December 3, 2012

  • Homework Assignment 11/26

    Well, class, I read your last assignment and was pleased that you answered the one question properly even though I told you to do it the wrong way.  Everyone gets an A+

    Here's your next assignment:

    A.
      

    B. 
     

    C. 
     

    Make sure you answer two questions clearly and concisely.  Answering all three questions gets you extra credit.  You may have to enlarge A to see all the options clearly.

    Now get to work.

    A.  I had to look it up but...I ran naked with Michael Jackson because I have perfect abs.  Don't judge, it's hot for December here and I am sweating.

    B.  I didn't find any money.  I just posed that as a hypothetical.  Sorry if you were expecting a grandiose question.

    C.  This one is hard to decide because my grandfather usually had a crewcut and I don't think I could do one of those but then there are older people that call me by his nickname, Teddy.  Well...I may go with Teddy since then maybe it will get someone with low self-esteem to cuddle with me.

Comments (29)

  • 1. I fucked Santa Claus cause that's who I am.

    2. Hand soap, lots of it.
    3. Hairstyle - Nothing says sexy like a bun in a hair net.
    Didn't I just do homework? Geez, you're relentless!

  • A: I shot a horse because that's what I am.

    I don't know if that means I'm a horse-shooter or a horse. It's a little unclear.

    B: Something from my amazon wish list! Oh, and then you have to send it to me, too.

    C: I don't know what my maternal grandmother's first name is. She always goes by Kay, which I'm pretty sure is her middle name. Weird that I don't actually know. But my paternal grandmother's name is Helen, which would be fine.

  • 1. I stabbed you because I'm gay and I'm ugly.

    2. Cookie dough. Yum.

    3. Well I want neither of my grandmothers' hairstyles, so I would say I'd take either of their names, Kathleen or Mary Lou. Although I don't really want those names either, it would be better than me having super short curly hair... cus short hair doesn't work for me, or thinning, coarse shoulder-length hair... just because. At least with Kathleen I could have people call me Kate, which is my name shortened up anyway.

  • A.  I killed an egg because that is what I am.

    (Note all the people wearing white shirts right now)

    B. An induction cooktop, of the mobile variety.  It excites the molecules in magnetic cookware and uses the heat produced (cause by friction I believe) to cook with.  Because there is no transference of heat, it is incredibly accurate and efficient, quick too.  Another aspect of the lack of heat transference is that do not need to worry about accidentally catching things on fire, because the unit itself contains no heat.  Price 80ish.

    C. I already have my grandfathers first name, and I didn't much find his hairstyle all that appealing.  So I will go with my Grandfather's first name.  I actually have both of my grandfather's first names.  One as my first name, and the other as my middle name.

  • (a) I pissed on a monkey because I smoked crack.

    Who knew I'd ever write such a sentence LOL. My reputation is shot, and poor monkey. I'm not wearing a t shirt though but I am wearing that colour.

    (b)  A Christmas present for meeeee.

    (c)  I can't choose. I loved them but they had old lady hair and old lady names. Can I have my grandmother's hands instead? She got weekly manicures and looked great.

  • B. So the question is what should *you* buy, not me, right? If that's the case, Culver's! That would be a lot of ice cream, amirite? :)

    C. I like long hair and I don't think either one of my grandmothers ever had long hair, and their names aren't too bad, so I'd go with their names, Mary or Ella.

  • A. I ran naked with a prostitute because I'm sexy. 

    B. $200 from one of those suckers they say is born every minute. Then $400, $800. If it's true there's a sucker born every minute I will pass Warren Buffet in no time. 

    C. My grandfather actually had a decent haircut. (He looked an awful lot like me too. Reverse engineering I guess) He could have had the worst haircut imaginable. I'd still prefer that to going through life being called Olaf.

  • 1. I gave a blowjob to a vaccuum cleaner because I'm sexy!!!!

    hahaha but that's not sexy at all :(

    2. I think you should buy some charity christmas gifts! (My personal theme for Christmas this year is charity, just fyi haha)

    3. I would like her name which was Polly.....I'm Holly...so I think I could deal with that. It's cute. But I don't want a grey perm at my age.

  • A) I stabbed a robot because I'm single.

    B) http://www.gifts.com/search/product/beer-of-the-month-club-3-months-with-free-shipping?prodID=342255

    C) I'll take the haircut. It's just hair, it'll grow back.

  • A. I pissed on a monkey because I'm single.

    B. I'm having a difficult time viewing this picture, so I am unable to answer :(

    C. Well, my grandmothers' names are Ruzica and Suzanna. I guess I'd take Ruzica (Rose). Their hair is alright but kinda meh, so I'll take the names.

