I am remembering the last government shutdown back in 1995. There was a Democrat in the White House and Congress was controlled by the Republicans. Hmmm. I don't really discuss my politics here but I'll just say that both sides are acting like a toddler who threw it's toy out of a stroller because they didn't want it and now they suddenly want it back. 800,000 workers are going without pay but not our government officials who are doing NOTHING. The rest of the world is looking at us saying "What the actual fuck?" But, friends, you can be happy because there is music.
The Clash...not always known for being political rockers like so many other punk bands of their era but if you listen closely you can find it. And currently this is where I think America is headed
It’s probably worth noting here that there is no mandate for what is happening on Capitol Hill right now. Whatever your opinion on Obamacare, the US electorate has twice voted for a president whose policies the House is now obstructing in defiance of the express wishes of the majority of the American people. “It’s coming to America first/ The cradle of the best and the worst.” Indeed.
Even though the song is about religion it can really be applied to our government with its idiotic partisanship.
“People have the power to dream, to rule/ To wrestle the world from fools”? If only that were the case.
Do you think 800,000 people called work and said they were sick? I think the first sentence of this song is on many Americans' lips.
In 1970, this guy was an angry young poet. He penned a lyric about the skewed nature of government spending complaining that, “I can’t pay no doctor bill/ Ten years from now I’ll be paying still,” while meanwhile huge amounts of money were devoted to the space program. Some 33 years later, we live in a country where the military budget is some $683 billion, but we’re facing a government shutdown over the sort of universal health care program that exists in most other developed countries. Plus ça change
The working class have few heroes and leaders who actually give a damn about us.
This song was inspired by the decline of The Specials' hometown, Coventry. I think this is going to be about a lot of places in the U.S. if shit don't get sorted out soon. It probably could be currently about Detroit.
Such a haunting song..."Well did you hear, there's a natural order/Those most deserving will end up with the most/That the cream cannot help but always rise up to the top/Well I say, "Shit floats"" Cunts still are ruling the world.
We can only hope.
This was the #1 song according to Billboard during the last shutdown. Hopefully it will be a sweet day when government realizes we don't need them as much as they need us.
More than likely nothing will get done for a month or so.
Although not political or anything like that I just wonder how those jokers can sleep with all this shit they created.
I learned this when I was 2. Why didn't any of our politicians?
Did you know my name stands for “Massively Awesome, Touches Titties”?
I saw this girl I’ve known for most of my life the other day.She had a new car.In the back window there was a sticker that said “GRITS:Girl Raised in the South”.I asked her about that because she’s lived in Wisconsin her entire life.“Well I listen to a lot of country music.”I listen to Italian music but that doesn’t make me Al Capone.
There’s two ways to get to the top of an oak tree.The first is that you grab a branch and start climbing.The other is you plant an acorn and sit on it.Just be prepared for some invasive butt stuff.
I think alcohol is the push-up bra of personalities.
I am so psyched for the series finale of the government.All I know is that no matter what happens it will be a better finale than Dexter.Speaking of Dexter, ladies call sex with me “The Dexter” because it ends with nothing but disappointment.
If the government shuts down does that mean murder is legal?It’s not like I have a list.
I bet when the shutdown happens Congress will take credit for creating 800,000 new jobs.
I say we sell Detroit to Canada and see what they can do with it.I bet in a week Canada begs us to take it back and they’ll pay us.Debt crisis solved.
Instead of shutting down the government, why don’t they just unplug it and then plug it back in?
The U.S. budget is like a 1st grader playing Oregon Trail. Spend all the money on ammunition so you can shoot at stuff, then wonder why your wagon is falling apart and everyone is dying of dysentery.
I like being complimented on my intelligence and my oral sex techniques.
If the NBA wanted me to watch, they’d be playing football.
Of all the malls in the world, strip malls are the most promiscuous.
I hear people complain about auto-correct but it really is helpful 99% of the titties.
Nothing says “my penis will never be inside a vagina” like displaying my Beanie Baby collection.Nothing says “I’m never stepping foot in that psycho’s house” like having a gun AND sword cabinet.
I have issues with unisex bathrooms.They should make uniabstinence bathrooms for me.
Did you know that the song “Send in the Clowns” is about a hostage situation when the police have completely ran out of ideas?
Sex is a lot like golf.I haven’t played golf in years.
The last time I got to second base was when I drew boobs in MS Paint.
