo released "Tomorrow" from Annie on his so I just had to hear it.
  

  12. The hardest thing I ever taught in my teaching career was sex ed to sophomores.  I taught it in a religion class so you can guess how we handled sex.  Anyway two jokers ask me questions that stuck with me:  "Mr. W, I'm a male and I know Jesus was a male and as a male certain things happen...well do you think Jesus ever got boners?"  "Mr. W, is S&M sinful?"  Maybe I should also include all the times I was asked if oral sex "counted".

  13. I miss Hunter S Thompson and Kurt Vonnegut.

  14. I was in choir for 7 semesters in college.
  

  15. I have had 5 car accidents in my driving career.  4 of those accidents involved deer.  I think it was some karmic thing because I hunt.  When I shot my first deer, I ate its heart in the field so its spirit became a part of me.

  16. I enjoy roller derby.  I think it was more of a thing for seeing women fighting in roller skates and skirts.  I dig the alternative look girls.  I also dig ladies who work on cars.  I'm weird

  17.  It's 13 inches long...my forearm.

  18.  It's 10 inches in circumference...my wrist

  19.  This is 12 inches...my fist

  20.  I wear a size 15 ring.

  21.  I have 22 inch biceps and I'm sad because I haven't beat Hulk Hogan's 24 inch pythons

  22.  My calf muscles are 26 inches...see #1.

  • 10:36 PM
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