August 18, 2010
-
Motivation
Bobby Thompson died.
Has anyone with less talent had a longer shelf life than Ke$ha? Even Paris Hilton could do sex tricks in nightvision. Ke$ha should film a sex tape with the rapper Curren$y because it makes ¢ents.
Are you having trouble fitting in? Try KY Jelly. Looking for a good morning cardio routine? Tape money to your clothes and jog by homeless people. Are you sad because he left you? If you liked it, then you should’ve put a NuvaRing® in it.
I’d like to announce my retirement from making fun of Brett Favre.
In other career moves, Dane Cook has decided to try his hand at comedy.
I don’t care if there is a resurgence in popularity, Four Square is for squares.
It’s good to see Haley Joe Osmet back in the movie industry. Too bad he was scooping up my popcorn at the Desert Star Cinema.
Here’s you weekly dose of motivation:
And I’m back…the Messiah has returned to Minnesota. The three wisemen must have blew him properly.
Brett Favre is the herpes of the NFL. Treatable, but an embarrassing inconvenience that never fully goes away. It just keeps coming back again and again and again long after the fun is gone.
The NFL, to appease Favre’s ego, is planning on renaming the interception, “the Favre”. “Brett Favre back in the pocket, he’s throwing deep, and once again he’s Favred.”
Dear Brent Favre,
Thank you for taking the heat off me by creating a bigger self-absorbed circus about “where will he go”. Call me when you’re in Miami. Maybe we can do an ESPN special about our decision where we plan on eating.
Thanks,
LeBron JonesBrett Favre is a terrorist. He’s held 3 organizations captive the past 7 years and the horrible thing is that Vikings fans are acting like Favre is the second coming of Herschel Walker.
And now I am officially retiring from making fun of Brett Favre.Have a great night.
Comments (69)
0.0 boobies
Oh I would like to try the HORNYCARE too…
hmmm I…don’t understand the two “bork” ones….
Is the promise about leaving Brett Favre for real – or is this some kind of sick joke, like Sticky leaving Xanga?
@TheDarkCreature -
And you! It’s past your bed time, – get to sleep!
Lol @ “MTV Makes Me Wanna Smoke Crack”
“In other career moves, Dane Cook has decided to try his hand at comedy.” LMAO!!!!!!!!!
“thanks, lebron jones” hahaaa …how do i know that’s deff not a typo? =P
gosh those boobs are disgusting.
LOL! Your jokes are hilarious! Haven’t lost your touch! And LOL @ the messed up posters called “Respect” and “You See That??” XD!!
Ahhh, I have missed you and your tart tongue, my dear friend!
#1 Thanks for making me laugh!
#2 As someone from NE Ohio, I believe no one will top LeBron James as being the most egotistical man in sports.
#3 The Jesus & Mary Chain rocks my world! (and the Beck song isn’t too shabby either)
The double headed penis needs two heads because clearly the one isn’t enough.
There were 13th century Lesbians?
Looking for a good morning cardio routine? Saw a couple of uncooked steaks on your swimsuit and go for a swim in the ocean..!
Nah, it’s not good as your version..
haha i love these posts. thanks!
that poor woman… she’s doesn’t have back problems with those boobs she has an entire body problem…
@TheDarkCreature -
Yes…those are…impressive?
@NiDH0GG -
Oh the Bork ones are of a character from the Muppets Show named the Swedish Chef and basically that was all he said.
@DickDoktorII -
I notice his site is still up. He will make a triumphant return and I bet it will be in under a week.
@Chosen_Defined -
It does especially with their non-stop teen pregnancy shows.
@rickystarrr -
I’m not a Dane Cook fan unlike most of the world or so it seems.
@Peridot21 -
Me, a typo? That’s unpossible.
@TheSecretLifeOfPandas -
I hope that is shopped
@mZdejavuZ -
Was I ever in doubt? I probably did lately because I have been battling a bout of depression.
@Hellion_Rebellion -
Glad to see you are back.
@fargoneandout -
Thank you…there is only one person who could top LeBron and that would be Favre. I uploaded that Jesus and Mary Chain song some time ago. I don’t know if this is blasphemy but I like it better than the original.
@SodomyClown -
Just like most men?
@HereLiesNelsontheGreat -
Probably been around a lot longer than that
@ccRowp -
That would be a good one or sew steaks to clothes and run through the jungle.
@Findingvanessa -
Thank you!
@NightlyDreams -
She probably has to use a forklift to help her get around.