Life hack: go against the norm and treat everyone with kindness and respect.Be the rare person who doesn’t die with a heart full of bitterness.
There’s a Kickstarter for the third Atlas Shrugged movie because the free market apparently can’t reach its bootstraps.
“My food is cruelty free.” –People who eat crops picked by under payed, overworked, exploited and abused poor migrant workers.
I like to watch Seinfeld with the sound off so I can practice my Sein-language.
The day I become rich is the day I have a TV in my bathroom.
I really wish I had a hickey.Those things are bragging rights without having to say a word.It’s just too bad that my friends aren’t in high school so they probably won’t be impressed.
The next time you think you’re lonely; just remember you have about 25 billion white blood cells in your body protecting your sorry little ass with their life.You have 25 billion friends who would die for you.No need for tears, pussy.
I don’t know how much cunnilingus I have to perform so that I can stop hearing about Miley Cyrus but whatever it is I’m prepared.
The Bible says “Adam and Eve” and not “Adam and Adam and Adam and Adam and Adam and Adam and Adam and Adam and Adam and Adam and Adam and Adam and Adam and Adam and Adam and Adam and Adam.”We must ban cloning.Speaking of Adam and Eve, the Devil would have a real tough time tempting them in this day in age because I’m pretty sure Adam and Eve would ask if the apple was organic because they only eat organic foods.
I bet Fiona Apple would be delicious if she was a type of apple.Either way, I want to eat her awfully bad.
One of my greatest abilities is tricking people online into thinking I’m good looking.
Did you know Samsung is making a curved smartphone.I bet it’s so that certain self-conscious men can feel better about themselves.
My friend won’t lend me his copy of Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves. I guess he never learned how to Cher.
How stressful was it for the first person to ever dial a wrong number!
I’ve always wanted to be a news anchor so I could treat the weatherman like shit.
Hyperbole is the best word in the entire world.
A student asked me what time it was and I started saying, “2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29.”The kid was all confused so I shouted, “IT’S PRIMETIME!”
I always thought “100 ccs” meant “100 cut-up carrots”.
I started a bowling team and called it Disaster because disaster always strikes.
It’s always weird for me to attend weddings because as I’m either standing up front in the wedding party or sitting in a church pew I can’t help but think that in a few hours they married couple will be having sex.
Life is all about taking risks which is why I masturbate with my doors open.
I never quite understood the point of flavored condoms.Do butts and vaginas have taste buds?
I went to the cape store the other day and wanted to try on a new cape.The clerk asked if I needed help trying on the cape and I said, “No, thank you.I’m perfectly capable.”
I don’t yell at my cats for drinking out of the toilet since I’m not a hypocrite.
-Most of the time I emulate Donald Duck around the house. I wear shirts but no pants.
-I really am beginning to dislike the new Xanga. I think Coke 2 had a better plan than Xanga 2.
-As of today since Xanga 2 has started, I have received 2000 spam messages.
-If I’m being followed by a car on a country road, I sometimes pretend they are secret agents and I have to lose them. If I am not pretending that, I am pretending that giant chainsaws are extending from both sides of my car and I cut down everything. I also wave at everyone on the road when driving outside of the town.
-When I interact with a girl, I try to make her feel that I’m not interested but 9 times out of 10, I am.
-I drink Dixie Cups full of water like they are shots.
-Before I enter my car I look in the back seat to make sure no one is there.
- Before I enter my house I look around to make sure there isn’t anyone around.
-I refuse to sit in a restaurant with my back to an entrance.
-I watched The Princess Bride once and I hated it.
-When I go to Walmart or any place that has automatic doors, I pretend that I have telekinesis and I am opening the doors with my brain.
-I still eat snow especially when hunting because it cools me down and makes my breath disappear.
-I hate broccoli.
-I didn’t go to my prom because my school didn’t have prom. My sophomore year was the first year they had dances and the freshmen year was the first year they allowed students to wear blue jeans.
-I look behind the shower curtain whenever I go to the bathroom because I fear someone may be hiding in there that either wants to harm me or take my photo while urinating.
-Whenever I go to a public restroom, I go into a stall so I can look for graffiti.
-Whenever I walk uphill, I fart so I have extra propulsion.
-When I am showering I move my arm so that the water will run down to my fingertips making me an aquatic Wolverine.
-I cling to the hope that one day I will meet a nice woman and get married and be happy. I am losing hope but you could restore my hope.
