April 2, 2010
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Feminine Itching
So I have had this idea of just giving titles to my entries that have nothing to do with I am planning on writing about, but then I selected this title because of something that has been bothering me something fierce today. No, I don't itch. What has been happening to me lately is that do you know how you get a song stuck in your head and it stays there all day? Like when I was in high school I would have my stereo playing before school and the last song that was on when I shut it down stuck in my head the rest of the day. I wish that was happening to me these days. What is getting stuck in my head are commercials and specifically one. The last two days when I left the house in the morning the same commercial was playing on the TV. It was about some sort of anti-feminine itch cream. What the fuck! I don't know why it runs through my head. "Ladies, do you ever get that itch that you just can't scratch in public?" Every time that pops into my head the commercial is replaced by the image of Roseanne Barr singing the National Anthem before the San Diego Padres game back in the 90s. I think I have problems.
I just had to include this song:
Did anyone catch South Park last night? I thought the episode was great. It mocked medical marijuana, that douche bag Jamie Oliver, fast food, and that whole viral video about little kids performing Scarface. Oh and maybe the question I should be asking instead of feminine itching is if ladies really do enjoy huge balls.....watch the episode, you'll know what I am talking about.
So I am really jonesing for a Celebrity Round-Up...did you get the feeling that Jesse James called up Tiger Woods and said, "Let me take it over from here." Seriously, that dude is nasty but then I look at the first woman who is claiming to have had an affair with him. She probably wanted James to be the first man to inject something in her that didn't shoot ink. Ricky Martin announced that he was gay. Like we didn't see that one coming because afterall he was in a band called Menudo. Break it down...MEN-U-DO. Anna Paquin said she is bisexual. I guess this means I am going to have to make an announcement eventually. I am jealous of Justin Bieber but then I am anxious to see what a voice change will do to his singing career. I hate Kate Gosslein. I REALLY HATE KATE GOSSLEIN! Let's see...I had more to say but I forgot. See this is why I hate having to do this at the library. I don't want to make it too funny or I might laugh and scare off the Amish.
Speaking of Amish, there is a young mother here with her 3 children and then mother applied for a library card. She is only 18. That dress she is wearing...mmmmm...it shows of a tiny bit of ankle.
I need to write a post on here describing my family in Illinois. People, you can't make that shit up. I got physically sick after hearing some of their antics and I have a high tolerance (just look at my title).
Comments (30)
You sound like you've drank too much Redbull fallowed by 2 pounds of mmms
Are you hyper today?
LOL @ Men U do.
but anna is marrying a man. straight.
I had kind of forgotten about South Park, but when I heard the new season was starting, I wanted to check in and see if it had sunken in suckdom. I was pleasantly surprised . . . it's still relevant and fun as hell. I nearly peed myself last night. What do you think about Ugly Americans??? Knowing my love for zombies, you can probably guess I love it.
My fiance has the weirdest "man" crush on Justin Bieber, and quite frankly, it's starting to creep me out.
Heyyyyy, Gawd-fawtha!! I've missed you! I've been kind of MIA myself lately, but now I'm back!
I can't wait for a full-on Celebrity Roundup. Nobody does it better than you.
Hahaha, yes I saw last night's South Park, but no... as a general rule, women don't like big balls. It's not like men with tits where most of them think that bigger is better except for some who prefer smaller becaue bigger tend to not stay firm as long. I don't think most women really care one way or the other. If they did, we would surely be talking about them and commenting on them when we get with other ladies, but I can honestly say that the only time a man's balls has ever been involved in my conversations with other women is when one of us has seen something unique... like unusually tiny, or huge, or too furry, or there is only one, or he shaved. LOL Nice post. Can't wait for that Celebrity Roundup either! <3 Suz
Baby, baby, baby..oooooh! Once I listened to his song to see wtf is a Justin Bieber lol *mistake intended* The song remained stuck in my head for a day. It was difficult living with myself at that moment.