@godfatherofgreenbay - lol well, yeah, that too
…but i meant that i know you don’t heart King Jones 
@Peridot21 -
Oh boy, I goofed. Well I don’t heart heart King Jones as much as I do heart Betty White…wrap your mind around that while feasting on my recent recipes.
@godfatherofgreenbay - i’m deff gonna check those out, it’s on my to do list (i’m really behind being away from xanga for a mere five days) …but i may not be able to do that mind wrap thing and feasting at the same time …don’t want my head to explode
oh, and re your De La Soul comment… have you seen that plug that says ‘random something something … me myself and i’? …when i saw it last night, i started to sing that song lol …so i had to upload it …it’s a good one though, ain’t it?
@Peridot21 -
OK OK OK…I’ll back off. I don’t want your head to explode. I was wondering where you went. So where you went?
So I just heard that song this afternoon when I put in my football game to relive the playing days.
@godfatherofgreenbay - haha well, thank you, godfather :) …yeah, what a mess that would be, let me tell ya!
…heyyyy, wait a miiiinute, are you saying that you didn’t know that song was gonna play?? cause if not, there’s that magic… again! spookyyyy! lol :D …oh, and where i went was… out of town to visit with family… i -of course- brought my laptop with me, but didn’t really have much time to play on it …AND/OR… the computer-addicted members of my family were hogging it! (can you guess what for? here’s a hint: it starts with face and ends with book 
…they -of course- did NOT bring theirs, the sillies lol :)
@Peridot21 -
Well it’s been so long since I played the game because I have been playing an even older system but what shocked me most was that it was the first song to play. Ah…family time. I should do that more often. Want to hear how addicted my family is to facebook? After my aunt’s funeral this winter, two of my cousins brought out their laptops to friend everyone and then other cousins sat there and played their farms and mafias. It was such a farce.
@godfatherofgreenbay - o. m. g. the first song …wait, why do i hear someone whispering ‘be afraid, be very afraid’?? =P
and, oh my, that’s prollyyyy not appropriate behavior for a funeral… although i’m sure it’s not written down anywhere… once again, i am so glad i got that fb monkey off my back… =/
@Peridot21 -
You had a facebook? I do but it’s not that important to me since most of my friends IRL on there don’t talk anymore since they have kids and crap like that.
Because MTV is very scary and will suck you in and kill your brain.
@godfatherofgreenbay - yep, i did have a facebook… it was a while back, about hmmm two years ago, before it was even (allegedly) all that… i kinda sorta always thought it was lame though, and then it just got awful for me (long. boring. storyyyy) …and, yes, MTV is and it will, thanks for the re-mind!
@Peridot21 -
Wow, I remember when I couldn’t join because I wasn’t a high fallutin’ college student but then once the restrictions were lifted I joined. It was weird because all my students befriended me so I couldn’t be…well…me. That’s why no one knows my Xanga except you….shhh
@godfatherofgreenbay - lol how ’bout that, i shhh’d you and you shhh’d me, all in one day’s time
…but you got it, shhh it is …and, yeah, couldn’t be you, i totally get that… there are just too many degrees of, well, whatever the opposite of separation is lol …i was on myspace first so i guess i was late coming to fb, really …but it deff wasn’t anything like it is now when i was there …i mean every frkn business has one, every everything has one actually …except lil ol’ meeee, i reckon… 
@Peridot21 -
Hmmm…that is freaky about the shhhh-ing. I think you have to be some sort of wizard.
The internet has made the world a smaller place and has created a whole new generation of stalkers and creeps. I actually was on myspace quite early in it’s life. I got on because Rivers Cuomo was posting solo work on that newfangled site. I was such a die-hard Weezer fan that I had to hear it and the only way was to join. Then when it boomed some friends and I would have so much fun building fake sites. I built this one and I can’t even remember it because I haven’t been in there in years. And guess what? I just logged in…hot dang.
@Peridot21 -
Oh and I also wanted to ask…new profile pic? I thought I saw one today. That means I have to upload something. I was also wondering if you were Irish.
@godfatherofgreenbay - ahaha i just went to your myspace… and real quick-like looked through all of your 800 plus friends, which include Rambo, Geraldo, JKF, Van Morrison, Mr. T, John Wayne and even Uncle Sam! Wow!
…i would have freaked if there was someone i “knew” from those days in your friends, but there wasn’t, so crisis averted! lol
yessir, you did see a new profile pic (er of me, you mean, right?) …i had to change it back though (which has to do with that long boring story from before… i start to get kinda sorta paraaanoid, s’no fun) …oh, and yeah, i’m Irish (just about half… the other just about half is German… plus a little Dutch for good measure
…that means you have to upload something? upload what? spill it, godfather! lol =P
@godfatherofgreenbay -
…and their “reality” shows.