-I have always wanted to do a post like this mostly because of the song.
I got fired from my job as an archeologist assistant.We were digging in an area trying to determine the natives who lived here and which period of time they dwelt here.Well I found a used tampon and I ran up to the head archeologist and asked, “Which period did this come from?”
I have a fun prank all of you can play.Get $100, put it in an envelope, and mail it to me.
I feel so old lately.I remember renting a VCR from the grocery store.I used to call my friends on a rotary phone that was red and when we’d play at my house we’d play America versus Russia and the President would use that phone to order bomb strikes against Russia and those who were Russians would act like they were melting from nuclear bombs.
When I was your age they gave us pipe cleaners and glue and told us to make shit and play with it.And we did.AND WE LOVED IT!
Oh still feeling old.I wish I could yell at kids to stay off my lawn but I’m part of a generation that’s too poor to afford a lawn.
I wish there was a Gordon Ramsay but for universities and colleges.He would come in and say, “Fuck me, administrators, have you ever actually set foot inside a classroom?Your knowledge of pedagogy is rawer than the chicken I spat out at lunch.”And before you say anything about accreditation bodies being able to take away accreditation from a school, just know they have nothing on Gordon Ramsay’s magical ability to turn around a restaurant or in this case a university in a matter of 5 days.
I hope I start my “hot person” phase soon.I’m really getting tired of this “extremely awkward fat guy” phase.
The best lesson we can learn from Breaking Bad is that we need to pay teachers more and give them better health insurance.
The second best lesson we can learn from Breaking Bad is that if a former high school teacher tries to talk to you just walk away and don’t look back.
I hope common sense is the next cool trend that replaces twerking.
I think the real reason why Republicans keep trying to block Obamacare is that they want to get people so poor that they can’t afford to rent a Rug Doctor or VCR from the grocery store.
My bucket list is just a bunch of beers and liquors I haven’t tried yet.
I want to eat you out but only as a friend.
I had a dentist appointment recently and the dental hygienist told me I should floss more when I told her that I floss about 3 times a week.She then told me I should floss while showering.Well the joke’s on her because I only shower three times a week.
I hope when I walk down the street people see me and think, “Now there’s a guy who can and will eat a jar of Newman’s Own Black Bean & Corn Salsa in one sitting.”
I’m having flashbacks to college and how many of my tests and quizzes were written with Comic Sans.My god…it’s awful!
I like to make fun of things.After all the world is a joke and your face is the punchline.
Recently I was eating at a restaurant and a waiter came to my table and said, “Hello, I’m Life and I’m your server this evening.”He then handed me some lemons and I never saw him again.Let’s just say he didn’t get a tip.Oh and the lemons, well they made an excellent garnish for my cocktails.
I remember going to a Salt-n-Pepa concert years ago and Pep yelled to the audience, “Girls, what’s my weakness?”I shouted back, “Time and money management.”
Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore.A friend of mine told me he was wearing one while he was having sex with this woman and then her husband busted into the bedroom and stabbed him.
I think the AI in the Madden football video games is smarter than the Cleveland Browns GM.
The closest I’ve ever been to the Mile High Club was eating standing up.
Apparently it’s not cool when a girl says, “Hey, I like your soul patch,” and you reply with “Well I like your mustache.”
Do you think anyone is really 100% straight?I think there are a lot of liars out there.I mean Clay Matthews is a handsome man.
In that song “Everlong” by Foo Fighters, Dave Grohl sings “You've got to promise not to stop when I say when.”Well that’s sort of how I feel when I go to Olive Garden and they put cheese on my food.
I don’t think I have a sense of humor any more.I just laugh at sentences poorly word that are.
The day Lil Wayne was released from jail I bought a t-shirt that said “Free Weezy”.The guy who sold it to me asked if I knew that he didn’t need to be freed any more.I replied, “Yes, I’m a collector.”I found that hilarious at the time.Now I wish I had $20.
I want a Sister Wives style reality show where I marry all my female followers on this site.
God doesn’t shut a door and then open a window.No, God isn’t paying to heat the outdoors.
I’m working on a television show with subpar dialogue, no compelling characters, and mediocre story arcs. If Dexter could do that and be successful, so can I.
I bet whenever Gary Busey can’t attend something he says, “I’m sorry but I can’t because I’m Gary…Busy.”