Welcome back. (Well, sort of) I am so ignorant of pop culture that I can only read and chuckle. However I do know what you mean about the only thing near her that didn't inject ink.
godfather...o godfather are you finally back....i missed you so much....wait this was on april 1st....was this a joke????
SOUTH PARK!!!! MISSED THAT ONE BUT ILL LOOK IT UP! AND NO BIG BALLS ARENT A ISSUE FOR ME, ITS THE BIG COCK THAT IS....NICE BALLS ARE GOOD! MUAH!!!!
@NightlyDreams - Well let's see yesterday...it was very warm and it made me excited for the summer I guess. I think because I am swearing off caffeine and other sorts of stimulants that my body is becoming hyper naturally.
@TheGiantSlayer - Hey, it's such a telling sign so there should be no surprises.
@BranmacFeabhail - Maybe they have some sort of open marriage because she just released all these PSAs condeming hate crimes against gays, lesbians, transgenders, and bis.
@jacksoncroons - I am so amazed South Park has remained relevant. I think it is because of how they can churn out episodes so quickly. Unlike Family Guy or The Simpsons, South Park has an insane schedule. They start production of an episode the day after a new one airs so this way they can mock current events unlike those aforementioned shows. I was in tears when the guys were using their beanbags as bouncy balls. I used to have one of those as a kid. I have enjoyed what I have seen of Ugly Americans. I keep watching it because all the voices sound familiar, like characters from Clerks.
@Shy___Away - I saw on TMZ last night that there is a website called "Lesbians that Look like Bieber". The examples they showed were hilarious.
@Another_Perfect_Wonder - Aw...thank you...I can't wait to get back fulltime so I can catch-up on everyone's sites and also be able to mock celebrities once again. I am going stir crazy.
@VioletMoonDancer7 - Wow...thanks for all the input. I too can't wait to get back on a fulltime blogging schedule. I really angered someone.
@windoftheforest - I recently saw a website that was called Lesbians that look like Bieber. That was funny and I can't get that out of my head. I have to give the kid credit because he went out and sang on youtube and now he is a god.
@LUNAPHIA - Well...thank you for the input on the ball situation. No this wasn't a joke. I am still not back fulltime because I don't have a computer but for some reason the library computers block facebook so I figured I would spend time at Xanga. I should have the computer back in at least a fortnight.
@curiousdwk - Well I will havet o recycle that joke with a picture of the woman in her Nazi garb. Yes, this guy is cheating with a woman who likes to dress up as a Nazi. What is wrong with my generation?
"Hey! It's like a hoppity hoppity!"
Last nights south park was hilarious; i nearly threw up from laughing... however the first two episodes of the season were highly disappointing for me. Oh well, still one of the best shows on the air.
can't wait to read about your family. maybe it'll explain some things
haha. I missed that episode of South Park.
wtf is jamie oliver doing over here trying to feed our kids right? I'm sure somewhere in the british empire he could spend his time more wisely than spending his time over here. btw, he looks super ghey.
Ball size doesn't matter, as long as they look nice
The episode was really hilarious. It attacked the whole prohibition thing from both angles, and I loved it 
Nearly died laughing just at the music that played every time they hopped around on their ball sacs!
Branmac, Anna Paquin isn't straight just because she's marrying a dude. Just like her getting married to a woman wouldn't magically make her a lesbian. You can be married to and monogamous with someone yet still feel attracted to people of both sexes. I know from personal experience
DangerousDan: Holy crap. *stares* I'm sorry, did you say something?
No huge balls for me. Although, I found the ones in that episode of South Park particularly alluring just because you could bounce around on them as a form of transportation... Glad you're back to posting! Loved the pictures of from Wisconsin. Especially the socks. My mother always gets me socks for holidays. I love them, too!
@Angelina_Everlong -
When I was a kid there were these huge bouncy balls with a hoop on the top. You sat on the ball and grabbed the hoop and could bounce around just like they were doing in that episode. I was in tears because it was so funny.
If I want decent socks that fit I have to have them made for me.
OK I get it. You're FUNNY! Ba haha. You will be on my 'dudes of xanga' blog under 'comedians.'
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