Day: April 23, 2013

  • 50 Things I Hate

    I made a list.

    1. shared pictures on facebook that say “like if you what to save the kid with cancer"  WHO DOESN'T WANT TO SAVE CANCEROUS CHILDREN?!?!?!
    2. having the urge to eat when I’m full
    3. TBS constantly switching their schedule at night especially airing their original programming instead of reruns of The Office.
    4. gas prices
    5. The internet kills jokes in .005 seconds
    6. The Beatles broke up and two of them are dead and Pink Floyd broke up and two of them are dead so there probably won't be any reunions.
    7. This fucking weather, man, this fucking weather.  We had snow on Sunday.
    8. This makes me think that we won't have spring and it will be 40 one day and then 90 the next.
    9. I have to get some electrical work done for my air conditioner but I think if I do that it will snow again.
    10. People who give their children assholish names
    11. Whenever I wear a hat, no matter what, it makes my hair go crazy. 
    12. I haven't known a woman in the biblical sense in a long time
    13. Olive Garden claiming they are Italian
    14. Everything I love dies
    15. My exgirlfriend walking past my house every day.  I know it's because she's going to the library but she loved making me hurt back in the day so why not now.
    16. Black jelly beans
    17. Redd's Apple Ale...only because it doesn't taste like alcohol and really sneaks up on you.
    18. Duck Phillips...seriously that guy is a fucking douche.  When he turned his dog loose the look that dog gave him...it broke my heart.
    19. I'm never sure when it’s appropriate to use “xxxx” or “xx”
    20. I can’t ever say “xxx” because xxx refers to pornos and I don't want people thinking I'm a pervert
    21. Porn buffering time...yeah, I'm a pervert
    22. Couples who make out in public.
    23. That weird time in South Park where Mr. Garrison got a sex change and then went lesbian and everything was just completely fucked up for like a season and a half
    24. I never had Disney Channel as a kid and I totally feel lost.
    25. Night Train Express
    26. Almost dying in a way I have feared for the longest time
    27. That way is dying while on the toilet.  It's so undignified.  I passed out from blood loss.
    28. My body.  They don't know what's wrong with me.  I sit on my toilet and it's like turning on a spigot that dispenses blood.  I lost so much that yeah I got dizzy and passed out.
    29. Sitting on my testicles.
    30. Shaving
    31. It's nearly impossible to find shoes in my size and even harder finding socks.
    32. I have 6 cheap mp3 players but still won't break down and buy an iPod because I won't become an Apple zombie.
    33. Netflix for taking shows and movies off their streaming feature.  Now I'll have even less time on here while I try to watch all of Trailer Park Boys.
    34. Cream Soda
    35. The root beer I like isn't sold in cans or bottles.  You can only buy it at bars or restaurants.  They do make mini-kegs but I haven't seen one in this state in over a year.
    36. I just sat on my testicles once again
    37. Magazines suck and have nothing the internet doesn't offer.
    38. I am really in the mood for cunnilingus but alone tonight.
    39. My ear piercings are pretty much healed over
    40. My eyebrow piercing is pretty much healed over
    41. Cheese pizza...it serves no purpose.  Macaroni and cheese pizza is a different story
    42. The kids who decide to walk past my house to and from the bus stop and decide my yard is a garbage can.
    43. The Amish who clip-clop past my house at 4:30AM
    44. I have done nothing productive in hours.
    45. Those "Pickin' On" cover albums.
    46. Sucking at keeping friendships
    47. Candy companies that feel the need to put caramel in everything
    48. Waitresses who flirt with me and then once I pay and leave my tip they act like they don't know who I am.
    49. Fast food places don't sell decent hotdogs.
    50. Xanga not working and Xanga Team not addressing our concerns.


    Please, Doctor, fix it.

    Time for some drinking.

    I'll put the yellow cake in the basket.

    LIKE!

    Then once they are born we can send our armed babies on an invasion of North Korea.

    'murkia

    Thank god for Netflix

    I love that big chain pharmacies sell tobacco products.  Walgreen's was the only place where I could get my filterless Luckies.

    I have that sign on my bed.


    Geology 101

    Happy Earth Day!  How did you celebrate?

  • Smile! Somebody out there loves you. On second thought, don't smile. (my horoscope for the week)