August 15, 2011
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Homework Assignment 8/8
Class, I read your previous assignment and was quite pleased with your answers. I knew there would be a lot of movies made about Xanga but I didn't realize there would be so much porn. I wish I could say that Xanga porn is original but it's not, at least it's not original since I saw the sex tape of two Xangans. Thank you for participating in this week's assignment. Your grade is a B+. There is always room for improvement class. If you want extra credit make sure you ask me.
Here is this week's assignment:
Make sure you clearly answer all the questions.
Get to work.
My answer:
1. My cats. I will lump them together as one item because it's my assignment and I can do that. I would have to rescue them because cats are stupid territorial creatures who would run into a burning building because they feel safer on their turf than outside in a place they don't know.
2. My guns. I need to provide food for myself because a fire would destroy my food.
3. My sports cards. I could quite possible buy a new house if I saved this collection.
4. My 30+ year old bottle of scotch. This bottle was aged and presented to my father on the day of my birth. He didn't drink scotch so I took it. I have been saving it for something momentous in my life but haven't found anything as of yet that would meet the opening of a bottle of scotch that old. Maybe if I got married...quit laughing.
5. My jackalope. Do you have a jackalope? No? Well that is why I need my jackalope.
Comments (48)
1. My bong/weed: that shit is traumatic. I'm gonna need to smoke a ton to get over the fact that all my shit's gone.
2. My unicorn. Shit's soft. It'd make a great pillow. Also my best friend gave it to me. <3
3. My venetian masquerade mask hand-made, imported from Venice, Italy. It was for my 16th birthday, which was a house party/MasqueRave and was not only one of the best nights of my life, but I also figure that since I paid a shit ton for the mask (with real crystals) I could sell it to get back on my feet after..
4. A bag with some random 5-second last minute prep, stuff like some underwear/shirts/shorts, deodorant, toothbrush, etc.
5. My phone charger. This one should be pretty obvious.
I save my coors cookbook my reader's digest back to basic book, a deck of cards as the shelter's boring my meds bag or I'm just as in danger and my wallet as I've seriously regretted not trotting back for it last fire.
My phone and my computer (for connectivity), the foamboard poster of Tyler Hansbrough that hangs next to my bed (because it hung in student stores for almost a year and everyone wanted it and I still can't believe I have it), my memory foam pillow (because I have a hard time sleeping on pillows that aren't mine), and the red moleskine notebook I keep on my nightstand (because it means a lot to Rob of the Sky and I).
Five things I would save, assuming my roommates and their pets could get out under their own power...
1. My notebook. Whichever one is current, at the time my house is burning down. Right now it's a red one with black sharpie drawing all over it, but that one's getting pretty full... I write something in it every day, whether it's a poem or a story idea or just an observation on the world. It basically contains my life, and I need it to feel right.
2. My stuffed tiger. My little brother gave it to me, and it carries a lot of sentimental value.
3. My t-shirt and shorts combo. I sleep naked, so this is the first thing I throw on in the morning, or when I need to leave my room. My guess is, it's the first thing I'd grab in the, if you'll excuse the pun, heat of the moment when I need to get dressed and get OUT.
4. My phone. Have to call 911, my best friend, my mother, and a couple of other people to make sure I've got ways to survive.
5. My purse. Wallet, keys, smokes, lighter, etc... that's all in my purse every day. So if I grabbed my purse, I'd have the basics for survival-- access to moneys, a way to drive my car away from the blaze, and a way to calm the fuck down.
1. My laptop
2. Phone
3. My humidor that has all my cigars and pipe stuff.
4. Wallet
5. Anything that I can manage to scoop up in my arms as I flee death.
1 All my art , 2 all my movie, 3 all of my picter, 4 all of my gun, 5 get the other stuilf if i can
I can't really imagine having time for that after grabbing my dog and dragging my grandma away from her stuff, but here goes:
1)Clothing, because nobody wants to see that
2)My bag which contains wallet, car keys, inhaler--all the important bits.
3)The dagger my father made for me.
4)The afghan my great-grandmother made for me.
That's about it. I don't know why I have all this crap.
1. Netbook - need to feed my Xanga addiction
2. Passport - I'm still itching to move out of America so the passport is necessary
3. Wallet - money, obviously, and identification
4. Wooden keepsake box containing Europe souvenirs - I'd feel like a piece of me died if that want up in flames
5. Duffle bag filled with clothes - I hate clothes shopping and I don't want to have to start building up my wardrobe from scratch
Cat because she's my baby
dog because he's too stupid to leave on his own
photos because i can't remember anything without prompts
the safe because i don't know what's in it but i'm sure it would be important to my parents
and my brother because he probably would sleep threw it.
My violin, my cat, my other cat, my dog, and probably my phone. The first four are the most important things to me (not in order of most importance), and a phone would come in handy. But, then again, maybe it would be more worthwhile to grab some clothes...
All 4 of my cats (living things first), my laptop because all my pictures are on it - everything else can be replaced.
Purse - It's got a lot of important shit in it.