A dude asked me the other night at the bar what kind of music I was into.I replied with a generic “a lot of rock, a lot of punk, but I listen to anything,” answer.He said, “No offense, but you don’t look punk.You don’t have a leather jacket with spikes or a mohawk.”I almost kicked him with my steel toed boots.
When I was a kid my parents told me I should never refer to a woman as a “broad”.I also thought this applied to “broad daylight” so when I was at a friend’s house and heard a news anchor talk about a robbery in broad daylight I gasped and said that the anchor was sexist.
I’ve never seen a dog chase a cat up a tree but there was this one time I saw a rabid squirrel scamper up a tree and eat a bird.
I want to say my vacuum cleaner sucks but it doesn’t and that’s the problem.
This week I’ve learned why you don’t send messages on OKCupid.It’s because they will come view my page and then email and tell me I’m not good looking enough to date them.
I think one of the most terrifying things that there is at my house are night bees.These bees are only active at night.I got stung once.I need to start wearing armor to bed.
Well once again...blah blah blah...Xanga is starting to become not fun because they aren't making this site interactive fast enough. I feel bad for people who paid for this.
MEW
A smile
Potato, cheese, and garlic pirogi
Golden Corral…they thaw their frozen food by spraying hot water on it, not that it is wrong but they have to food placed on the floor.
beer
does it count if I didn’t hug back but they just came up to me and said I looked like I needed a hug and I grumbled?
nope
sure
I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and doggone it, people like me. I may also throw in that I can sing and I am strong
I was at a church picnic or a Chinese place
It’s either Jesus or Evan Williams
12:23AM
kids shouting at the bus stop across from my house
can I say both since I am a fan of both
yes
Italian
St. Swithun’s Day
Who doesn’t
not really unless they smell
I always get the feeling that they are actually insults geared toward the wearer of the tattoo but if I get a tattoo it will be a Chinese symbol for the word "barbwire"
only if her husband agrees...and this was posted 4 years ago
I’m not that special or lovable
Once again, Jesus or Evan Williams
Only for sexy times purposes
No and for a whole summer I worked next to a bungee jump business
No
not that I am aware of but when people hit on me it usually goes over my head because it happens so rarely
2 cats
yeah, he had a bad case of sunburn
sunny and somewhat warm
syndicated 2 and a Half Men
Tonight You Belong to Me sung by Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters
Gallipoli, I think it was Mel Gibson’s first movie. He gets naked and you see his bare-ass but that is not why I watched
No, I fear hurting my eye with them
Library
Birds, dogs, heights, dying alone
at one point it was up to 7
I have thought about the nipples but I have an inny and I don’t know if I want doorknockers
Women are embarrassed by me
the last thing I ordered from a Starbucks was a bottle of their cinnamon syrup
I’m not reading, I’m filling out a survey. OK but I regularily read ESPN: The Magazine and Maxim
repeatedly
sure
at the moment I am really digging old shows like Rome and Freaks and Geeks oh and The Shield and Sons of Anarchy and of course Big Brother
Never played it even though I had a free account because I bought a South Park DVD
yes
Chris Farley, Jon Candy, William Howard Taft
Megan Fox with a ball gag in her mouth and in a prison cell for life
so difficult…Pulp Fiction or Clerks
no
I once got caught cheating on a test, I hadn’t received my copy and a classmate asked me a question and I gave him the answer. I had five points taken off my test and I still got an A+
I must admit I love the smell of napalm in the morning and gasoline and freshly baked bread
I mostly eat plain because it is healthier than the other two options
no but it sounds fun
I did a few ride alongs with a police department
an aunt passed away earlier this summer
Our Lady Peace…Nickelback is the worst band and quite possible the most overrated in the history of rock
Now that I answered the Nickelback question, they relly bug me, I am also irritated by people talking to themselves out loud
as a performer he was OK but I detest him as a human being
Taco Bell
Ah…I have always loved this stuff called Happy by Clinique
toss up between the Red Sox and the Brewers
when I was a strange pre-teen I found an add for a phone sex number in one of my dad’s magazines…it was something like 1-900-WET-FART. It was a let down.
Depends on the person, sometimes the nose rings look like boogers
5 days, I started seeing things
years ago, in college for PE, I bowled an 11
people think I am strange because I like to sleep on the floor
a Christian life insurance company
today
a bottle of Peach Schnapps
If you want to know more, ask.
And now for the more personal touch in a style of Jeopardy.