@Chosen_Defined -
There is only one true reality show on MTV that I enjoy and lately it has sucked and that is True Life. Back in the day, that was one of the best shows.
@Peridot21 -
That was the one I created that originally it was that the actual war signed up for myspace but it turned into something much bigger. I had all these veterans coming and telling their stories and then I got a couple of women who started hitting on me and I had to back away. At my height I had 8 myspaces. I didn’t do them every day. I think one of my friends created a couple dozen. Oh and somehow my cats have their own myspace. My real myspace has sort of made a comeback and it’s because well you will think less of me if I even whisper the secret. I stopped using it because a stalkerish ex went crazy on it and I blocked her and faked my death. She hasn’t bothered me since.
OK the reason I ask is because I was listening to random songs on my jukebox (Not really a jukebox but my 300 disc changer) and when I noticed your profile pic it was playing “When Irish Eyes are Smiling” and that was funny because well your eyes smile. Sorry for that. Oh I and took a couple photos of myself so eventually they will get posted.
wow, your stalker was that bad that you had to fake that?? man, it’s chicks like that that give us all a bad name, ya know? sorry to hear about that craziness, but glad the problem is solved at least… i like to think of myself as the anti-stalker chick, i mean srsly, that stuff is soooo messed up… one time, recently, an ex of one of my exes was all messed up about their breakup and she called my house nonstop, literally nonstop, for like 2 days, for what? idk… thank gawd for caller id, i just never answered and prayed she’d go awayyyy… that was yet another reminder (like i needed one lol) of exactly what not to do as an ex… =/
(sorry ’bout all the deleting stuff… i had to fix something… and then fix it again… OCD remember… lol)
and the first part of my comment isn’t showing up… ohmygawdshootmenow lol =P
this is what it said… (although it’s gonna seem weird after the fact probablyyyy… )
awww thanks, godfatherrrr… that is an awesome compliment, in my opinion, so thaaaanks =) …i luuuv that song btw …actually i luv pretty much all Irish songs lol …and, good, you should post your photos …i used to have a handful of pics of myself on my site but my paranoia won out ughhh and i took them down…
@Peridot21 -
I was wondering because it said 4 comments. I was ecstatic but I guess I get that way whenever I see your comments. I have had strange luck with exes. I already told you about that one. I had one that disappeared for a few months. Turns out that after our break-up she went to Paris and got herself in a lot of trouble. She died. Then I had another move south and marry a Baptist minister and now she finds me on Facebook and shows me her family and brags it up all the time. When we were together she told me this tale of how she could never have children and she just popped out her 5th. Then there was the one I never got over but that’s a different story which I shared here but people thought it was fiction. I had a former friend here insult that recently and I guess I use former now…man I am rambling. Anywho…I understand the paranoia. Why do you think I don’t post photos of myself? I think in all my time on Xanga I’ve only posted two photos of my face. One was my football photo from when I was a teenager and one was from a couple years ago of me celebrating St. Patty’s Day. That was a blast and you can tell I had one in the photo. Also with how I was a minister and I have found former students here but I don’t think they’ve found my site. I guess I have toned down my posts because I am getting mellower with old age either that or I’ve resigned to certain things in life. Irish music…I have so many cds of Irish folk music as well as Irish protest music and I also have music from the University of Notre Dame…my favorite is either Damsha Bua or Rakes of Mallow. I really need to learn how to shut up…sorry.
@godfatherofgreenbay - first of all, you really don’t need to learn how to shut up, no. really. …second of all, omg those are some pretty good (or bad? idk) ex stories right there… which entry was the one you shared about an ex? did i read it? but, yeah, a lot of times, i think, there’s stuff that people post where it’s hard to know whether it’s real or not, and sometimes they want it that way… and, to rival your not shutting-up-ness, i have two things to share with you, so here goes… have you seen this pic ? lol …i saw it late last night and totally thought of you! also, since we got to talking about Irish music and whatnot, i was reminded of this song that my totally crazy (but fun) relatives in the Chi just loooove to sing (especially when drunk and at family weddings! lolol) …the best line in the whole song is the one about the White Sox and the Cubs, well, as far as my fam is concerned anywaaaay lol. =D
@Peridot21 -
Thank you for all of that. I get wordy. Brevity is my enemy. I guess I don’t share much of my personal life because a couple years ago when I was battling for my life with the pneumonia and mystery illness, I kept updating people and someone said, “I don’t care about your life, make with the funny.” Anyway this is the entry I was talking about. I wrote it about a year ago and I don’t think you visited my site at that time but I could be wrong. That pic comes from Sconnie Nation. They have some great t-shirts. They sell stuff you can’t get at the UW stores. I actually get onesies for all my friends who have babies at the actual Sconnie Nation store. The UW shop has a little girl cheerleader outfit that I think I’m going to get for my goddaughter but her parents aren’t from Wisconsin. I also think I need to get those Worst State Ever shirts and wear them around the Dells. I like that song. I couldn’t find the one I wanted to share but I found another good one. I don’t know why but this song seems to get where I live in the state down perfectly.
