September 23, 2013

  • What I Want

    (here's another repost.  I don't know.  I guess I'm getting back into my blue period.)

    -I want to wake up next to you in the morning and slightly cringe at your morning breath as you crawl over and tell me how much you love me.

    -I want to go shopping with you and take the blame when you fart in the store.

    -I want to walk with you under the moonlight and then carry you after you step in a hole and sprain your ankle.

    -I want to sit at a dinner table and tell you that your cooking is good and to prove it I will have a second helping even though your cooking is terrible.

    -I want you to express yourself even though you are wrong and I can prove it.

    -I want to love you regardless of your outfit.  I don’t care if you wear that nice red lace thing or those things with the stripes.  As long as you are in them then I am happy.

    -I want to drive you places and even though you talk and I pretend to listen I’m not listening.  I just want to get you to the destination safely.

    -I want you to promise that you will never make me ask for directions.  I love to drive and all roads lead somewhere.  We might just find a cozy bed and breakfast instead of your co-worker’s baby shower.

    -I want to go shopping with you and hold your bags because I could really use the workout but only if you use your money.

    -I want you to tell me that I screwed up and of course I will remind you that you’re a screw up because you love a screw up.

    -I want you to be able to see me at my worst.  I don’t want you to talk to me through the bathroom door.  Just come in and ask what needs asking.  This is why I have air spray on the toilet tank.

    -I want you to never ask if I find your sister or co-worker attractive.  If I did, I would dump you and date them. 

    -I want you to not feel the necessity to spackle on pounds of make-up just to see me.  A little goes a long way plus natural is an underrated look.

    -I want you to know that you can have sex with me any time you want.  You don’t need to ask unless it involves my rear exit…then you have to ask.

    -I want you to watch sports with me.  Your questions are cute and I appreciate them but once you start yelling about how I need to do something productive with my time then I shut down.  I will dump you if you try to make me pick you or the Packers.

    -I want you to not feel discouraged if you catch me masturbating.  It’s practice for the big game.  You should give me pointers or lend a hand.

    -I want you to hold hands with me but not all the time.  There is a time and place and when I’m trying to figure out which oil I need to put in my car it’s not the right time to hold hands.

    -I want you to fake orgasms all the time.  When I fix something or do some chore, just fake an orgasm.  It makes me feel accomplished and if I think it’s pleasing to you then I will be more willing to do chores.

    -I want to spoon with you and drive my beer belly into the small of your back.

    -I want to wear a top-hat for you.

    -I want you to know that I will lie to you to make you feel good.  When you’re throwing up and pale with a red stuffy nose I will tell you that you are beautiful but it’s because I love you and want you to feel better.

    -I want you to listen to my crackpot ideas.  I truly believe that sex can help remove splinters.

    -I want you to ask me if that outfit makes you look fat.  The answer is yes but I will love you none the less.

    -I want you to lie on top of me so I can watch you rise and fall with my beer gut as I inhale and exhale.

    -I want to take you out and buy you a corn dog, ice cream cone, or one of those frozen bananas dipped in chocolate and then I want to stare deep into your eyes as you eat.  Maybe we could also get one of your girlfriends to join us and you and her could eat the same food item while I stare or maybe she could eat a large slice of watermelon while you eat the ice cream cone or better yet you could eat the watermelon while she eats the ice cream cone.

    -I want to be able to tell you how I feel but I never will because I have no self-confidence and am a chicken.

    -I just want to be happy like everyone else.

Comments (21)

  • Resonation.

  • Feel free to ask questions. I'll respond on your blog as well - to ensure you get the answers.

  • I got an email this morning from a couple of teddy bears. This really happened.

    hi

    she is sleeping nw
    we have pullld her panty downn
    we need help
    unbutttn her pj top
    we have not thumb
    can u hlp us ?

    maxwell & Hardy

  • This belongs in a Valentine's Day card.

    Or, Sweetest Day is next month. GET THESE INTO CARDS NOW!

    • I doubt it would sell. There's not enough Duck Dynasty to it. Gosh...I was in a Walmart and it seems like every single thing I looked for had some Duck Dynasty crap in the same department.

  • you should have the girls watch you eat the ice cream and watermelon...don't be blue =(

  • True love uniquely expressed.

  • RYC: (since you've been around, you must know what that means) I wonder where the "Xanga team" is now? Where is edlives, who was doing the cheerleading and explaining? We could have all moved ourselves to WP for nothing!
    Your list is a bit schitzo (I need spellcheck!). Some of it is sweet, and some of it...well, I will concentrate on the sweet part.

    • yeah I sort of get that last part but then that's what I think love is. It's not always sweet and pretty like they make it seem like in the movies and greeting cards. People fart and have bad breath.
      Edlives actually replied to one of my comments...BY COMING TO MY SITE TO LEAVE A MESSAGE BECAUSE XANGA DOESN'T HAVE A REPLY NOTIFICATION SYSTEM! Apparently on his site he said he's had a lot of stuff going on which more than likely means he's trying to get Xanga to carry over the austible and brain fried network stuff. He hasn't even been on the facebook page where he did seem to be a tad bit too defensive.
      I know Xanga team is supposedly moving all these accounts but I think they they ought to just delete those that haven't been used in 3+ years...and there are plenty.

  • As I said before, this made me say "awww" and lol at the same time. And also "wtf?" You're uniquely gifted at that, in case you didn't know.

  • So this what happens to you when GB loses.

    • well at first I go on a social network site asking if any single female between the ages of 18 and 34 would mind coming over to help console me. That doesn't go over too well.

  • good stuff

    reminds me of http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/173031

    in the old days, I could've 'rec'ed this post

    • yeah this new Xanga is nowhere near as good as the old one but they are promising more changes so who knows.

      I think that poem said it better than I ever could.

  • Doug Heffernan wore a little top hat on his penis at a wedding reception. :-D
    HUGS!!! :-)

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