August 10, 2010

• Xanga Letters

  So because all the kiddies are doing it…and some may be negative but this is my blog.  I already posted my positive shit for the day.  I think I am doing these wrong.

  1.  I like you and all your nuttiness.

  2.  You are awesome.

  3.  Remember that one time we got drunk and had Dick’s girlfriend at the time drive us to the Cash Wise?  That was awesome!  As we were driving the carts around the store and screaming about our inebriated state and you crashing into a bread display, I felt like you were my brother.  I also felt like your older brother the time I forced you away from that one girl..you know the one who a few days later uttered, “I know you!”  You have a beautiful family.  As to feeling like a brother…well, only a brother would let their sibling piss out the window of a moving car AND LAUGH ABOUT IT!

  4.  There was a time I really enjoyed having you at Xanga.  You were into good music and weren’t all mainstreamy but then something changed.  You claimed about how you were non-conformist and at the same time you were conforming to others’ ideas of what a non-conformist was.  You are not unique.  You are not an individual.  You are a weak-minded sheep who when you solicit advice do not like what you hear so you ignore me and insult my dead girlfriend.  You are nothing but a troll and I am thankful you are no longer in my life.

  5.  There are times when I think we are on the same wave-length and that we read each other’s mind.  It’s sort of freaky but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  Maybe it’s because you know too many of my secrets therefore if I traded it, you would give away my secrets and I would be ruined.  People can’t know I have a like of Coldplay.

  6.  I love your artwork and I want you to style my hair sometime.

  7.  There was a time when you said disparaging comments about my people but I realized that you are a racist and you hate all non-white races so I guess you’re forgiven?

  8.  I can’t believe you let that little troll run you off from this site so that you have to go into hiding under a different Xanga name. 

  9.  We really need to get together and have a few bourbons, a few scotches, and a few beers.  I don’t know if I’d be able to drink much since I have had one drink since June 19th.  I’m slacking but my health is more important.

  10.  Remember that time on my 21st birthday when you took me to The Hideout and you let that bartender make me an Ocean Wave?  For those of you who weren’t there…an ocean wave is a simple shot of Curaçao but as the person is drinking it the bartender splashes them with a glass of water.  I have to say I forgave you and had a blast.  I wish I could see more of you and your family although I am certain I would frighten your children.  Also, I still get the feeling that your wife really hates me.  I think she thinks that I corrupt you. 

  11.  I am sorry I couldn’t make it to your wedding.  I probably would have made an ass of myself because it would have been the first wedding in a long time where I didn’t stand up.  I had to work that weekend and I wish I didn’t.  I need to grab your address but I hate being a third wheel and I realize you’re enjoying the new wife.  Maybe I’m jealous, I don’t rightly know.  You deserve the best in life for all your struggles but I will never understand why you like Jim Belushi.

  12.  As much as I love your second wife, I have to say that your first wedding was one of the greatest sociological experiences in recorded history.  Beer…check.  Bottle rockets…check.  Beating a car with a hammer…check.  Shooting said bottle rockets at the neighbor’s back porch…check.  An American flag motorcycle helmet…check.  Bike stunts in the backyard…check.  Your 15 year old brother drunk…check.  An 8 year old who cussed like a sailor on shore leave…check.  Realizing we have 10 minutes to get to the meet-up location and we haven’t gotten dressed…check.  Being drunk and passing out during the ceremony…check.  Fireworks in the church parking lot…check.  God, there was so much more but I don’t remember because of all the booze.  I had a blast.  I wish I could have been at your second wedding but I wouldn’t have been as wild.  I’ve matured as have you.  You are the man and I respect you deeply for taking in her kids.  You are a better man than me and I love you, man.  Next time we get together, I’ll bring your old man a case of Grain Belt.

  13.  I saw someone post this before and I’m going to borrow their phrase: You could take a shit on a piece of paper and call it poetry and I would love it as would everyone else.

  14.  Ich muss Deutschland besichtigen, bevor ich sterbe.  Ich würde Sie Getränk Bier und Kirschwasser auf dem Grab Ihres berühmtesten Schülers bilden.  Ich stelle fest, dass ich die formalen Wörter verwendete, aber das ist, wie viel ich Sie respektiere.

  15.  Debo visitar Alemania antes de que muera porque mi español es como el de un colibrí. Yo como el arroz y las habas para los cumpleaños.

  16.  In the short time that I have known you, you are so cool and you get me thinking but it isn’t always the best because I can’t tell fiction from fact but then maybe that is a sign of excellent writing.

  17. You, sir, have a way with words that is unmatched.  My only advise to you, if you take your writing further, is to never use semicolons.  I am an English minor and I don’t remember how to use them.

  18.  I think about you quite often because of how cool you are to me.  Believe it or not, I am not a stalker.

  19.  There was a time when I was unsure of Xanga’s ladies exposing their breasts to raise money for breast cancer awareness but then you showed me what the bare-breasted Xanga ladies did for money and how it was spent, but the greatest thing was that you showed me boobs.

  20.  I feel bad that I have not been to see you this summer but with my health and work schedule, I don’t have the time to visit when you would be available. I really need to see Lily and to remind me, I bought a picture frame and she is now watching me work on the computer.  You three are amazing and I have to say you are probably one of the best organists that I know.

  21.  I love all the traffic you bring to my site when you recommend my writings.  It makes me smile from ear to ear and if you are playing a drinking game at home, you could say that what you do is BONERIFIC!

  22.  You and I may not share the same political views or religious views but I respect your beliefs or disbelief…however you want to put it.  I hope I don’t come off as a Bible-thumper because the Bible does say to make disciples but not to force my beliefs and “rules” on others.

  23.  אם אתה לוקח את הזמן לתרגם את זה, יש לך הרבה יותר מדי זמן על הידיים. אני רימו אותך.

  24.  Fuck you…fuck you…fuck you…you’re cool…and fuck you, I’m out.

  Time to dance
  

  
  HAHAHAHA..not me by the way…I’m much fatter.  I’m not going to be on Xanga tomorrow until late.  My mom has a medical conference at the UW Hospital and because it’s in the big city I have to drive.  I don’t know how we’ll get home because while she’s learning about innards I’m going to find myself a kegger.  It’s the University of Wisconsin so there’s got to be a kegger on a Tuesday morning.

  • 6:36 PM
  • 79 Comments