May 10, 2010
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Guest Blog: Times Square Car Bomb Scare
From time to time I like to sit back and let others blog for me. Over the past I have had guest bloggers cover the Israeli/Palestinian Conflict, The Economy, The Swine Flu, and The Nobel Prize.
I do not have the words to fully express the situation in New York City when it comes to these bomb scares which is why I have brought in a guest blogger. Just a reminder, I do not endorse the words of my guest blogger.
Peter “Paulie Walnuts” GualtieriPiacere, Don Mateo!
Oh, madonn’, this jamook in the city has me mezza morta. He bought some fuckin’ fireworks and potting soil and he’s going to kill us Americans? Oh madonn’!
All I’m saying, cugine, is you drop me in Wherever-the-fuck-it-is-istan, and I’ll give that finook a Moe Green special. I dare them to come over here to Jersey and pull that shit. They wind up in old man Satriale’s grinder.These mortadella terrorists are cutting into this thing of ours and making it harder for us to make a decent and honest living. You say the word and I clip every single one of those fuckers. Ah va fa Napole! Oh!
One strunz is goin’ ruin the whole fuckin’ Times Square experience? Now everyone is getting scared and turning puttana. Oh a bag of water and books…I’m shakin’ in my boots. Oobatz! Then you get this cafone who lets his car idle in the square. What the fuck? He has everyone hiking up their skirts and running for the hills. But then shit happens, what are you gonna do?
We send them money and we supply them weapons to fight off the Russians but in the end they try to fuckin’ kill us. You do them an act of kindess and you get bombed for your efforts. You think you have an ally but in the end they fuck you too.
I tell you, just let me at this pucchiacha and I’ll put one between his eyes and blow his brains out. Seeing as the guy tried to use fireworks for his bomb there probably won’t be many brains to clean up. Then all this talk of whackin’ the terrorists, I figure I’m gonna do a few thousand years in purgatory because you add up all your mortal sins and multiply that by 50 and then add up all your venial sins and then you multiply that by 25. You add the two numbers together and that’s your sentence in purgatory. A few thousand years is just like a few years in jail here.
Just say the word Don Mateo and I will separate Juan Valdez from his donkey.
I just have one last thing to say about the terrorists:
Fuck ‘em!Disclaimer: the guest blogger’s opinions do not reflect those of the godfatherofgreenbay.
Comments (31)
LOVE lol reading this made me feel like I was home hahaha
I don’t care who this guy is, I read the entire entry in the mental voice of Tom Hanks thanks to having recently watched Castaway, and it made the entry THAT MUCH BETTER TO LOOK AT.
Send my regards to your ‘guest blogger’.
now i’m hungry for italian food. where’s my spaghetti and meatballs lol
lmao, I wonder what all my italian teachers would have to say about this.
you chose a good guest blogger!
I think you’re particularly going to enjoy today’s offering entrywise, because while it’s shorter in terms of general content, I have a couple “wit-styled observations” to include at the very end, much like your pictures with captions that I often see on here. We’ll see what develops.
haha ya know, with as many tv shows as i’ve been known to watch, i have watched exactly zero (zero!) of The Sopranos… oh well, no biggie… cause there’s no such thing as the mafia anywayyyy…
ba da bing!
=P
I like dis fuggin’ guy!
@jenessa1889 -
I’m glad Paulie had that effect on you.
@sonicmega -
Hahahaha…Tom Hanks, that’s great. I just can’t picture Tom Hanks as a mobster…oh wait.
@RestlessButterfly -
I will do that
@NightlyDreams -
I’m actually in the mood for some Sicilian Meat Loaf. The recipe can be found in one of my recipe posts
@whereisichi -
I am sure they would love it since most of it is Americanized Italian.
@Peridot21 -
Oh come on now…you need to see some Sopranos. If you don’t care for all the language or violence (because I know you have that halo) you could check it out on A&E but yes you are correct, there is no such thing as the mafia although I know people who would argue based on their life.
@MelFamy -
It’s a good thing you liked this one otherwise Uncle Paulie wouldn’t be too happy.
@godfatherofgreenbay - hahaaa yeah, that halo can be a reeeeal pain sometimes =P …i watch Criminal Minds (aka Derek Morgan. FBI.) re-runs on A&E, and at one point in the schedule, The Sopranos came on right after it …i like the opening song for it so i would listen to that …but as soon as the song was over, i’d switch channels lol =D
i love your quest blogger, he is totally awsome. and i agree wit him……FUCK EM!
@Peridot21 -
When I smoked cigars, I would drive around my college town with that song playing just like Tony. We put that in a class video for homecoming and I played Tony.
@LUNAPHIA -
glad you liked otherwise he would have gotten upset and he isn’t pleasant to be around when he is upset. I hope my email was not too bad.
You’re not a godfather for nothing, that’s for fuckin’ sure! Awesome post, had great fun while reading it.
In bocca al lupo, e?
@windoftheforest -
Glad you enjoyed. I should have put Buon Anima in there but I don’t think anyone wishes people like that rest in peace.
@godfatherofgreenbay - now that’s a video that would definitely be xanga post-worthy. =P
btw, don’t think i don’t notice and/or appreciate the magic changing profile pics… i just have no idea who half of them are. lol =)
@Peridot21 -
See that is why I love this game. If you get this guy, you win a million points or whatever. I will dedicate a post to you.
I wish I had half the movies I made in college. I can’t find them anywhere. There was the time I hosted a late night talk show and we did a bit with a guy from my class who was on The Price is Right.
@godfatherofgreenbay - ahhh the pressure… wants. to. get. it. right. so. baaaad.
…k, let me think for a sec …and no, of course not, i won’t cheat, do i ever?? oh, wait.
@godfatherofgreenbay - ok, after cheating quite a bit (and finding nothing btw lol), i’m gonna go with the first governor of wisconsin… or minnesota… or some obscure dead president… did i win? did i win? did i win? =P
@Peridot21 -
But I need a name…and one of those is correct
@godfatherofgreenbay - holy wow… really? …ok, one more sec… (please hold)
@godfatherofgreenbay - (man, i love google lol) …ok, the name is James Polk …and that’s my final answer, Regis
@Peridot21 -
Dag-nab-it! You got it. I’ll have to study your site so I can make a proper tribute post just so you don’t think I am totally creeping around your site. I can’t believe you got the “Napoleon of the Stump”.
@godfatherofgreenbay - omgeeee yay! i woniwoniwon *does happy dance* …what, so it doesn’t take much to make me happy, big deal lol
…wait, Napoleon? he was really short?
@Peridot21 -
Polk was a conqueror and also a great orator. I guess he conquered people with his brilliant words. He’s my favorite president and They Might Be Giants do a killer song about him.