Wellity wellity wellity...it seems that Peridot21 figured out one of my profile pics...congratulations! (And no that isn't the prize)

I figured I would do this earlier tonight because I really have to start reading again.  I was averaging a book a day but since I started getting back into Xanga my reading has come to a halt.  Also these damn basketball playoffs are keeping me glued to the TV so naturally I am reading Bill Simmon's "The Book of Basketball: The NBA According to the Sports Guy".  From what I have read so far, it's excellent but he keeps telling me to find stuff on youtube.  I'll look for the clip, like the time Rick Barry, the biggest dick in NBA history, said Bill Russell had a watermelon grin.  Yeah check that one out for Russell's reaction and how Barry tries to redeem himself.  Then I'll start looking for other stuff and then I find myself playing mafia wars. 

Autoerotic asphyxiation is ok, just not INXS.

I think I am going to adopt the Justin Bieber hairstyle.  It's sort of hard not to when you are rocking the comb-over.

Did anyone read my audio entries?  I thought not.

Boobs are the oldest drug in the world.

According to CNN, a red ship collided with a brown ship and the survivors are presumed to be marooned.

There was one time when I thought I was mistaken but I was wrong.

If some is good, then more is better.
I've seen a great deal of hypocrisy today on Xanga so I am just going to leave you with some songs.

Semi-Literate Former Gold Prospector Given Own Cable News Show

I hope everyone wished their mothers a happy mothers day.  My weekend was strange to say the least.  It all started Saturday night when I was driving around trying to collect my thoughts.  My mom calls and asks if I can stop at the hospital and pick up something for my dad.  I pulled up at the hospital and walk in through the only unlocked entrance, the emergency room.  These nurses come running because apparently an ambulance is on the way with some serious situation.  I said I wasn't there with ambulance but needed to pick something up for my dad.  They were indignant and went to a supply closet and pulled out a box.  The nurse walks up to me and shoves the box in my gut and says "Here!"  I drive to drop off the box but curiosity got the best of me.    I opened a flap and I was dumbfounded.  It was a case of enemas.  I had to pull over and gather myself.  Where my parents planning some weird shit for the night?  I don't know why but seeing a case of enemas made me flashback to my earliest childhood memories.  I woke up in the night and heard my parents talking.  I couldn't reach for a glass to get some water so I went to their room.  Big mistake.  There was my dad behind my mom who said, "Not in that hole."  I turned and went to my bedroom sans drink but all these years later it makes me drink.  The other memory was when I found one of my dad's Penthouses.  I took it to show my mom.  "Mommy, look her boobies."  And you wonder why I have issues.  Well on Sunday my mom lets me know that they don't want to go out because my dad is sick.  She said that what I brought him took effect and he can't get it to stop.  She brought up the term "shit spill".  She also said how she was exhausted because she was up all night cleaning the bathroom.  I cringed and suggested that she should just take my dad in the backyard and hose him down.  So I hope all you mothers had a better Mother's Day than what my mom experienced.

Music...the mash-ups for this week have two themes.  One will be pretty obvious but the other not so much.

This one combines "Monkey Wrench" by The Foo Fighters with "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys.  Any mash-up that has "Sabotage" in it can't be bad.

Take "Mic Check" by the Beastie Boys and mix it with "The Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin and you have this nice little mash-up.  I have wondered if either side in Arizona bought rights to "The Immigrant Song" because I bet that would get people to side with them no matter which side they are on.

This mash-up mixes "Rapture" by Blondie with "Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys.  Here's another song by the Beasties that wherever it is featured it can't go wrong.  Freshman year of college that album dropped, as the kids say, and I remember everyone was zombified by that song.  One night these guys put it on there stereo for open dorms and had a "Dance" in their room.  I swear that song must have played for 2 straight hours.  Now a little history on the song "Rapture".  That song is quite monumental to the hip-hop world.  It was the first song to hit number one on a chart that contained rapping and it gave the world the term rapping.  See the DJs would play songs like Rapture and would say, "Oh here is a song that is like "Rapture" because it contains that portion of Rapturing.  Hmmm can I shorten that up?  Yeah, rapping."  Blondie gave birth to the term rapping and Debbie Harry also does the best portrayal of a lesbian biker in all of cinema in the movie Spun.

Did you get the themes?  The first theme was that all the mash-ups contained songs by the Beastie Boys.  That was the obvious one.  The not so obvious one is that all of these mash-ups were created on a video game.  Yes, they all came from DJ Hero.  I really need that game.  Any sugar mommas out there want to help a guy out? 

I have a few people I could hand that out to this coming Valentine's Day.

Well it's time to go have a scotch and have a toast for bread because without bread there would be no toast.  Sometime tomorrow I'll have another guest blogger.  I have to pick him up from the airport.