August 12, 2011
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Lukewarm Links 8/11/11
I really am despising Xanga right about now. I’m just glad I’m not popular here and sit in my own little corner and do my thing but it sucks when fights flood my inbox. Oh well, nothing I can do about stupidity or hypocrisy. Maybe I actually do one of those friends list purges. Hmmm maybe I say if you want to remain friends comment at the end of this post. Anyway, my day was interesting. I did work on the farm for a while this afternoon and then had to take my aunt to a doctor’s appointment. On the way home I was starting to smell quite rank and without air conditioning in the car I was getting worse. Well I sped up so I could get home and into a shower. Red and blue flashing lights. “License and registration.” “Here you go.” “Do you know why I pulled you over?” “Yes, ma’am I mean officer. I was speeding and I have no excuse other than I wanted to get home and shower because I was on the farm and I apologize for offending your nose because I’m sure you can smell me about right now and I’m sorry if I am talking really fast because I talk really fast when I’m nervous and I’m not nervous because I have anything to hide I’m just nervous because I don’t get pulled over often.” “Well slow down. I won’t give you a ticket or warning this time but you have to promise to slow down.” “Yes, ma’am I mean officer.” “You are quite charming and don’t smell that bad.” Miracles do happen. Maybe she was a chubby chaser.
1. I like the 60s Spiderman meme. I was joyed to know that there was one for G.I. Joe featuring Cobra Commander. I just wish it would take off.
2. This may be one of my favorite tumblrs. It’s called I Lost All the Money and it documents major fails on game shows.
3. You know I’ve begun to think that hipsters are like vampires and if you surround yourself with things that hipsters hate then you will drive them away. Vampires have garlic and here are things that hipsters hate.
4. Since the police can’t control the London rights, they have taken to the internet asking people to rat out the rioters. Here is the site called Identify the London Rioters. While I don’t condone the rioting I also don’t condone the police taking to the internet to have people do their work for them. In a forum I’ve found that people have been more than helpful with police.
5. So apparently someone got the idea that since some adult puppet show had two gay puppets get married that Sesame Street should have two closeted characters get married. Here is an online petition for Bert and Ernie to get married. The only bad part is Sesame Street has said that Bert and Ernie aren’t gay so sign away because they won’t get married. See this is where people come up with that term “Gay Agenda”. Why can’t they just leave them be? THEY ARE FUCKING MUPPETS NOT HUMANS!
6. Newsweek caused quite a stir this week with their cover of Michelle Bachmann with “crazy eyes”. Well here’s a collection of hot chicks who have Michelle Bachmann eyes. I have the weirdest boner.
7. Here is a collection of shoe failures. I’m thankful that none of those come in my size…not that I’d buy any.
8. Are you ready for football? Well I am. I’m ready for the NFL and college and also the EFLI. You don’t know the EFLI? It’s the Elite Football League of India. They hired an advertising firm to help design the logos and uniforms. I have to say I think I’m going to be a fan of the Goa Swarm or the Mumbai Gladiators or maybe even the Bhubaneswar Warhawks.
9. I am ready for the NFL season. I found this list of the best Green Bay Packers players’ nicknames to be highly entertaining. The Ginger Wolverine is going to tear through the league to help the Packers defend their Super Bowl title.
10. I am ready for the NFL season…did I mention I like football? Sometime during last season a new uniform for the Washington Redskins made it’s way on to the internet and people were horrified. In 2012, Nike is replacing Reebok as the league’s official jersey supplier. All these designs then came out there were supposedly going to be Nike’s recommendations for new uniforms. Well it turns out that they are fake. They are still fun to look at so here are all the uniforms. the worst: a toss-up between the Patriots and the Redskins and Vikings and Steelers. The best: Green Bay of course with the Cardinals and Bengals a distant second and third.
11. Recently I went to a friend’s apartment and was appalled at how messy it was but then I found this collection of messy houses and realized his place was nothing compared to these. That is like Hoarders.
12. I have been looking at buying pepper plants for my garden next year because my plants this year didn’t turn out so well. I came across a website advertising a pepper called Chilli Willy. I’m thinking if I planted this one the neighbors really would talk about me.
I was going to have a vlog here but I fell asleep this evening so enjoy these photos.
Sometimes, plumber crack can be very hot.
The Tea Party is set to release a sex tape involving the Statue of Liberty and Uncle Sam. They are going to release it to help America find a new revenue source and expose America’s declining morals. You know America really could pull itself out of the hole if our elected officials put out more sex tapes.
Keep your friends close and your enemas closer. The doctor’s only concern with this is when the expiration date is.
Mein Führer?
It should have said “cats”. Have a good night.
Comments (18)
You didn’t follow-up by asking for her phone number?!
I don’t imagine the good tips will outweigh the bad tips on that London Rioters site. Oi.
I think she saw the size of your… hands.
Pweese don’t purge me! I come to you for my nightly laughs before I hit the hay! Keep me oh keep me, pweese keep me as a friend! (Is that enough begging? Or should I do some more?)
I love your “ma’am, officer” story! Way to go! And you didn’t even have to show your chest or any other thing! Good thing your charm was showing!
