October 3, 2011

  • Xanga Letters

    I haven't been around much the last few days because my state is so full of win.  Brewers...Badgers...Packers...winning.  Anyway, I saw a few people do these posts where they said anonymous things to Xangans.  I thought I'd give it a try.

    1.  You're cool.

    2.  I think we should get married.

    3.  I like the cut of your jib.

    4.  You have nice boobs.

    5.  You make me feel like an idiot.

    6.  I don't know what I did to make you angry at me.

    7.  I like you even though you think I'm mentally retarded and you feel sorry for me because I'm a Christian.  I've never attacked your belief system so I have yet to figure out why you attack me.

    8.  You are trash.  You bring nothing positive to this site.  Drama surrounds you.  You're an adult for christ's sake; act like it.

    9.  I don't understand labels but I don't think any less of you.

    10.  Even though you are one of those people who say "THE" Ohio State, you're nice.

    11.  99% of the time I have no idea what I should say after I read your posts but I keep reading them.

    12.  I know that you closed out your Xanga and came back as LoBorn.  Your secret is safe with me because I absolutely detested you on both sites.

    13.  You are hot.

    14.  I can't believe you admit to liking the Black Eyed Peas.

    15.  I had a dream and you were in it.  You shot me in the face.  I am now scared of you.


    Like I said...so full of win.

    A cousin posted this on his facebook.  I LOL'ed.

    But in the peligianistic beliefs, Jesus would be the wide receiver and I would be the quarterback and on a scoring throw the quarterback does half the work of getting the ultimate prize.

    I have no reversed my "no nudes" policy.  Female readers can submit all the nude photos they want and I will accept them.  Oh and remember save the boobs and what not because studies have shown that fellatio and semen help reduce breast cancer so ladies if you want to do your part to curb breast cancer give me a call.  By the way fuck commas.

    I'm bringing back that hair.

Comments (56)

  • Matt, No I will not marry you. 

  • ... I think I am either 11 of 15... and I am sorry if I am 15

  • Awww.....Someone shot you in the face? :(   Interesting dreams. 

  • Haha will you tell us if we're on here? Haha! Cause I think I know which ones I might be if I'm on here lol!

  • 4 and 13 are for me.

  • I think I'm 1 or 3. Maybe.

  • i don't blog much but let's face it. you wouldn't blog much either if your two favorite words growing up were "Go Vikings". my dad did take me to see Yankees' games when the roster included Mickey Mantle, Roger Maris, Whitey Ford, Yogi Berra, Elston Howard, Clete Boyer, Tom Tresh, Bobby Richardson and Joe Pepitone. the problem is most people hate the Yankees. that was a lot of commas. 

    Yogi Berra's wife once asked him, "You were born in Missouri. Your career has been spent in New York. We live in New Jersey. Where do you want to be buried when you pass away?" Yogi answered, "Surprise me."  hahahaha. 

    in telling my dad why he was hired as editor in chief of the religious department at Thomas Nelson and Sons publishing house the man who hired him said, "I like the cut of your jib". i was 7 and for whatever reason i never forgot that.   

  • These are hee-larious.  Thanks you, yes I do have a nice rack   I'm actually kind of shocked you had so many people to feel angry/confused about.  I thought everybody loved you and was always nice to you. @Rainboxx - Nope, I'm the 4.  

    15 is funny. I can't believe number 7 ever happened to you, weird!  I guess other people have their fair share of trolls too. 

  • You should add 15 names! :p

  • Wow! So, Grace Presbyterian Church are sun worshipers! Who would have guessed?

  • I know I have a nice boobs, but thank you for confirming the fact.

  • It's ok. 99% of the time I have no idea why I bother saying anything at all, so 'very nice' makes me feel less alone around here.

  • 11.  99% of the time I have no idea what I should say after I read your posts but I keep reading them.

    I agree with that....a lot more than I should admit.

    I also think this one about a ton of Xangans:

    WOW if only I had a chance to convince you that you should not be depressed and I can come over and we can have epic sleep over

  • 15) That's me, isn't it? I'm harmless I swear. Actually the guide has been updated. I'm now Mostly Harmless.

    Worshipping father sun is pretty progressive for presbyterians. I must say, I'm impressed.

    Would you like me to beat up #6, 7 or 8? Or hex them perhaps? I don't generally do that,  but you know what they say, 'a witch who can't hex, can't heal', and I already know I can heal, so how difficult could it be to hex? Anway, the option's open.

  • #8 intrigues me.