  • Jesus, you've got all your visitors pissing on monkeys and stuff.  Have you no shame, man?  Is this the kind of America we want??  Come on.
    A. I ran naked with Barney the dinosaur because I'm gay.
    B. You should buy a gay dinosaur.
    C. You didn't say which grandfather.  I want Frank's thick hair and Waldo's cool name.  Waldo!

  • i smoked weed with a dog because i stink...
    i'd spend that $100 on a shower and something to cure the fact that dope makes me paranoid so i don't care for it...
    one of my g'pa's was called charlie - i'd pick that so i got to have a bunch of smokin' hot babe angels around me...  schwing...

  • A. I pissed on Barney the Dinosaur because he's purple and you didn't offer my favorite color choice which I happen to be wearing. (Other is N/A.)

    B. You should take me to dinner.

    C. Maternal grandma; name which was Kathrine (the Great.) The hair style was too much work. Paternal grandmother, the opposite.

    I'm craving brats....hint, hint....

  • A. "I ran naked with a horse because I'm sexy."   Umm...lol.

    B. CDs and books.

    C. I'd gladly take his name. He was a great man with an interesting name - Romualdo. Hairstyles are too trivial.

  • A. I stabbed Madonna because I stink!

    B. Buy yourself a little something that will make you happy in the moment and put the rest away for savings! :)

    C. My grandmother's name, (I'm thinking of paternal) because her name is Beverly and I think its pretty and different and I was honest-to-God this morning thinking about how I don't like old-lady short styled hair and would I look like a witch when I'm older if I kept my hair longer? haha

  • I hate a prostitute because I am horny. 

    You should buy something nice for your kitties.  
    I'd rather have my grandmother's name.  I mean, I have a few to choose from at least.  They all have/had the same hairstyle.

  • B. If you found a hundred dollars in the street you should buy beer!  If I found a hundred dollars in the street I would buy yarn!!!

    C. I would pick my grandmothers name simply because my older sister was named after my grandma, and it would be funny if people didn't know we were named the same and we both responded. And plus my grandma had that short curly grandma hair, and I never liked that. If I end up with that kind of hair when I'm old, I had better be in a coma!

  • 2. Put it in the bank.

    3. Name. Hairstyle was too curly for me.

  • A. I need a monkey because I stink.

    Lol, I feel like that would be counter-productive, but who knows.

    B. You and some friends should go out for dinner and a movie or drinks. Just treat yourself with a fun night. :)

    C. Either one of their names. Both my grandma and my grandma that passed away had short, thin, curly hair. Although one had white hair and the other is brunette, it's not really my style, lol. Both of the names are old fashioned: Florence and Patricia, but I could probably make it work for me. If I had to choose one, it would definitely be Patricia, though... more options for nicknames.

  • 1. I hate a bowl of cereal because I'm sexy. 

    2. A viking hat with real antlers!
    3. Her hairstyle! (short lol)

  • B I'd go buy some food. Isn't that sad? Practical. Too practical. :( I should have blown it. Had some fun.
    C her name Eunice. Her hairs thinning and reminds me of a helmet.

  • 1. I fucked a horse because I'm single. Yeah, that sounds right. 

    2. A horse.

    3. Her name. My grandmother has short hair and I like long hair. Her name is Lena. Not too interesting but different enough that I could live with it.

  • Is it sad, that the only one I am even remotely interested in, is what other people think you should buy with the 100 dollars?

  • A. I smoked weed with a porn star because I'm sexy.

    B. weed, cigarettes & a light for my refrigerator.

    C. Her first name- Isabelle.

  • B. Since you found $100 in the street, you should either donate it to me or buy more cheese! If I found $100 in the street then I should put it towards my debt.

    C. My one grandmother wears a haphazard short gold and black wig so uhhhh no! I'd take her name though because it's Elizabeth and no one would expect me to be an Elizabeth!

  • Thanks to everyone who participated in letter A.  Since Xanga doesn't have a birthday database I thought I'd try one if you don't mind.  If you do let me know and I'll take you off my list.
    @BoulderChristina - I just do the homework every week but I timestamp it so the assignment from the previous week is always before the new assignment if that makes sense.

    @randaness - I always wanted to do one of those amazon wishlists but I'd put on those obscure things or weird things like this hot sauce.