This measures 13 inches. What is my forearm? (What did you think it was, perv)
This is 10 inches in circumference. What is my wrist? (It’s hard to find watches)
This is 12 inches. What is my fist? (and I wear a size 15 ring)
This is 22 inches. What are my biceps? (I feel bad that I have yet to achieve Hulk Hogan’s 24 inch pythons)
This is 26 inches. What are my calf muscles? (Yes, I am a power lifter. I was once able to do 1000lbs on a hip sled and could squat 600+lbs. I maxed out on a bench press at 425lbs but now I am down to 300lbs)
And now what you all are anxiously waiting for
This is a nude pic. Yes, that’s right picture. When I was student teaching, my supervisor chewed me out for not using proper English terms for photographs and pictures.
I said the above was a picture. He said no that it was a photograph. Photographs are living people and real things. Pictures contain no “real” objects. He was quite anal about this and ranted for a good half hour. So I don’t feel so bad sharing a nude picture of myself
Yes, it’s a disturbing picture but to borrow a line from the Blood Hound Gang “I’m hung like planet Pluto, hard to see with the naked eye.”
Well I hope you have enjoyed this little look into my madness.
(here's another repost. I don't know. I guess I'm getting back into my blue period.)
-I want to wake up next to you in the morning and slightly cringe at your morning breath as you crawl over and tell me how much you love me.
-I want to go shopping with you and take the blame when you fart in the store.
-I want to walk with you under the moonlight and then carry you after you step in a hole and sprain your ankle.
-I want to sit at a dinner table and tell you that your cooking is good and to prove it I will have a second helping even though your cooking is terrible.
-I want you to express yourself even though you are wrong and I can prove it.
-I want to love you regardless of your outfit.I don’t care if you wear that nice red lace thing or those things with the stripes.As long as you are in them then I am happy.
-I want to drive you places and even though you talk and I pretend to listen I’m not listening.I just want to get you to the destination safely.
-I want you to promise that you will never make me ask for directions.I love to drive and all roads lead somewhere.We might just find a cozy bed and breakfast instead of your co-worker’s baby shower.
-I want to go shopping with you and hold your bags because I could really use the workout but only if you use your money.
-I want you to tell me that I screwed up and of course I will remind you that you’re a screw up because you love a screw up.
-I want you to be able to see me at my worst.I don’t want you to talk to me through the bathroom door.Just come in and ask what needs asking.This is why I have air spray on the toilet tank.
-I want you to never ask if I find your sister or co-worker attractive.If I did, I would dump you and date them.
-I want you to not feel the necessity to spackle on pounds of make-up just to see me.A little goes a long way plus natural is an underrated look.
-I want you to know that you can have sex with me any time you want.You don’t need to ask unless it involves my rear exit…then you have to ask.
-I want you to watch sports with me.Your questions are cute and I appreciate them but once you start yelling about how I need to do something productive with my time then I shut down.I will dump you if you try to make me pick you or the Packers.
-I want you to not feel discouraged if you catch me masturbating.It’s practice for the big game.You should give me pointers or lend a hand.
-I want you to hold hands with me but not all the time.There is a time and place and when I’m trying to figure out which oil I need to put in my car it’s not the right time to hold hands.
-I want you to fake orgasms all the time.When I fix something or do some chore, just fake an orgasm.It makes me feel accomplished and if I think it’s pleasing to you then I will be more willing to do chores.
-I want to spoon with you and drive my beer belly into the small of your back.
-I want you to know that I will lie to you to make you feel good.When you’re throwing up and pale with a red stuffy nose I will tell you that you are beautiful but it’s because I love you and want you to feel better.
-I want you to listen to my crackpot ideas.I truly believe that sex can help remove splinters.
-I want you to ask me if that outfit makes you look fat.The answer is yes but I will love you none the less.
-I want you to lie on top of me so I can watch you rise and fall with my beer gut as I inhale and exhale.
-I want to take you out and buy you a corn dog, ice cream cone, or one of those frozen bananas dipped in chocolate and then I want to stare deep into your eyes as you eat.Maybe we could also get one of your girlfriends to join us and you and her could eat the same food item while I stare or maybe she could eat a large slice of watermelon while you eat the ice cream cone or better yet you could eat the watermelon while she eats the ice cream cone.
-I want to be able to tell you how I feel but I never will because I have no self-confidence and am a chicken.
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