Day: February 27, 2012

  • Homework Assignment 2/20

    Class, I enjoyed reading your last assignment.  It's nice to know that you people are so kind and are concerned about me.  It's really touching especially after the week I've had.  I'm not going to grade you for caring because that's just something I want to keep locked up for later pondering.   Thank you.

    Now here's your new assignment:

    A. 

    B.

    Answer one or the other but answer them clearly.  Get to work.

    My answers:
    A.  "Creep" by Radiohead, "Runaway Train" by Soul Asylum, "Daughter" by Pearl Jam, "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak, "Mama Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J, "Jump" by Kriss Kross, "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice, "Bump N Grind" by R Kelly, "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana, "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong" by Spin Doctors, "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred

    B.  Yes, I won't need them when I'm dead.

  • Curl Up Beside the Fireplace and Let My Haikus Warm You

    her heart crumpled in
    my hand, the same way a used
    condom wrapper might

    The cigarette pack
    is the fortune cookie of
    my generation

    In the dead of night
    an alien flood of light
    ominous music

    I think someone shoved
    a tennis ball down my throat
    It’s really itchy

    Softly speak with love
    Answer me back with your eyes
    I give you my heart

    Take me into your
    Bed and let me lay with you
    There in love and lust

    Your skin used to smell
    Vaguely of cigarettes and
    Coconut shampoo

    I only ask you
    To love me for who I am
    And not who you see

    I need your embrace
    Let’s commit some naughty sin
    Let me taste your love

    Slowly swirling tongue
    Your button of ecstasy
    Stimulation high

    Summer breeze swept lips
    The hot and wet hurricane
    You hold great power

    Two pairs of lips meet
    Mine on my face pressed on yours
    That are a bit south

    Your lips, they tease me
    Trailing down my whole body
    The two become one

    The source of all life
    Sweeps against your hungry tongue
    Greatest form of love

    The intense pressure
    Feel the build up from deep down
    Overwhelming joy

    Such euphoria
    You have given me so much
    I need to get laid

    Like pomegranates
    Your breasts are luscious and ripe
    Belong in my hands

    Your shapely long legs
    Must be wrapped around my head
    Take you to heaven

    Eruption of lust
    My lust is overwhelming
    Want this forever

    Sex is the foreplay
    Of too long conversations
    We let ourselves in.

    Woke this morning,
    Ravenous for your body:
    Went away starving.

    Maybe it’s my fault
    I’m not good at expressing
    My feelings for you

    I apologize
    If it seems I’m not trying
    As much as you are

    I’m doing my best
    Please don’t give up on my love
    I won’t let you down

     I scratched my big balls
    Then I scratched my ugly face
    Scent remained all day

    Vain generation
    Cam whoring, oversexed kids
    Listen too little

    They talk way too much
    Sitting behind computers
    They know everything

    I see you driving
    ‘round town with the girl I love
    And I’m like “Hello”

    Haikus are easy
    Five then seven and then five
    It all adds up, sir

    you've heard this before
    Spam is better than canned Treet
    Off-brand Spam is bad

    You've heard this before
    Boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs
    Boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs 

    You've heard this before
    I am boring you to tears
    Purple Chimpanzee

    Happy birthday me
    No longer a teen, how old?
    Twenty forever

    My pee on the rug
    a reminder of the time
    that I went too far.

    Cats are really great
    Like a big fluffy best friend
    Meow meow purrr

    Felines should rule Earth.
    Although they’re so majestic,
    Their claws are razors.

    Is that a tattoo?
    Come on, it can’t be that bad?
    Here’s your pants, get out!

    Your depth deludes you
    Drowning in your own despair
    You’re dead and shallow 

    oops I just farted
    I was kind of nervous, but
    It went unnoticed

    lost myself today
    turned and ran the other way
    searching for myself

     Have another beer
    and pretend it all worked out
    just as we wanted

    I said “You look nice.”
    She said “I’m ugly.” I said
    “Well kill yourself then.”

    cabin fever in
    delirium settling not
    pray to die now.

    Call me “Major Tom”
    Oh my God you like Bowie
    No, I’m trapped in space

    Good ol' Meryl Streep
    If Oscars were up to me
    I'd give you them all

    Master of Haiku
    I am a fucking genius
    Bring me a Leinie's

    A void in my heart
    No butterflies fluttering
    Happy emptiness

    This has been awesome
    I am going to bed now
    I need to pee ok



    Only in Wisconsin part 1...he's such a Koch sucker

    And 9 months later the house gave birth to a littler trailer and they named him Cletus

    Only in Wisconsin part 2...I'm very afraid to set foot in that bar.

    At first I was like...hey lady and then I saw her wall.  She firmly believes that beauty isn't skin deep.

    Only in Wisconsin part 3...Captain Dix...you should see the shuttle bus they drive around town trying to pick people up.

    If Hitler was on RuPaul's Drag Race

    Only in Wisconsin part 4...yeah that's pretty accurate.  It was about 40 today and I was only wearing a hoodie.  The wind was killer.

    Only on FOX News would they take a kids movie and put a negative meaning behind it...damn liberal media.

    Only in Wisconsin part 5...Camp Randall...yeah it's because it's only here


    Damn straight

    That boy ain't right.

    I love my state.