Folder of important shit - Paperwork and shit that I don't want on the computerHard drive (who really has time for the whole freaking computer?) - Other important shit, nude pictures and porn for when I get lonely in my new place and have nothing but a stolen computer to keep me company.Piano (saved time by just taking the hard drive) - Sentimental shit I could eventually sell.Marshmallows - I might get hungry while watching the rest of my shit burn.
If I knew my family was in trouble they'd come first then:
Cat-because I couldn't live without him.
Camera-because I can't afford a new one and it is something I would never want to lose.
Shoes-because I don't think I'd like to leave without them. Feet need some protection.
Only four but then the rest isn't all that important compared to my family and cat.
1. The fireproof safe, because important docs are in it and I'm not taking any chances even if it is fireproof.
2. My purse, arguably more important contents there than in the fireproof safe, and exceptionally un-fireproof.
3. My phone. Someone has to call 911, and update my FB status to read "OMG THE HOUSE IS ON FIIIIIRRRRRRE!"
4. Shoes, because being homeless is bad but being shoeless too would send me right off the deep end.
5. I'll wake my husband up on my way out the window, so that's five things.
You said items, so i'm not writing down my children since they're hopefully already saved and out of the house. I would save all of our birth certificates, my laptop, photo albums, camera and my daughter's art.
1. My dog.
2. Photos of my children.
3. Old trunk of mementos, letters, etc., from relatives who have passed on.
4. Artwork/framed photos from friends.
5. My computer with all my writing, photos, etc. on it.
You saw a vid of two Xangans whoopieeing!!?!?!?!??!
Darn, I miss out on all the good stuff!
HUGS and Good assignment, Teach!
5 of my favorite books.
I'd save my whole fucking house like a sane person.
ok, here's the thing... your homework posts are always interesting... however, i have a headache over my right eye, so i am sorry to inform you that i will not be able to finish this assignment, teach.
... i will rec it tho. 
1 A jar of pickles
2 A toothbrush
3 My collection of SI swimsuit issues
4 A pair of shoes
5 A credit card
I'll give my cat the benefit of the doubt and say he can escape safely on his own.
1. Laptop: It stores ALL my pictures and writing. It would be tragic if I lost it.
2. Computer tower: I've put too much money into this thing to let it go. It stores my entire music collection and every graphic/random artwork I've ever collected. Plus all past literature papers/essays/homework. Vital shit.
3. Purse: Because it's a bitch to get a new license and I hate the DMV.
4. Spirit hood: Because I'm running out of things to grab and I just wasted $140 on the damned thing.
5. Glitter gun: So I can glitz people as I run from the flames.
Luckily, most of my stuff is in storage right now
So I can save the fun stuff.
since most of my family have been evacuated at least once (fire season in S. Cal is no joke),I've already thought about this.
1. my cats (no need to explain this one to you) 2. my folder of important papers (life ins. birth certificate etc) 3. my photos (BC before computers) 4. my laptop (only because I have alot of photos on it) 5. my purse (has my phone, wallet, camera, car keys)
@Aloysius_son - Great list!
I just realized I forget to tell WHY I would take what I'd take. So I may be getting an "F" on this assignment. Or sent to the principal's office. 
I just realized I forgot to tell my WHY'S and so I rushed back here!
1. My dog: he's my sweet, bestest, funnest friend!
2. Photos: my children and certain photos are very special to me. some of these particular photos are irreplaceable.
3. Trunk and mementos: the trunk is almost 100 years old and everything in it is special to me.
4. Artwork: this particular artwork is from very special friends and I would hate to see it lost.
5. New Computer: because of all my writing on it, photos, info, etc. I loves my computer!
I hope I don't get counted down or sent to time-out or sent to the principal's office.
Having had a house fire, I had to give
this much thought. Assuming all living creatures have escaped...
1)my half-assed survival backpack. It
has essentials in it.
2)my sketch books. They are the record
of my life. (I count these as one item since their all together and
will fit in the above)
3)my Little Beggar Dog stuffed animal.
It has survived one blaze and it just wouldn't be right to let it go
through another.
4)my comforter that I've had forever.
It's home. (it's also falling apart but it's MINE!)
5)the turquoise and silver rosary that
my grandmother gave me before she passed. Lapsed Catholic and all,
it comforts me.
But honestly, I'd probably be busy
running around saving everybody else's crap and burn.
@AdamsWomanFell - We are spose to tell why?!??
Uh... Pickles, cuz I likes pickles
Tooth brush, so I can polish my silverware, which is going to be all covered with soot after the fire
My collection of SI swimsuit issues, cuz theres pictures of... um ... beaches and I like pictures of beaches.
A pair of shoes, cuz after the fire when I go back to the house I don't want to step on a hot coal and burn my little feetsies
And a credit card cuz that jat of pickles aint gonna last forever, and I am gonna have to buy another jar.
If you wasted timeworking out what time you had, then you probably don't have time to save five items. You better work out what time you have left again.
Husband, Maxy, Marvin, Annie, Ginger. That makes the count: human, cat, cat, cat, cat. They are my life and all the rest of the shit doesn't matter.