  • Wisconsin is so full of win it permeates everything : )

  • Wait... how did you find out about Black Eyed Peas!? 

  • I feel like I'm #11. Not that these give a whole lot of hints. :P

  • I have no reversed my "no nudes" policy.  Female readers can submit all the nude photos they want and I will accept them.  Oh and remember save the boobs and what not because studies have shown that fellatio and semen help reduce breast cancer so ladies if you want to do your part to curb breast cancer give me a call.  By the way fuck commas.

    hahaha

    re the commas i'm with you. you rock. and yeah jesus i can see as the WR. come to think of it and i've never really thought about it.

  • I KNOW #4 and #13 are for ME! Thanks, Matty!

    As for the vid...I got to meet David Lander (Squiggy) in an airport. We sat and talked. He is a sweet, sweet man!

    GREAT POST!
    HUGS!

  • I was going to pretend #13 was for me and comment about it, but I see other people did that before me and now I feel unoriginal.

    and that Milwaukee game was insane! haha that must have been great to watch if you're a fan! :D

  • I feel so stupid, but what the hell is a jib? hahaha.

    I love the things you post &I wonder if your #8 is my #1!?!? :)

  • @TheGiantSlayer - damn...no, you are definitely not 11.  I can read your posts and make sense of them.  I'm not a poetry genius but I can understand the gist.  As for 15...your profile pics set you apart and make you look like my family members that wear track suits all day, every day.

    @ALovingAdversary - yeah that was one of those dreams I remember because it wasn't one of the usual dreams or recurring dreams.

    @JUST_ME_1984 - well I think you have to guess but I'm thinking a few could be for you

    @opticalnoise - do you want to be #4 because I hope you're not offended that you are

    @Rainboxx - ding ding ding

    @bloggicus_maximus - of course you made the list.  I should've said that some letters were for multiple people.  I'm not impersonal like that but I didn't want to leave anyone out.

    @TheSutraDude - COMMAS + YANKEES = ANEURYSM!  I grew up in the 80s when the Packers were pretty lame.  They rarely had a 500 record but they still sold out.  That's because all the owners were at the game.  You have to love a team that's publicly owned.  The Brewers...I grew up during the Robin Yount and Paul Molitor years and they should've been great but that was when they were in the AL and were in the same division with the Yankees, Toronto, Baltimore, Boston, Detroit, and Chicago.  Then up until I was 11 or so the only list the Badgers made was the best partying schools but then Playboy stopped including Wisconsin because they would say they no longer would rank the professionals with the amateurs.  It's a good time to be a sports fan of Wisconsin teams.  I feel like we are entering a Lombardi Renaissance.

    @DivaJyoti - well I think my anger comes from generalization when people generalize all Christians as a group.  I've also felt hostility with some people and I don't know why.  I just try to do my own thing and stay away from drama although it seeps through and sickens me.

    @nattata - well I think I gave away the answer in the comments.

    @FrenzElectric - well the people who criticize Christians for worshiping Christ when they claim the story is nothing but a retold version of an Egyptian sun god.

    @RestlessButterfly - you are most welcome

    @girlForgetful - yeah I'm not a genius when it comes to poetry or deep intellectual things so while my brain is trying to process all I can get out is very nice sometimes.

    @ShimmerBodyCream - It's October so talking about boobs and asking for pics is acceptable.

    @WondersCafe - Why, yes, I think of having sleepovers with plenty of Xangans.  The problem I have with 11 is the language.  Sometimes I try my damnedest to read something and I still can't make heads nor tails of the post but I still comment.  i don't know why.

    @TheSecretLifeOfPandas - well just one of them

    @ZombieMom_Speaks - well Mostly Harmless is one of my favorite books or at least the canon to which it belongs is one of my favorite series.
    Well you know people mock Christians for worshiping Christ and saying that the story of Christ is based on the worship of an Egyptian sun god.
    No, even though I'm not Hindu I do believe that there is some sort of karmic activity in this world and it will be their comeuppance.

    @Cestovatelka - yeah, I think a few other people wrote to that same person but I don't know for certain.

    @anvilsandedelweiss - I remember all the years of all the teams struggling and not being contenders and now all of them are at the top of their sports.  Some on facebook reminded me that I forgot about the Bucks.  I tend to do that but then I'm no basketball fan at least not professional basketball.  The Badgers on the other hand...

    @Lakakalo - tsk tsk tsk

    @emily_shannon - no you are NOT 11, trust me.  I like to be vague and also word them so they can be for multiple people although maybe 3 of those are for specific people.