#2 was interesting.
Enjoyed #7. I would actually wear a few of those shoes.
#5 I always thought Bert and Ernie should make it “legal”.
#11 Wow! Ack! Egads! Disgustingly disgusting!
#12 Ha! I need to plant some weeny chilly willies next summer, too!
Pussy…cats…we knew what you really meant!
Love your link posts! Fun!
HUGS!
I can see you charming your way out of a ticket
Don’t purge me, but I guess you won’t because I commented on this post.
Thanks for the links!
you’re popular in my book. did you notice the gifts i’ve sent weren’t tainted? foo ball?? no – you needed more caps to indicate you adore the fooball. yes, plumber’s crack can indeed bee smoldering. I do care that london riots but i’ve about a 53% chance of guess faces correctly and thus I’m marginally better off doing that versus flipping a coin! – if YOU”D LIKE TO CHECK please do so *as in your own skill and expertise…. however we won’t be repeating a-at least not me one of those mechanical abilities tests…oi that was lemmin afternoon ropeless repelling practice-worthy *5%
oh, please don’t purge me- I be a good lil’ josh.
Are Chilly Willies kosher? They look circumcised to me
Cats? Really? I mean… really? Hehe…
you should have asked for the cop’s number. She’ll get you out of tickets in the future.
I had a conversation with my mom about the Michelle Bachmann cover. I asked her why people thought it was sexist. “Because it makes her look like a loony,” she said. But… she IS a loony. I don’t see the issue…?
@Prolixity_Split - I think I was way to nervous and trying to figure out how much my ticket would be and then too relieved. I may see her again and offer her a coffee if I happen upon her beat.
@SasGal - yeah my trembling hands because I was so nervous
@AdamsWomanFell - I guess I was just getting frustrated with things on Xanga between maybe like 3 or 4 people. It’s just sickening. Anyway, I’ll get over it.
@opticalnoise - No, I probably won’t do that. I was just speaking out of frustration because of crap that goes down here and questioning why certain people have friended me.
@starmanjones - OK as long as you promise to behave. Yes, I forgot about the gifts and once again you made me feel bad because I haven’t went out and bought part of what I was planning on doing for a return favor.
@Sir_Sparrow - that I do not know. Here I thought they looked pretty non-kosher to me but then I’ve never seen an un-kosher one but the sample size is my own.
@RestlessButterfly - yep, cats.
@faustuosa - well maybe I will find her in her speed trap and offer her a coffee while she is doing paperwork.
@carolinavenger - honestly when I first saw the photo, I didn’t know who she was. I was pretty creeped out by it. I held up my copy of Newsweek and those eyes follow me wherever I walk in the house. It reminds me of this photo of the principal of my high school. I went to private school and was set to live at his house right behind the school but a few days before school started he was killed in a car accident. Anyway his wife let me and two other guys live at the house for the school year. At the funeral at school they didn’t have a casket because they did all that at a private ceremony. All they had was a giant photo of the principal on the stage. Well his wife was given that photo and she put it on one of the walls and when you walked around in the house his eyes followed you wherever you walked. It was so unnerving.
You were really lucky not to get a ticket and being honest and upfront about it was really good. Lucky indeed.
But yeah that riot list is so funny. I don’t think they’ll be ratting out anyone seriously, though I’ve always thought Bert and Ernie were gay. I don’t know why but I’ve always felt like they were, you know?
Yeah, xanga can be down right evil and mean.
@Hinase - I’ve often had police friends tell me that if you are honest when pulled over the better your chances of getting out of a ticket will be. I’ve been pulled over 4 times now and the worst I got was a written warning but the cop said he didn’t want to give me anything but had to because I was speeding in a residential section. I told the truth and said I wasn’t paying attention to my speed because I was so excited to get access to my money because I had my identity stolen and it also helped that I donated money to the police department.
I’ve figured that too but when I was a kid I just thought they were friends. I didn’t really understand the relationship aspect. Why do we need to force that on kids and these characters?
@godfatherofgreenbay - Sounds like a plan. I wouldn’t drive around speeding and hope she pulls you over again, though.
@Prolixity_Split - that would make for a good sitcom idea…wait, it’s been done.
@godfatherofgreenbay - Yeah that does remind me of the story about how my uncle was dishonest about speeding and was given a ticket for it especially when the cop told him, it would of been okay if he was honest because it was during new years eve and he was more worried about drunk drivers.
Yeah, I mean I don’t see the point either because most young kids won’t really understand too much. I mean if they have to do it, why not a little later down the line in a more appropriate setting that deals with relationships and life styles? Kids shows aren’t suppose to be a venue for any of that, just to teach your words and colors and concepts that kids can understand.
@godfatherofgreenbay - lol. gift means just that- no need of swift or any in fact return. I will point out i adore what the post people bring…don’t you dare laugh to hard and hire a few from the cereal makers to swoop over and ply me with breakfast carbs… II’m wise to that…post as in th correspondance and other itemry we get near daily.
@godfatherofgreenbay - You watch too much television. I have no idea what sitcom you’re referring to…