@bloggicus_maximus - What is your cigar of choice?
@MassiveVortex - I suppose bongs can be quite expensive
@starmanjones - I forgot my wallet...oops
@opticalnoise - when I was a kid and complained how I was always hot, by the way my body temperature is always high so I'm always hot, I would end up sitting in just a pair of shorts much like right now and my parents would yell that if we had a fire then I would look ridiculous with only a pair of shorts.
@dmcx - how many guns do you have
@lanney - shoot I forgot my inhaler, I'd probably need that with all the smoke
@Cestovatelka - oh man you made me remember my European souvenirs. A friend of mine went to Lithuania on his honeymoon and he found some Nazi money in a antiques shop and a Russian officer's cigarette case. Oh and I also have a Japanese officer's sword from WWII but I guess that isn't quite European.
@NightlyDreams - I forgot the photos. I need to get busy and scan more and then put them on flash drives.
@randaness - well I didn't know you played violin
@Melissa___Dawn - I wonder if I'd be able to corral my cats because at the sight of danger they like to hide in places I can't reach.
@SasGal - now these nude pics, are they yours? I'd think that some of my porn would go up in the fire because that's the only way I could part with it. Maybe I have a problem. I still have the first magazines I bought when I turned 18.
@StrawberrySunrises - I'd hope you'd take your camera. Isn't that your job?
@girlForgetful - I forgot my phone and shoes. I'd need shoes because my size isn't readily available.
@ShamrockLover - I like the inclusion of the art. I think my mom threw all of mine away after about a day or two of display although she has kept some of my "larger" projects like a cross I made in 4th grade.
@AdamsWomanFell - yes, I saw a video, it was rather entertaining (please post more if you are still together and reading). I wonder if I'd have time to grab my computer and lug it out of the house.
@bmojsilo - And those are?
@Rob_of_the_Sky - *slow clap*
@Aloysius_son - I'd think my pickles would be the cause of the fire. I put some of my jalapenos in my dill pickles and they are quite hot. And even though you didn't do the why portion I will give you an A+ for the SI swimsuit admission.
@jmeLove_x - I'm sure the fire fighters would love glitter on their uniforms.
@comet555 - I'm amazed by how many people would save photos. I guess cameras weren't big in my family. I think the only photos my parents have of me are photos taken at school.
@mtears - wow, thanks for sharing, I've wondered if people who had house fires would answer and if they saved things.
@Aloysius_son - oops, I saw your answer on the next page, now you get an AA+ because you are by default American.
@Sir_Sparrow - well I was thinking of just things I would automatically grab without thought.
@ExposedWrists - great answer, miss.
@godfatherofgreenbay - I'm actually really into the Padron 10 Year Anniversary sticks that come in the gold tubes. I can't find any anymore, so I stick with Oliva V lanceros.
@godfatherofgreenbay - sounds like my mother; oh the lectures on how I'd look if the worst were to happen!
My favorite was when I started driving, my mom said if I ever got in an accident I better be wearing clean underwear.
REALLY???
@bloggicus_maximus - I have 4 humidors filled with Frank Sinatras, Kahluas, Sherpas, a few Eggs and many other varieties. Even though I no longer smoke I like to keep my humidors functioning as a hobby.
@opticalnoise - when I went away to high school my mom always said that about the underwear plus she put my name in all my underwear, socks, and well she put my name on everything
@godfatherofgreenbay - were you going to somehow get confused and wear some other guy's underwear?
Even in dorms, I find that scenario mildly far-fetched.
@opticalnoise - yeah, I had no clue what she was thinking. Soap dish...put your name on it. Blanket that never leaves your bed...name on it. Pencils...name on it. Fan...name on it. Towels and wash cloths...put name on each.
@godfatherofgreenbay - The Sinatras are amazing. I can't find them anymore now that I moved to Georgia though.
@bloggicus_maximus - I always got mine on CigarBid.com but I can't find on there any more. I also can't find the Kahlua ones. Those were great. They left a flavor of chocolate on your lips. I'd smoke one every day either before I taught or after the school day was finished.
@godfatherofgreenbay - I think they were a limited release.
@bloggicus_maximus - I just checked thompson and they have them so that means CigarBid can't auction them any longer. A box over there costs $115. I think I have something like 50 left.
@godfatherofgreenbay - Geez. I don't think I've bought a box of anything in months. I usually just buy a few sticks I want to try out/can actually afford.
i wish it was. i love photography.
I got a B+! I promise I will do better next time, Sir! I desperately want an A+!
I liked reading YOUR answers!
@godfatherofgreenbay - Karl May's "Winnetou 1" "Winnetou 2" and "Winnetou 3"; Ted Dekker's "Circle Trilogy - 3 books in 1" and Karl May's "Old Surehand 2"
@godfatherofgreenbay - 2 now
Yep the cats have got to be saved.
1. Laptop
2. Handbag
3. Cars Key & all the keys
4. My niece
5. Myself
I must confess that the most part of what you answer may be valid
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