    @kaitlove__xx - I remember this one time in college where I had been drinking and had someone take me to a 24 hour grocery store and the only thing at that time that sounded good was a block of cheese and a tube of cookie dough.  I get back to the dorm and I'm sitting out front eating my cheese straight from the block and I finished what I wanted so I moved on to the cookie dough and a girl saw me and came and lectured me about how it's not safe to eat raw cookie dough.  I tried to deep throat that tube and I bit off a huge chunk and chewed on it while she walked away in disgust.

    @EmilyandAtticus - OK I'll allow for hands because that's a toughie when they have both names and hair that aren't to your liking.  One of my grandmother's had a name that I have never heard anyone else having and it's sort of strange but then she was the youngest of something like 23 kids so they probably ran out of names.

    @Peridot21 - Your birthday...yikes!
    You had to mention Culver's AFTER I wrote this post.  I only say that because on the 26th one of the Culver's had my favorite flavor.  It's called Cherie Amour Amaretto.  Amaretto frozen custard with huge cherries that are soaked in some sort of booze.  It's the absolute best...and I say that in Kenny Bania's voice.

    @TheSutraDude - Oh man when I saw the name I immediately went in my head to a private college near where I lived out in Minnesota.  St. Olaf's.  The weird thing was it was pretty fancy but on that Golden Girls show Rose always talked about St. Olaf and made it seem like a idiotic place but then I realized she was referring to a fictional town and not the college.

    @isitreal_no - a few years ago I was tempted to do what George did on an episode of Seinfeld.  He made a donation in each of his co-workers' names to a fictional charity and gave them a card saying he had done so.

    @Thatslifekid - the beer of the month club is so much better than when I was in the necktie of the month club.

    @Marica0701 - It was "I found $100 in the street.  What should I buy?"  I do like those names and a combination of the two would be nice.

    @we_deny_everything - I'm a good old boy and this is my America, an America where we piss on monkeys and piss off the rest of the world.

    @xplorrn - that would be perfect but then Charlie was never around the girls if I remember my show correctly.  It was always some loser Bosley.

    @Kellsbella - brats...I'm not posting my nude pics no matter how much you beg

    @In_Reason_I_Trust - I got an ereader last Christmastime and there's a website called Project Gutenberg which has thousands upon thousands of free ebooks.  I don't think I'll have to buy classic literature ever again.

    @raspberryjade - You brought up something else I've always wondered.  When is it that a woman determines that she's had long hair all her life then she decides to go with short hair?

    @SasGal - they get something nice every time I go to a fast food joint which isn't that often unless I'm doing hospital appointments.  My one cat has this weird habit of carrying plastic straws.  She found some in my teaching supplies and brought one to me one night.  I ended up putting a bunch of straws in a bag to discourage her from carrying my pens around which she did.  Then she got the bag stuck on her neck so now I have a shoe box filled with straws.  I usually pocket a few extra when I go to Burger King.  Then the other cat likes to play with the straws that the other drops on the floor plus I'll grab one and hide behind one side of the door and move the straw under the crack so she chases it and tries to bite the straws.  I guess I'm not that lonely after all.

    @spinner_mom - I could go for some Spotted Cow about now so that's a good idea.
    I find it amazing how this one is sort of 50/50 with the name and hair.

    @BookographyReviews - that's probably the best way to go.

    @rachelbachel32 - I can't even remember the last time I treated myself to a movie.  I actually think it was for the Grindhouse or Indiana Jones movie.  It's been such a long time but my hearing isn't the best so I like watching movies at home with closed captioning and I don't have to worry about missing anything if I go to the bathroom or get snacks.

    @BranmacFeabhail - I think I may buy one this year instead of drinking.

    @LadyofWaters - Helmet hair...that's what mine looked like last week so I got a big haircut.  I think the barber took off about two or three inches.

    @leaflesstree - Katherine the Great?  I asked about that in my Russian history course and the professor turned 50 shades of red.  I lived on a horse farm for two years of high school and I am through with horses.

    @silveranstavern - That cooktop sounds interesting and even though I didn't find the money I would definitely look at buying something like that.  it's fascinating to know what people would want you to spend money on so I agree.

    @shadow320 - I've never had to replace a lightbulb in a fridge.  I have one on my back porch that is probably twice as old as I am and the light in the freezer sometimes goes out if it gets frosted over but I've never replaced it.

    @TiRocKiinPiinK - you know, I really should go to a cheese store and get some beer cheese or some other cheese I haven't had in some time.

  • @godfatherofgreenbay - Your kitties sound like better company than I have most days.

  • @godfatherofgreenbay - @leaflesstree - i was wondering who was going to make that request...  i'm seeing where ms. leafless' mind is as of late...  

  • @godfatherofgreenbay - hahaha Bania... the best, godfather! the best! :)

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