August 10, 2010
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Motivation
I hate when people use "we" when referring to their favorite sports team. Ex: "Yeah, we kicked ass last night." Was that you that was called out of the bullpen in the 8th to face the 4, 5, and 6, hitters while trying to hold a 1 run lead? Oh, no? You said "we" like you were there. If you're not on the fucking roster, don't use "we".
I have sex like I invented sex.
Just to be clear, it's not like I was bringing the falcon into the store. He just loves attacking people at Dollar Tree and Game Stop. He feeds on their fear.
Five years from now, we will look back at our time on Xanga and will be embarrassed about all the things we fought about. So for the last time AC/DC's album 'Stiff Upper Lip" was way better than "Ball Breaker". Do you know what fighting on Xanga is like? Well if my answer wasn't so offensive and I didn't want to fight anyone, I'd tell you and put you in your place.
I heard from my old friend One Nut. If you ask about how he got his name, I'll tell you. He was bragging that even though he only has one testicle that it's more than Justin Bieber.I ate a Chinese restaurant today and my fortune cookie said, "Fuck your life". FML
Here's your weekly dose of motivation:
It looks like Linda McMahon is going to get the chance to lay the smack down on Capitol Hill.
Trying to cut down on your AC use? Become an Eskimo.
Heat advisories are just a good excuse for me to wear a speedo to WalMart.
Not commenting on this page or not recommending this entry is hazardous to your health, sort of like letting Michael J. Fox hold your baby.
And one more thing...feeling like there's no tomorrow? Go buy yourself a calendar.
Comments (30)
I completely agree with your take on the "we" when talking about sport teams. I rarely use "we" but when I say it, most of the time I always correct myself right after.
I feel so motivated. Especially by that version of clocks.
@kachino -
I think the only people that can say "we" are those who own the Packers.
Ahhh motivation. Now I feel like edit 600+ pictures from my second wedding shoot.. Almost. Think I would rather watch House of Wax on MTV and cry when Jared P. gets his Achilles tendons cut
*cringe*
It took me a hot second to figure out the "I reckon" one. But that was good.
@I_Create -
Yeah, I love that version. I found all these songs mixed like that under a name of Rhythms del Mundo. That stuff gets me in a dancing mood.
@twistedmistletoe -
I watch that movie...or maybe I'm confusing it with another...for Paris Hilton's death scene. I think that the wedding pictures would pay more than House of Wax but who knows, maybe one day you'll be on Jeopardy and the final question is: This body part, named after a hero in the Trojan War, was cut in the movie House of Wax.
"Trying to cut down on your AC use? Become an Eskimo."
My mind automatically strayed to that Danino commercial where the Eskimo toddle makes a Danino Yogurt popsicle. I've wanted to try one ever since.
@m_kabs -
Hmm I am going to have to try that.
I agree on the "we" part & the Justin Bieber and One Nut is pretty funny.
OMG the pictures had me rolling on the floor laughing!!!!
Damn, for a second there I thought this was going to be a tribute to Sticky when I saw all of the wheelie chairs. You're just teasing me - letting me see that ball of flames rolling down the street.
I certainly feel motivated - time to get out the crayons and do another Sticky toon.
The ugly duckling one is so sad!! Ugly ducklings all over the world are depressed now.
I'm not used to such pathos; then again, these were demotivating. "She's so fat she uses American flags for pasties!" (why? why?)
If I see a speedo at work today I am so coming back here to kick your ass! lol
I don't get Justin Bieber. His hair and music annoy me.
Okay, I'm on my way out to buy a calender.
i luv the ignoramus vs imbecile and facebook posters, too funny =) ...but you are so baaad (...or is it evil??
ie the Michael J. Fox line (still, i'm trying not to laughhhh) =P
buena vista version of clocks is awesome. actually that whole album is really good. loved the post!
@xchinkylaydee -
Well I am going to have to write about One Nut again. It's a sick story but it just proves that I have a unique life.
@rickystarrr -
Good...I'll keep them coming because I have about 100 more waiting to be posted.
@DickDoktorII -
I knew you would like those. I found those when I was searching for photos like the ones I sent you. I hope you aren't mad that I didn't send you these but now you have them. I'll keep my eye open for more.
@windoftheforest -
Just like Jesus is depressed that somebody spilled oil in his ocean.
@POETIC_ISIS -
Yes, I know they aren't motivational but I think these are better than the actual motivational posters. One in the doctor's office says, "Achievement: Strive" What is that? Oh and to answer your question...because she's patriotic.
<----that's me
Once again, an epic win. That's... that's funny. I'm laughing out loud, and I'm super glad my roommates aren't here to look at me like I'm an idiot.
.
I can't resist asking how One Nut got his name... or rather, what led up to him getting his name.
This was pretty great. Thanks for sharing them. :]
@quodmenutriut -
Oh man...one of my goals with my posting is to get people to think that whomever is reading my post is a raving mad lunatic.
The legend of Ol' One Nut is on the way.
@queenof__hearts -
Thank you for stopping by
@godfatherofgreenbay - oh they would have, and they do regularly. In fact, the other day I read a post of yours, for Project Positive, and I busted up laughing, and my roommate looked at me oddly until I was like.... hok, look! and then he laughed too... and gave me a Pam Anderson history lesson? ... wierdo.
@quodmenutriut -
Well I just posted the stories. I don't laugh at them but that's me since I've told one so many times.
@godfatherofgreenbay -
It's cool.
I like reading your stuff.
Comments are closed.