May 27, 2010
-
Questions with the Godfather and his Cock
For those of you who are new to these parts, I used to do a regular post featuring me answering questions alongside my cock, my pet rooster, Cocky McCockburns. Well after a long break, Cocky and I are back to tackle all your questions.
Me: So Cocky how was your time off?
Cocky: You should be asking how was my time getting off.
Me: Umm...no.
Cocky: Oh it was so exciting. I finally tricked out my car.
Cocky: Do we tell the readers of the Valentine's Day debacle.
Me: Oh please don't.
Cocky: Well I won't have to tell them, I have photographic evidence and it is very graphic.
Me: Please...stop
Cocky: Anyway, fruit pie, I went back to my native Scotland.
Me: Oh yeah? How was that?
Cocky: Oh it was exhausting and nerve-wracking.
Me: How was it nerve-wracking?
Cocky: Well there was an incident and the police were after me, it was just a mess but I did get to see all my old friends and family.
Me: If the police were after you, how did you get around?
Cocky: Oh I hid under a few kilts.
Me: So there really is a Cocky underneath a Scotsman's kilt.
Cocky: And I smuggled in a crate of our sponsor's goods under my kilt.
Me: Well, Cocky, are you ready?
Cocky: Cocked, locked and ready to unload.
Me: Excellent...and now a word from our sponsors.This blog brought to you by Cockburns
Cockburns produces some of the world’s finest Ports; make sure you try the full range and experience the signature Cockburns taste, picking your favorite for different occasions.
When will the Braves win another World Series?
Anxious in Atlanta
Me: Well, despite the hot start, I think the Braves will not make the post-season. Sorry to be upsetting.
Cocky: OK, bitch-tits is such a naysayer. The Braves will win the World Series as soon as I finish the voodoo dolls for every team in Major League Baseball
Self-Lover in Seneca
Me: Why would I know about that? Are you trying to insinuate something?
Cocky: Just answer the damn question you mary. The godfather has a lifetime supply of Shamwow hidden under his bed. You’ll love his nuts.
Me: Cocky you got the slogans mixed up with the Slap-Chop.
Cocky: Oh that’s right you aren’t into the sado-masochism but you do do a lot of slapping and chopping.
How can I be as awesome as you guys?
Awesomeness in Ashwabenon
Me: Well, you see it’s just as simple as---
Cocky: You wouldn’t know awesome if you had fireworks shooting out of your ass. See, if you have to ask then you can never achieve the awesomeness that is me, Cocky. I just don’t see it in store for you, poopy-pants. You and the godfather should get together and wallow in your dorkiness.
Curious in Kendall
Me: I really don’t think that is how it works but then I’m not a licensed optometrist.
Cocky: The only OH face the Godfather makes is when he is flipping through the music channels and he comes across, pun intended, Ciara’s new music video. Then he says “Oh” and pulls out the Shamwow. Actually people go from having cross-eyes to having lazy eyes.
So my piece of crap Ford Focus is having problems.
If you’re driving for a while, it might be an oxygen sensor heating up then going out. You also might be losing fuel pressure or a pump might be going out, then going back on when you start it up again. There's a ton of things that might be wrong with it but it sounds mostly like it something in the fuel system.
Cocky: Simple answer: it’s a Ford
OK, that is it for this week and I plan on timestamping this. I am warning you ahead so if you are a challenged Xangan and don't understand the mysticism behind the dreaded timestamp, DO NOT BEGIN TO BELIEVE THAT I AM HARASSING YOU! I just want all people to enjoy the wisdom I dispense with my cock.
If you have a question for myself or Cocky you can either email here at Xanga or at advicewithcocky@gmail.com or you can ask anonymously over at our formspring.
Comments (20)
what the ....
COCKY!!!!!!
Glad to see you are back, I bet some people were surprised to see that a Scotsman really did have a cock hanging (out) below his knees.
omg heeee's baaaack ...and he called you poopy-pants! lol =P
random note: i miss Francoeurrrr... not that he'd help or whatever, i just miss him.
fat naked elvis impersonator was really disturbing.
LMAO.
(timestamp number 1)...quit harassing meeee!!! =P
omg ELVIS LIVES!
LOL
But, butt...I likez Ford!!11 I'm sure it has no problems, just major does of medications on the owner. Sweet Jeebus, you are killing that sweet car!
@mysterygirl3000 -
Yes that is what I say when I come up with all my ideas.
@bosefius -
You know it's true, laddy. Weird, the Godfather never makes me talk with a Scottish brogue. I'm going to have to talk to him about that.
@Peridot21 -
That's right...I'm back. The Godfather thought he had me beat. After he finished choking me, I sprang back into action. Yes, I call him poopy pants and I also call him a fruity barrel assed porker milky licker. I listen to a lot of Jerky Boys.
@macphoto -
SO you can tell my anguish every time the Godfather tries to pin me down.
@fading_roses19 -
Thank you
@Peridot21 -
Godfather here...I finally wrestled Cocky to the ground...You could not believe the stupidity that this one girl here on Xanga displayed when she said I was harassing her by timestamping my entries. "I know what 'Cock' means and it's sick. You should stop writing on Xanga or writing about good things like Prince Guko and the Twilight vampires." OK that isn't an exact quote but it's sure close.
@NightlyDreams -
No you can understand the hell that I, Cocky, go through every night when the Godfather tries to sing.
@Shining_Garnet -
Thank you
@windoftheforest -
Hey...my car kicks ass but the only bad thing is that when I drive around town I have people chasing me wondering if I am carrying fried chicken.
@godfatherofgreenbay - wow, really? ...someone did that?? =/
@Peridot21 -
Yes, they were a thorn in my proverbial side or is it a proverbial thorn in my side. She was a bit slower so I think that had something to play into it. She bothered Bosefius as well and he had some interesting posts about her.
Comments are closed.