February 27, 2012

• Curl Up Beside the Fireplace and Let My Haikus Warm You

  

  her heart crumpled in
  my hand, the same way a used
  condom wrapper might
  

  The cigarette pack
  is the fortune cookie of
  my generation

  
  

  In the dead of night
  an alien flood of light
  ominous music

  
  

  I think someone shoved
  a tennis ball down my throat
  It’s really itchy

  Softly speak with love
  Answer me back with your eyes
  I give you my heart
  

  Take me into your
  Bed and let me lay with you
  There in love and lust

  
  Your skin used to smell
  Vaguely of cigarettes and
  Coconut shampoo

  
  I only ask you
  To love me for who I am
  And not who you see

  I need your embrace
  Let’s commit some naughty sin
  Let me taste your love

  Slowly swirling tongue
  Your button of ecstasy
  Stimulation high

  
  Summer breeze swept lips
  The hot and wet hurricane
  You hold great power

  
  Two pairs of lips meet
  Mine on my face pressed on yours
  That are a bit south

  Your lips, they tease me
  Trailing down my whole body
  The two become one

  The source of all life
  Sweeps against your hungry tongue
  Greatest form of love

  
  

  The intense pressure
  Feel the build up from deep down

  Overwhelming joy

  
  Such euphoria
  You have given me so much
  I need to get laid

  Like pomegranates
  Your breasts are luscious and ripe
  Belong in my hands

  Your shapely long legs
  Must be wrapped around my head
  Take you to heaven

  
  

  Eruption of lust
  

  My lust is overwhelming
  

  Want this forever

  
  Sex is the foreplay
  Of too long conversations
  We let ourselves in.

  Woke this morning,
  Ravenous for your body:
  Went away starving.

  Maybe it’s my fault
  I’m not good at expressing
  My feelings for you

  
  I apologize
  If it seems I’m not trying
  As much as you are

  
  I’m doing my best
  Please don’t give up on my love
  I won’t let you down

   I scratched my big balls
  Then I scratched my ugly face
  Scent remained all day

  Vain generation
  

  Cam whoring, oversexed kids
  

  Listen too little

  
  They talk way too much
  Sitting behind computers
  They know everything

  
  I see you driving
  ‘round town with the girl I love
  And I’m like “Hello”

  Haikus are easy
  Five then seven and then five
  It all adds up, sir
  

  you've heard this before
  Spam is better than canned Treet
  Off-brand Spam is bad

  You've heard this before
  Boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs
  Boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs 

  You've heard this before
  I am boring you to tears
  Purple Chimpanzee

  Happy birthday me
  No longer a teen, how old?
  Twenty forever
  

  My pee on the rug
  a reminder of the time
  that I went too far.

  
  Cats are really great
  Like a big fluffy best friend
  Meow meow purrr

  
  Felines should rule Earth.
  Although they’re so majestic,
  Their claws are razors.

  Is that a tattoo?
  Come on, it can’t be that bad?
  Here’s your pants, get out!
  

  Your depth deludes you
  Drowning in your own despair
  You’re dead and shallow 

  
  oops I just farted
  I was kind of nervous, but
  It went unnoticed

  
  lost myself today
  turned and ran the other way
  searching for myself

   Have another beer
  and pretend it all worked out
  just as we wanted
  

  I said “You look nice.”
  She said “I’m ugly.” I said
  “Well kill yourself then.”

  cabin fever in
  delirium settling not
  pray to die now.

  
  Call me “Major Tom”
  Oh my God you like Bowie
  No, I’m trapped in space
  

  
  Good ol' Meryl Streep
  If Oscars were up to me
  I'd give you them all

  Master of Haiku
  I am a fucking genius
  Bring me a Leinie's

  A void in my heart
  No butterflies fluttering
  Happy emptiness

  
  

  This has been awesome
  I am going to bed now
  I need to pee ok

  
  
  Only in Wisconsin part 1...he's such a Koch sucker
  
  And 9 months later the house gave birth to a littler trailer and they named him Cletus
  
  Only in Wisconsin part 2...I'm very afraid to set foot in that bar.
  
  At first I was like...hey lady and then I saw her wall.  She firmly believes that beauty isn't skin deep.
  
  Only in Wisconsin part 3...Captain Dix...you should see the shuttle bus they drive around town trying to pick people up.
  
  If Hitler was on RuPaul's Drag Race
  
  Only in Wisconsin part 4...yeah that's pretty accurate.  It was about 40 today and I was only wearing a hoodie.  The wind was killer.
  
  Only on FOX News would they take a kids movie and put a negative meaning behind it...damn liberal media.
  
  Only in Wisconsin part 5...Camp Randall...yeah it's because it's only here
  

  
  Damn straight
  
  That boy ain't right.
  
  I love my state.
  

  • 8:22 PM
  • 53 Comments