-Set a small rectangular table next to a larger square table, or any seat configuration that most resembles a blue fist.
-Pass the hand-washing bowl around the Seder-fist table, and reminisce about the one clean bathroom in Our House The Capitol that no one else knew about but you and that drum circle guy.
-Join in a version of the song Paul Robeson made famous: “Let My People Go”:
“When Walker was in WiscoLand,
let my unions collectively bargain…”
Explain the symbols on the Seder plate:
- The Matzoh wearing the tiny superhero cape represents the fourteen Democratic senators who had to flee the state, and did not have time for their bread to rise.
- The saltwater represents our tears when Republican Governor Scott Walker would not let us in Our House, and especially when he would not let us use Our Crockpots in Our House.
- The egg represents the hardworking teachers that had to retire early to save their nest eggs.
- The bitter herbs that overpower our senses represent The Koch Brothers’ money that overpowers true democracy.
- The parsley represents rebirth, renewal, and recall.
- The shank bone represents the toll on our shins after a month of standing on the square, singing “We Shall Overcome.”
- The Ian’s Pizza slice represents the entire world’s support of Madison pizza.
Drink the first cup.
Break a piece of Matzoh in thirds, representing the cuts to our social services, and hide one piece for the kids to seek. Label it “BadgerCare” with edible ink. The child who finds the BadgerCare Matzoh receives a small gift. Perhaps, a box of Manischewitz candy fruit slices with one bite taken out of each slice. Explain to the teary winner that those bites were taken by Republican Governor Scott Walker for his cronies’ no-bid contracts.
Ask the four questions:
- Why is this night different from all other nights? On all other nights we do recall signature data entry. Tonight we sing about recall signature data entry.
- Why is this governor different from all other governors? All other governors did not ruin 50 years of peaceful labor negotiations in Wisconsin.
- Why is your protest sign so much cooler than my sign? I have a graphic arts degree and you wrote KOCH BLOCKER in pencil on a napkin.
- Why is it that on all other nights we eat either sitting or reclining, but on this night we eat in a reclining position? If you must know, the capitol floor inflamed my hemorrhoids and irritated my sciatica. Enough with the questions already.
Drink the second cup.
The Four Sons:
- The Wise Son Asks: What does collective bargaining have to do with the budget?
- The Wicked awesome prank caller blogger Son Asks: “Scott! David Koch. How are you?”
- The Simple Son Asks: “Why are there palm trees in FoxNews’ footage of the protests in Wisconsin?”
- The One That Does Not Know To Ask Is Told: Just make a sign and get down to the Capitol. HURRY.
Dip your finger in the wine and put one dot on your plate for each of 10 plagues:
1. Scott Walker
2. Rebecca Kleefisch
3. FoxNews
4. Locusts
5. Johnsonville Brat Fest
6. Occupy Wall Street thunder-stealers
7. Tea Party People
8. Boils
9. Catchy protests slogans WHOSE HOUSE that served us well, but that we cannot extract from our limbic systems OUR HOUSE
10. Each person who voted for Scott Walker except that one dude with the sign that read I VOTED FOR SCOTT WALKER AND I AM SORRY.
Drink the third and fourth cup followed by a beer chaser.
Open the door for Russ Feingold:
Time to open the door for Russ Feingold. Let him in! Let him drink from the gubernatorial cup he has no interest in drinking from, but somehow owes Wisconsin despite his career of service and the fact that we didn’t elect him in 2010. And dwell on this quote: "And understand this: If American workers are being denied their right to organize and collectively bargain when I’m in the White House, I’ll put on a put on a comfortable pair of shoes myself. I’ll walk on that picket line with you as president of the United States" Remember how Barack Obama said that in 2007 and hasn't done jack shit for the state of Wisconsin in regards to our labor plight save one tweet.
Next year in a new administration! Next year may all be free to forget entirely about Our House except for that one 5th grade field trip!
Close with “Shame on you” sung to the tune of “Dayeinu.”

Comments (27)
You are one of the funniest writers on Xanga, thanks for always making me smile
if only elections were like this... bwahahahaha
Eaten a couple Seder meals in your life eh? Where's the cheese curds? I figured those were a must for any Wisconsin-based meal. Does McDonald's sell cheese curds up there?
I missed all the references, since I don't know anything about Seder. I only know that Scott Walker is an abomination.
hmm if i'm not mistaken, this post has to do with both politics and religion... *runs away*
walk like an egyption. "walker need an eviction?" way oh waaay ohhh.
did you go out and vote already?
@BoulderChristina - well thank you, I wish I could take credit for this but I can't except for the part about Obama's quote from 2007. I figure since all he did for Wisconsin was send out one tweet I may send out one tweet come November.
@tribong_upos - it would be more fulfilling, that's for sure
@Thatslifekid - just a few, I figure if I am Christian I should know how Christ lived and practice things he practiced but not because I have to but because I want to.
I don't think McDonald's sells many different sandwiches up here. They tend to avoid regional flare although I think they do have special sandwiches from time to time like the patty melt which is a hamburger topped with sauteed onions and cheddar cheese sauce all on a rye bun.
If I want fried cheese curds, I head to a bar in town or Culver's. If I want just plain, straight out of the cheese vat curds, I head to one of the numerous cheese factories in these parts. The best is the Amish cheese factory.
@we_deny_everything - the thing I'm most fearful of his this new guy he hired to be head of our DNR. He's in favor of land usage fees and those could run into the thousands of dollars for hunters.
@Peridot21 - hahaha...wow, I killed two Xanga birds with one stone, how about that?
@starmanjones - hahaha...that's great, I'm not too hopeful because when I was at the polling place I saw everybody and their cousin or so it seemed.
@TheSecretLifeOfPandas - I voted at about 1PM and I was number 291. My town's population is 1400 something and of course there's a lot of non-voting aged people in that so I figure there is a good turn out. I voted in the primaries about the same time and I was around 150. I saw my dad had voted this morning and he was #46.
@godfatherofgreenbay -
well its an outting either way. (pun)
@godfatherofgreenbay - I am disappointed in the regional cuisine choices of mcd's now. I know nothing of these cheese curds.
this totally made my evening
!!! good luck Wisconsin!
@starmanjones - lol
@Thatslifekid - I vaguely remember a Wisconsin cheese burger back in the day. It had three times the cheese and multiple varieties.
Oh man, cheese curds, they are the best. They are parts of soured milk that are solid and leftover in the cheese making process. Usually they are sold and eaten within hours of manufacture because they are good when they're still warm and another bonus is that they are squeaky and have a rubbery, bouncy texture. I usually buy them if they are sitting out at the cheese factory because when they are refrigerated they lose the squeakiness and rubbery texture. Here's what they look like. The deep fried variety usually have a buttermilk batter on them.
@under_the_carpet - I just heard a report that some places are running out of ballots and others may hit 100+% voter turnout. The 100+% is when people register for the first time.
Despite the fact that I have no idea what's going on in Wisconsin other than something about a recall, and I have little to zero knowledge of what is involved in a seder, I found this very amusing.
@godfatherofgreenbay - I'm pretty sure I just puked in my mouth a little.
So I guess Revelations was right with the plagues.... I voted for Bush in 2000 and I am sorry!
@leaflesstree - the recall in Wisconsin was a mess and the seder is the Jewish passover meal. It's quite an interesting meal and it commemorates the Israelites being led out of Egypt.
@hesacontradiction - I voted for him because Al Gore was so robotic
@godfatherofgreenbay - I hated Tipper!
@hesacontradiction - oh yeah, I forgot about her too with her wanting to ban music and calling the Star of David a Satanic sign
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