    @bonmots - well I'm just really lonely.  I remember The Onion doing a few articles about Christ playing in the NBA that were quite funny.

    @AdamsWomanFell - how did you know?
    I've heard a few other people say they've met him and that he is so down to earth.  I was just reading about him and he seems to be quite teh stand-up guy.

    @raspberryjade - well you are most definitely 13.  I'm excited for the Brewers but apprehensive that all of a sudden all the baseball analysts and sports talking heads are jumping on their bandwagon.  That sets up for failure.  Look at what it did for the Red Sox. at the beginning of the season there were people that expected them to shatter all sorts of records.

    @ArmyWife4Life2007 - well here's a definition of that phrase.  I think they explain it better than I could.  Hmmm I think we have that in common but I'm not certain.  I'll have to message about it.

  • #10 is so me. I know it. #10 or #4.

  • @godfatherofgreenbay - why would I be offended? I do have awesome boobs. It's true. Was I really number 4? Or are you just saying that? 

  • @JUST_ME_1984 - :) how about both and maybe another one or two or three

  • @opticalnoise - well yeah, but I have to admit that I had numerous people in mind for many of these because I didn't want to write out 847 letters when a lot of them would've been repetitious.

  • @godfatherofgreenbay - lol fair enough. Thanks for the compliment

  • So you mean 5 of these apply to me?? Well don't you know how to make a girl feel special 

  • @godfatherofgreenbay - Haha, oh my. &really? Only 847 letters for nice boobs? I hope I get one, haha.

  • You know what? I DO have nice boobs.

    Day = made.

  • @JUST_ME_1984 - well I'm just spouting facts

  • @ArmyWife4Life2007 - well you can have one or should that be two

  • @Garistotle - well I am glad I could help

  • I like those . . . I know you don't know what to say when you read my stuff and I know I have nice boobs.  I do think we should get married . . . it would  be kind of a Demi/Ashton thing.  Mrs. Godfather.  Ahhhh. I like the sound of that.

  • I like your facts!

  • I hope I'm not any of those that got upset at you or angry. I don't ever recall feeling that way towards you, regardless of your beliefs. You don't come across as a pushy Christian AT ALL.  So, I'm cool. We cool? 

  • I don't know if any of these are about me, so I'll just say that I've never heard of the Badgers. Did you make that up? I'm not really a sports person, so it's possible that you did and in doing so it might have flown right over my head. Like a Badger, if it was launched on a catapult.

    I'm rooting for whoever plays against the Yankees. If that's the Brewers, then GO BREWERS!!

  • @adventofreason - I just want to marry someone to take on all my debts

  • @JUST_ME_1984 - well I should be hired as a statistician.

  • I think I'm gonna guess which ones could apply to me. 5 you say?

  • @In_Reason_I_Trust - well it wasn't geared toward you, I've seen a few anti-religion posts and a couple of people in my friends list made those comments and I guess it sort of hurt because I try to be respectful of what people believe on here although I admit that I am not respectful of Scientology but then I don't consider that to be a religion.  Anyway, I try to live by the credo of not shoving my religion down other's throats.  I guess working in the public school system taught me that is how I should approach religion.  I'm not going to go into a classroom or a website and stand on a soap box but if people ask me me belief then I will share.  Anyway, we're cool...bro hug.

  • @leaflesstree - about the University of Wisconsin partying and Playboy's party school list?  That is true.  It's been a long long long time since they had UW on the list and every year they make mention of it.  I didn't go there because I didn't think my liver would make it through 4 or 6 years.

    Sweet, a Yankees hater!

  • HAHAHA! I'm so good! And I'm sure you can't erase in your memory the picture of my tits. Why, thank you very much.

  • @Rainboxx - well my memory is a little hazy but you can always send photos to help me remember

  • Well, golly then, I'm the girl for you!  Nothing higher paying than an Oklahoma school teacher.  Woo hoo.

  • wow everyone wants to be number 4. no one has owned #1 therefore put my name next to #1 please seeing as you think I'm cool.

  • @TheSecretLifeOfPandas - I was surprised more women didn't claim #5 but then that's probably a given.  I think 5 apply for you.

  • ha. I make you feel like an idiot? how so?

  • I'm not sure which one is for me, or if any are for me lol

  • You got a marriage proposal?  I'm jealous.

  • Btw, what's so wrong about liking the Black eyed peas?
    Is 15. about a man or woman?

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