(I buy notebooks and put them all around my house so that when I have an idea I can immediately write it down otherwise I lose it quite easily.  I replaced one of my notebooks yesterday and overnight I wrote down an idea for a post.  I thought I'd share what I wrote.)

Hello, Xanga, are you working, you worthless piece of shit?  You probably aren't but I'm going to write this anyway.  When artists write songs they might have meaning and sometimes the songs have hidden meanings.  I have taken the time to share some songs for you and have deciphered the real meaning behind the songs.

1.  "Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen

This song is about a rockstar who loves women with shapely buttocks.

2.  "Never My Love" by The Association

This song is about a conundrum the writer faced when he must decide between breadsticks and garlic bread.  He loves garlic bread and realizes he could never give up garlic bread.

3.  "The Twist" by Chubby Checker

This song is about a boy who sneaks his girlfriend over to his house when his mother left the house and his father is asleep and proceeds to teach his girlfriend how to give him a handjob and then he tries to convince her to come over more often to do "the twist".

4.  "Touch Me I'm Going to Scream pt. 2" by My Morning Jacket

Jim James followed me around for two months and took notes about my life.  This is what he came up with about my life.  If a girl touched me at present I would let out an eardrum splitting orgasmic scream.

5.  "She's Electric" by Oasis

This song is about Storm from X-Men

6.  "Daughter" by Pearl Jam

This song is about Chelsea Clinton and her growing up in the White House.

7.  "Fidelity" by Regina Spektor

This song is about Catherine the Great and how she didn't fit in because society said she couldn't love her horse.  She is driven mad and decides to teach everyone that she can have her true love.  Well she showed them in the end...specifically her end that was torn apart by her horse lover.

8.  "The Sweater Song" by Weezer

This song is about America's failing foreign policy in the Middle and Far East which explains why this song is also titled "Undone"

9.  "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana

Vaginas or being in a relationship of unrequited love, you know when you're in love with this girl and she doesn't like you back and she tears your heart out of your chest and stomps all over it and then drives her shitty ass Ford all over it but then you get consolation because the guy she left you for dumps her horrible ass because he sees her for the awful human she is and then she calls you up asking if you want to go out again and you want to say no but all you can say is fuck you bitch

10.  "Float On" by Modest Mouse

This is what happens after a person smokes a bunch of scorpion stingers.

11.  "The Thanks I Get" by Wilco

Jeff Tweedy followed me around for the two months after Jim James followed me around and he recorded things I said because of the condition my house was left in thanks to James and My Morning Jacket.  And then I thought that it would be a good idea if Wilco sold their music to be used in Volkswagen commercials.

12.  "Jesus Etc." by Wilco

9/11...seriously, listen to that song and tell me it's not about 9/11 but that song was written and recorded in late 2000/early 2001.  Jeff Tweedy is a seer.

Weird but I don't think this was that bad for being written when I was asleep.