@godfatherofgreenbay -
Oh no… what’s going on…?
@mZdejavuZ -
Oh just a bunch of stuff. I guess it’s just a feeling of sadness and coping with how things are going with life and friends.
@godfatherofgreenbay -
I’m sorry… I hope things improve soon… If you ever need to talk, I’m always willing to listen…
@mZdejavuZ -
Thanks
@godfatherofgreenbay - i just read your Love Lost post… that is just unbelievably sad, i’m so sorry… and, not sure if i should mention this or not, but i’m gonna anyway… i think i did read that way back when (probably cause of a rec) but i didn’t know you, at all, and since it was so sad, i just didn’t feel right commenting on it (hope you don’t think that’s weird or whatever)…
ughhh i’ve gotta go for a bit (a friend needs a ride and he keeps texting me over and over ha) …i’ll come back and finish commenting on your comment after that (brevity is my enemy as well, remember
@Peridot21 -
@godfatherofgreenbay - i should have known you already knew about that Brent pic lol, still it did remind me of you, so i had to share =) …and, omg, i just listened to that song lol …Turdy Point Buck! …sillyyyy =D …the main guy doesn’t sound all that authentically Wisconsin though lol …but certain words are totally on …and they sound like our next door neighbors up there in the northwoods, don’cha knowwww hehe
@godfatherofgreenbay - i totally understand. and, again, i’m so sorry, godfather.
@Peridot21 -
I have three albums of that band…true Wisconsinite. they do a song that I love called Bear Fans in Wisconsin. It really fits for the town where I live. One of my neighbors talks with a bad Wisconsin accent and says all the words relevant to Wisconics…you betcha…don’cha know…for cripes sakes…crime-any…bubbler.
Oh and it’s ok. By the way, you can call me Matt.
@godfatherofgreenbay - really? lol… ok, true it is then… i have no idea why it sounded like, idk, a Russian accent or something in certain parts lol… but, like i said, certain words were soooo Wisconsin, and really did sound like our northwoods neighbors… yah, you betcha!
Oh, and okay, great! Matt it is then! Thanks. :) You can call me Miss S. …kiddingggg!!! =P ( …you remember my real name, right?)
@Peridot21 -
well you are right with the Russian because much of northern Wisconsin seems to be of Polish decent. One time when I was in Eagle River, the people renting a cabin next to my family’s were super Poles. They had a “ski” at both ends of their name.
Hmmm in typical guy fashion I remember your initials are PMS and I remember talking about fake facebook profiles and suggested you start one. You said Pam would have been easy. Maybe I am way off. Or maybe Dwight’s deputy skills have rubbed off on me.
@godfatherofgreenbay - :) ding!ding!ding! you are correct, sir! dwight k. schrute’s got nothin’ on you… matt. ;)
@Peridot21 -
Now…if the the M stood for Morgan then I’d be freaked out. My middle name is Edward so my initials are MEW which is somewhat fitting since I have cats. My parents didn’t originally name me Matthew; they gave me some European version of the name but I couldn’t pronounce it as a child so they changed it.
@godfatherofgreenbay - hahaaa nope, the M doesn’t stand for Morgan, so no freaking out necessary, it stands for Marie …wait, so your parents legally changed your name from one thing to another, after the fact? that’s pretty cool of them, actually.
@Peridot21 -
I like that combination of names…Pamela(I assume) Marie. My combination of Matthew Edward was pretty popular. My 1st and 2nd grade teacher used it to name her son. A few other kids got that name from me. Yeah, my parents can be OK at times.
@godfatherofgreenbay - yeah, Matthew and Edward are classics, my favorite kinds of names …i bet now there aren’t many Matthews or Edwards ….just a lot of Tylers and Taylors and Zachs and Dylans and whatnot, which is fine too, i guess …and, yep, Pamela Marie is right, thanks.
@Peridot21 -
Well now there aren’t many Matthews or Edwards but if I remember correctly in my graduating high school class of 70 (it would have been 72 but a guy and girl couldn’t graduate with us at the ceremony because she was with his child) there were 6 Matts.